Pammy... Do NOT look here!

Discussion in 'OT (OFF Topic) Forums' started by glojo, Nov 16, 2005.

  1. glojo

    glojo MB Club Veteran

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    Hi Pammy :)

    Sorry about posting this, but lets pretend your a brunette :)

    The Blonde Year In Review

    January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

    February - Ordered new drapes for her computer because it had windows.

    March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because the box said "2-4 years."

    April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

    May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water wouldn't fit into the little packet.

    June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope

    July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition,complained to the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.

    August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top was down.

    September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C "

    October - Hates M &M's beca! use they are so hard to peel.

    November - Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 120.

    December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone button.

    **********************


    I'll pack my bags,
    John
     
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  2. Ian B Walker

    Ian B Walker MB Club Veteran

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    John welcome to the world of the "Living Dead". I have a feeling that we are both dead men walking, me for a previous post, you for this hilarity :bannana: :bannana:
     
  3. Alfie

    Alfie Authorised Forum Sponsor Authorised Forum Sponsor

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    I asked my son what the capital of France was and he said 'F'. But then he is five years old. :)
     
  4. OP
    OP
    glojo

    glojo MB Club Veteran

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    Hi Alfie,
    What colour hair has your son got? :D

    Good morning Ian,
    :D I've deliberately told Pammy NOT to look.......

    So I will be okee dokee!!!

    Hi Pammy :p :p

    John
     
  5. SportsCoupeRich

    SportsCoupeRich Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    regardless as to what pammy thinks, i am offended. Will the mods please censor this post. i am one of the blondes in this country and every day I have to put up with this. Its just another form of 'cism'. When will you people learn that our hair colour doesnt determine our intelligence anymore than yours.

    What are you suggesting next. That we should have an 'a-parting' similar to the aparteid?

    Makes me so mad.... ;)
     
  6. Ady

    Ady Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Q. What does a blonde call a bottle of brown hair die?

    A. Artificial Intelligence!


    Sorry, I did try to resist. :eek:
     
  7. SportsCoupeRich

    SportsCoupeRich Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    look at all the comedians..... :)
     
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  8. Flyer

    Flyer Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    It hasn't even started yet ... :p

    A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning."

    --------------

    Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blond said "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued fora while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

    -------------

    Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

    -----------------

    A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "shut up...you're next!"

    ------------------

    Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
    It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

    -----------------

    What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
    They drowned in Spring training.

    ------------------

    What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
    "Look! they spelled MACYS wrong."

    -----------------

    Why do blondes like lightning?
    They think someone is taking their picture.
    -----------------

    Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
    To see what was on the other side.

    --------------------

    How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
    Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
    ------------------

    Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice?
    Because it said 'concentrate'.

    --------------------

    A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee she remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms."

    :eek:
     
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  9. tinkypot

    tinkypot Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Oldie but a classic.

    A few days ago I was having some work done at the local Benz Dealership. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

    We all looked at each other and another customer asked, “What is a seven-hundred-ten?”

    She replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.” She said that she did not know what it was but this piece had always been there.

    He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car, which had its hood up and asked, “Is there a 710 on this car?”

    She pointed and said, “Of course, it’s right there.” (See image)










    [​IMG]
    Click here for image
     
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  10. PJH

    PJH Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Well it's Wednesday today....

    PS Beats me why Blondes always dye their roots black. :crazy:
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2005
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  11. machasm

    machasm Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    PJH
    Looks like the admins found your signature image a little too sexist. I thought it was quite nice.
    Mac.
     
  12. pammy

    pammy MB Club Veteran

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    :D Bring it on!! :D

    Some of these are so old - older than me (before anyone says owt) But they're always good for a giggle :D

    And John - you knew I'd have to look didn't you? ;) So welcome to the black book. At last Mr Walker's got some company ;)
     
  13. lotusmark2

    lotusmark2 Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Dont know why Pammy would be upset by these...its not ike your a natural blonde is it Pammy :devil: ;) :D
    so is that 3 in the book then :p
     
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  14. OP
    OP
    glojo

    glojo MB Club Veteran

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    :D Looks like I started something. :eek: :eek:

    Regards,
    John
     
  15. scumbag

    scumbag Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    i refuse to post in this thread so i can avoid the black book.



    and i shall shave off my hair before the next GTG in case anyone asks!!
     
  16. OP
    OP
    glojo

    glojo MB Club Veteran

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    Whoops!!!
     
  17. Alfie

    Alfie Authorised Forum Sponsor Authorised Forum Sponsor

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    Very blonde!
     
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  18. Spinal

    Spinal Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    I'm shocked...

    shocked I say!

    How could you!

    I mean seriously!!!

    You forgot one!

    Q: Why does a blonde put lipstick on his/her(don't want to be sexist, now do you? :p) forehead?
    A: To makeup his/her mind!

    Michele :p
     
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  19. PJH

    PJH Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Black Book ? Ha Ha, Been there, done that, got SEVERAL T-shirts. :D
     
  20. GRAV888

    GRAV888 MB Club Veteran

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    Did they tell jokes in king Arthurs' time then :confused:
     
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