Political Correctness.......

[Howard]

>
>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>TO: All Employees
>DATE: 4th November
>RE: Christmas Party
>
>I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00 p.m.. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.
>Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
>Pauline
>
>
>
>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>TO: All Employees
>DATE: 5th November
>RE: Holiday Party
>
>In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
>We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'.. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
>Happy now?
>
>Happy Holidays to you and your family,
>Pauline.
>
>
>
>
>FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>TO: All Employees
>DATE: 6th November
>RE: Holiday Party
>
>Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and Management believe £10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
>Pauline.
>
>
>
>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>TO: All Employees
>DATE: 7th November
>RE: Holiday Part
>
>What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'
>beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first.. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!
>
>
>Pauline.
>
>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>TO: All F****** Employees
>DATE: 8 November
>RE: The ******** Holiday Party.
>
>Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too, They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!! I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.
>The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
>FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
>DATE: 9th November
>RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
>
>I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
>

No offence meant to anyone, just a light hearted look at PC gone mad ..... If anyone is upset , please PM me and i will remove this post....

 

[Mambo]

Made me chuckle!

 

[Ian B Walker]

Howard that is exactly how GTG's are organised

 

[Flyer]

Read that before, very funny and so very apt. Take it that your last sentence was irony?

PC has gone mad. People are so ready to take offence at the slightest comment that might offend someone (not even themselves!). Can't be doing with it.

 

[Alfie]

>

No offence meant to anyone, just a light hearted look at PC gone mad ..... If anyone is upset , please PM me and i will remove this post....

Very funny and amusing. Its sad though that you feel you have put the last line in these days. Clearly PC has gone far too far.

Good post. Well done.

 

[Howard]

It wasn't irony actually

Just paranoid about upsetting people, i know there are people a lot more sensitive than me .....

 

[Flyer]

It wasn't irony actually

Just paranoid about upsetting people, i know there are people a lot more sensitive than me .....

Hmm, well I wouldn't want to offend anyone either, but if someone takes offence at that, they need to take a close look at themselves and then beat themselves about the person with a leek until they accept that taking offence at everything is not good for their health.

 

[Howard]

Hey, what about the one legged , lesbian , crack addicted, disadvantaged somalian single mothers , we have to consider everyone you know ......

 

[Flyer]

Hey, what about the one legged , lesbian , crack addicted, disadvantaged somalian single mothers , we have to consider everyone you know ......

Now you're just being deliberately offensive ... now, where's that leek ...

 

[Thmsshaun]

Hmm, well I wouldn't want to offend anyone either, but if someone takes offence at that, they need to take a close look at themselves and then beat themselves about the person with a leek until they accept that taking offence at everything is not good for their health.

LOL

It is a shame Howard that we feel we need to keep putting in those tags at the end.

Funny though :bannana:

 

[BTB 500]

The staff restaurant at work used to do 'theme' days a couple of times a year - special dishes, decorations, music, staff in costumes etc.

Irish stuff for St Patrick's day, Scottish stuff for Burns night, that sort of thing. Nothing OTT, just a bit of a change once in a while.

Until they did a Halloween one. The catering manager had to make a formal apology via the staff council after a complaint about it encouraging witchcraft!!

No more theme days after that.

 

[PJH]

Howard, a work colleague has to have a Gluten Free diet, can he still come?

Howard that is exactly how GTG's are organised

Just wait 'til the 'Clumber Park' organiser sees that.

 

[pammy]

Nah - Clumber gtg's are

"This is how it is - take it or leave it"

But how about this one presented to me today. I'm designing a complex calc based wed service and people will be able to either draw down data online or fill it in themselves. On the secure Data Print for Data Protection purposes we describe each data item to help the recipient understand it. For information we've retrived on line we say "Information retrieved online" logical up to now, yes?

IN some cases they will eneter information themselves. This has been labelled - "Data entered manually". What's wrong with that? Go on have a guess. I'll post the answer in a few min's.

 

[Cronos]

This has been labelled - "Data entered manually". What's wrong with that?

Is it because there are only women in the typing pool?







*runs for cover*

 

[Flyer]

IN some cases they will eneter information themselves. This has been labelled - "Data entered manually". What's wrong with that? Go on have a guess. I'll post the answer in a few min's.

If you say what I think you're going to say, I think my head will explode

 

[mark.t]

when I worked for Rochdale council a fellow women worker told me I had a macho walk and could I possibly tone it down as this could be seen as aggressive and intimidating for other workers and clients, and i should think about my role as a white male so I asked here to demonstrate how I should walk, which she did up and down the corridor with me saying I haven't quite got it yet ...with a convincing voice... I eventually pointed out I could not walk like that as I have a k**B down there and not on the front of my head like her ...... GOD THE CRAP WE HAD TO PUT UP WITH

 

[pammy]

Is it because there are only women in the typing pool?


*runs for cover*

Close - but not close enough

If you say what I think you're going to say, I think my head will explode

So is this going to get messy? The answer is:


Because it may offend people who don't have hands

In addition to this we can't use the word "see" on the site in case it offends people with visual impairments who can't see and we can't use the word "click" as in "Click here" in case it offends people with hearing impairments.

I am all for non-offensive language etc but this is just plain stupid.

 

[Flyer]

So is this going to get messy? The answer is:


Because it may offend people who don't have hands

Must admit, thought it was going to be as Cronos saw it, "Man"ually. The real reason is even worse ...

In addition to this we can't use the word "see" on the site in case it offends people with visual impairaments who can't see and we can't use the word "click" as in "Click here" in case it offends people with hearing impairments.

It is utter madness and stupidity. If you had no hands, would you really take offence if someone used the word "manually" in a software program. "See"? "Click"? Give me strength ....

Pammy, can you tell me who makes these decisions? Is it one person or is it a committee made up of idiots? Or is there a manual (Oops! Sorry! Can't use that word ....) err, a book with guidelines (Damn, can't use guide as it might offend blind people who use guide dogs ...), err, a book with instructions that you have to follow (Is "follow" OK? Anyone here take offence at "follow"? No? Good, we can use that then ....

 

[PJH]

Pammy, Could they see Click Here to click on it ?
Flyer, Damn, can't use guide... could offend Scouts !

 

[Cronos]

Because it may offend people who don't have hands

Madness!

On the other hand even if you did offend them they wouldn't be able to type a letter of complaint!



Okay, I'll get my coat!