Priceless Interview Answers

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Spinal

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So, following on from another topic...

There are some standard interview questions... so standard, it's a surprise that they still use them (to me at least). Examples are "Can you please walk us through an example of a time you faced a challenge?" or "made a mistake?" or "showed innovation?" or "showed proactivity?".

That sort of competency based thing (though not restricted to that).

I thought I'd try to document the best (in a humorous sense) answers... so maybe not those that would get you the job, but those that will make the interviewer (or a third party afterwards; like everyone else on the forum) smile :p

Here's my contribution:

Q: Can you please give me an example of a mistake you made, the impact, what steps you took to correct this and the final outome?
A: Marrying my wife.

Q: What brought you to Company X?
A: I drove...

Any others you've come across?
M.
 
Another standard question I had at interview for a University Lectureship:
"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"

"Retired" (I was 33 at the time)

Strangely I didn't get the job!
 
When in the States being interviewed by an investment group I was finding their questions bordering on the banal, so when asked what was my greatest achievement I did actually say with a straight face " marrying my wife". They really don't get English humour. I was offered the job but declined. :D
 
I had adverts running for staff in seven different cities a few years back, and Liverpool was one of them. When a girl with strong scouse accent phoned, to clarify, I asked where she was phoning from. "Home" came the answer. To clarify further, I asked if she was phoning from the Liverpool area. "No" she said. Miffed, I asked whereabouts in the country she was calling from. "Birkenhead." she replied

She didn't get to the interview stage.
 
I had a friend who once applied for a job with H M Customs. He progressed to a final interview. Sat in front of three people, one a lady. She tried the embarrassment question. Which was "Do you Masturbate?" His reply was, "Of course, don't you?" He got the job.
 
We recently had an interview for a position in the company.

One candidate had the nerve to write and tell us that he was not impressed with the interviewing skills of the person he saw and that he had taken the time and effort to research our company beforehand.

The funny thing is that he quoted the person by name and got it wrong.

As far as I know, he is still looking for work...........
 
I have 50 or so CVs on my desk at the moment :eek:

Just.. so shockingly bad!
 
I have 50 or so CVs on my desk at the moment :eek:

Just.. so shockingly bad!

One of my managers was interviewing last year and had far too many candidates. I suggested a technique I'd read somewhere or other - take half of the pile at random and throw it in the bin. He was outraged! The rationale of course is that those candidates in that half are unlucky, and I don't want unlucky people working for me....

The serious point was that as a recruiter you can often spend far too much time analysing CVs for minute differences that will not necessarily translate into meaningfully better performance. I wanted to get someone who would do the job excellently. In a strong pool that didn't need to be the very best individual.
 
Takes me about 15 seconds to decide when scanning, generally; you wouldn't believe the number of people who apply for a livelihood with a typo-filled and meaningless CV and letter.

Probably miss the odd rough diamond but overall, you gotta get step 1 right if you're trying to demonstrate attention to detail and sell yourself!
 
I had a friend who once applied for a job with H M Customs. He progressed to a final interview. Sat in front of three people, one a lady. She tried the embarrassment question. Which was "Do you Masturbate?" His reply was, "Of course, don't you?" He got the job.

Are you saying that they only employee w*****s? :D
 
I had a friend who once applied for a job with H M Customs. He progressed to a final interview. Sat in front of three people, one a lady. She tried the embarrassment question. Which was "Do you Masturbate?" His reply was, "Of course, don't you?" He got the job.

Are you saying that they only employee w*****s? :D

Well it is a very Civil Service --:D
 
I remember interviewing for an office junior who as well as dogsbody was to do my typing (the reason I was involved with the interview).

One girl would not speak other to say yes or no. Tried for 20 minutes to encourage her to develop a personality as she was very good on paper. Alas not forthcoming and as she left we were none the clearer about who she was.

Sadly we ended up with the mouthy one, who brought this along with teenage sulks into the office:doh:
 
At the 'put the interviewee at ease' stage of the interview - young blonde female is chatting away:
'That's a nice ornament you have on the grass in front of the building'
'It's a sundial'
'What's that?'
'It tells the time by using the shadow cast by the sun'
'Gosh, what will they think of next......!!'
 
One of my managers was interviewing last year and had far too many candidates. I suggested a technique I'd read somewhere or other - take half of the pile at random and throw it in the bin. He was outraged! The rationale of course is that those candidates in that half are unlucky, and I don't want unlucky people working for me....

The serious point was that as a recruiter you can often spend far too much time analysing CVs for minute differences that will not necessarily translate into meaningfully better performance. I wanted to get someone who would do the job excellently. In a strong pool that didn't need to be the very best individual.

I start with throwing away things that arrive in brown envelopes, followed by letters in pencil and then letters on lined paper.

You would be so surprised at how many this gets rid of.
 
I just love the personal statement especially when someone has not really had a career at that stage in their life. Then there's the very obvious overstating of the job role rather than the subtle uplifting.

Wonder if I can get the masturbation question into a interview without losing my job?
 
I had a friend who once applied for a job with H M Customs. He progressed to a final interview. Sat in front of three people, one a lady. She tried the embarrassment question. Which was "Do you Masturbate?" His reply was, "Of course, don't you?" He got the job.

:crazy: Staggered that's even 'allowed'. Was this in the 70s? Or some parallel dimension? How did this not end up on the front page of The Sun?

If I tried that where I work I'd find myself swiftly out on my ear!
 
Friend of mine was interviewing for an in-house corporate lawyer. Had one lady in there and was asking a few questions about general interests. She offered up that she was interested in wine. Oh yes, says my friend (a bit of a wine buff); what kind of things do you like? Red, she replied...
 
Setting your sights high!

I liked this answer to what will you be doing in 10years time:-

I will cease to exist as a mere 3 dimensional being but become a field of pure energy and ascend to a higher plane of consciousness. :rolleyes:
 
This was in the late 70's. Times have changed somewhat. :dk:

Yep. These days, there would be a workplace impact assessment to evaluate the potential risks of an RSI claim from solo sexual activity.

Followed by an offer of counselling. :)
 

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