Quiet night tonight...

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davidjpowell

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Location
Doncaster
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Partner went off to deliver a birthday present to my niece, following my directions.

I directed her to a point, that she should have recognised.

For some reason, at this point she turned left instead of right. Right was a two mile journey to the next junction.

She rang me 15 miles later asking where to go after Rotherham:doh:

Got her turned around, and rang her back to check... Can't speak - stopped for answering my phone call... Oops:wallbash:

All my fault apparantly.
 
Well it was certainly your fault she turned left instead of right. No question...:)
 
Is always the way as far as I know. How can it not be?
 
Might have been your fault but it was her responsibility.
 
Apparently was a nice policeman who gave her a warning.

And directions.

I did point out the foolishness of answering the phone when directly in front of a police car...
 
Unforgivable David.











Sending your wife through Rotherham, a fate worse than death.
 
Is Rotherham "up north"? Just waiting for Nick Mercedes to jump on that one. :D
 
When you realised she had taken too long and was maybe lost, why on earth did you ring her?
 
Cant believe you were so daft. Obviously its your fault !
 
For the official rules of Marriage numbers 1 to 12, see below.



1. Its ALWAYS the mans fault when something goes wrong, missing, breaks or fails to work.
2. See above
3. See above
4. See above
5. See above
6. See above
7. See above
8. See above
9. See above
10. See above
11. See above
12. This rule will continue to apply even after separation, divorce or even death until the woman has found some other unfortunate male to blame.
 
Last edited:
Apparently was a nice policeman who gave her a warning.

And directions.

I did point out the foolishness of answering the phone when directly in front of a police car...

You dared to point out the error of her ways!!!:eek::eek: Especially as it was obviously ALL YOUR FAULT in the first place.:confused::confused:

I'm surprised you can still type and aren't locked away for our sins.:D
 
Am I alone in being amazed by the fact that if anything goes wrong it's always the man/husbands/boyfriends fault. However if something goes right it is always the woman/wife/girlfriend who takes the credit even if blatantly the original sugesstion came from the husband . :wallbash:
 
Am I alone in being amazed by the fact that if anything goes wrong it's always the man/husbands/boyfriends fault. However if something goes right it is always the woman/wife/girlfriend who takes the credit even if blatantly the original sugesstion came from the husband . :wallbash:


Sorry...........

I forgot to add that to my list above.

Thats rule number 13.
 
At least you can now buy her a sat nav for her birthday rather than something that has to fit, match something else or be precisely the correct hue...
 
At least you can now buy her a sat nav for her birthday rather than something that has to fit, match something else or be precisely the correct hue...

Are you serious ?????? That would turn into a " so you really dont trust me to go anywhere now do you " !!!!!
 
At least you can now buy her a sat nav for her birthday rather than something that has to fit, match something else or be precisely the correct hue...

I had a mate who wanted a new 5tonne trolley jack. He bought it for his wife for Xmas thinking he would be able to have it, she hauled it out from under the tree unwrapped it, they had a row, he went to pick it up, she said "Get off that it's mine and you can't have it".:D

He had hidden her real presents around the house but the damage was done, he never did get that trolley jack. Female & logic, two words never to be used in the same sentence.:thumb::thumb:
 
However...........

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't have to stop and think of which way
to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress £5000. Tux rental-£100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Send this to the women who can handle it
And to the men who will enjoy reading it.
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as
Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
· A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument..
FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 

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