relationship advice...

[guydewdney]

i know - its not the sort of forum that one posts this sort of question to - but hey - i cant ask my 'mates' as most would take the mickey..


background - broke up with fiancee 3 months ago - slow decline and upset / depressed at the time, now OK.

joined biker dating agency. bikers know that bikers are a different bunch on the whole to the rest of the world (bikers, not motorcyclists...) wrt attitude..

me - 30, self employed (i.e too much time), not bad lookin' if i say so myself, into bikes, rallies, cars (obv... ) total petrolhead, v v v practical.

met lady #1. 32, OK job, own place in london, good atitude, organised, house proud (doing loads of DIY), 5' nothing, nice body (ok - so i'm shallow), looks a touch older than 32 though, into rallies, chilled out, happy to ride 6 hours to meet me in a field with beer... in the rain... no car, bit clingy, not a film watcher (I am....), redhead (oh baby )

met lady #2, 28, ok ish job (she's not interested in it), own place in herts, less house proud, less motivated, more in common (league of gentlemen / billy connoly / TV in general, film watcher), sexier in a funny sort of way, looks her age, bike broken down atm (i diagnosed problem today and suggested fix) so dont know what shes like bike wise - but shes into biking in a fairly big way from the looks of her place...', not practical, but owns a drill and diy tools

now - the problem is - i know that #1 is better for me in the long run, as she is more of an organised type (i am not) but then i find #2 sexier and like more stuff in common - but also am worried that her lack of motivation will get me down (i am easily led like this).

i need to make a decision as im not one to two time, and its got to that (i cant ask this on a bike forum as they both might read such forums...)

i know its a weird q to ask you lot - but after yabbering for ages, i hope that you lot might feel that you 'know' me a bit, and that you can advise - a poll might be a bit tacky

more explanation to come as the queries come in..




apology - wrote this after a beer or three, needed to get it off my chest.

 

[pammy]

which one makes your hairs stand on end? That's the one to go for - practicality is irrelevant when it's affairs of the heart you're talking about

Who's to say either way if either would be the love of your life - but if it aint got any buzz then it's a waste of time even starting it. The buzz may go but it won;t start if it's not there in the first place

hth

 

[GrahamC230K]

Maybe instead of thinking which lady would you like to be in a relationship with, think which one you could stay good mates with?

 

[Brian WH]

My question is more basic. Why either of them?

As Pammy said, if you don't know between them then perhaps the spark isn't there mate. Perhaps another model would suit you better eh. Then keep looking, but enjoy their company until you know.

 

[guydewdney]

hmm - the tyhings you post up after a few beers - keyboards ought to have breathalizers

#2 i reckon i could be mates with, and is sexier

ive only been on a couple of dates with them - so dont believe that 'spark' will be there yet, but think a lot about #2 not so much about #1

guess that says it really....

a mate i was nattering to last night on msn said that i was still to messed up from the last relationship and should take time out to assess what i want out of life

 

[andy_k]

echoing what other people have said, you won't need to ask anyone when you meet the right person

Don't rush anything - being single isn't so bad

Andy

 

[Ian B Walker]

For a moment sit there and think what life would be like 10 years hense with both of them. Kids, mortgage, in laws, current transport and future modes of transport etc. Can you see either of them fitting in with your prespective? I totally agree with what has already been posted, no buzz, no chance. Been married 33 years now and still get the buzz from the missus. Think that says it all. Shop around a little and as Brian says, enjoy what you have at the moment.

 

[R2D2]

Someone once said to me "its not could you live life with them, it's can you live without them".

When being without them does your head in, your getting there! I agree with what everyone else says take it slow. Sounds like its early days yet anyway.

 

[mapleleaf]

I read somehwere that that you should adopt the approach of being friends first, and if you later become more romantic thats just fine, if not you can still be friends (hopefully) . I agree with the others though .. just take your time and enjoy life. You will know when you meet the right one.

 

[Sp!ke]

Hmmmm a bit of a dillemma ...

Personally I'd keep seeing them both and keep sampling others until you find that spark.

Don't listen to me mind as have been hopeless with relationships up until my current - future ex-wife. (that WAS a joke btw) sometimes she reads these threads

BTW, which biker dating agency is this? Not interested myself currently but I might know some people that are.

I was at the Wozwolf rally this weekend up in Newark - I now think this is the best Rally of the year second only to Gallybaggers on the IOW. Recon I'll be going up to one in October but I'm currently (still) a little vacant and can't remember its name right now. LOL

 

[Alps]

get a #3 mate!

 

[portzy]

Guy?, I've got to agree with a couple of earlier replies. 3 months on is, in my 49 year old opinion, far to early to make a descision on commitment. Your heads still in a whirl, believe me. Now, as Pammy said, you WILL know when the right girl comes into your life. It will be like an electric shock that you were not expecting rather like the one you get from the static of a 70s' Ford Escort velour seat as you get out . You'll think, 'bl***y 'el', what was that!!!!, all yer' warning lights will come on and, well, she will be the one. By all means keep seeing the two you have already but dont commit if the spark 'aint there. You never know whats round the corner.

 

[frog1520]

Can we have the poll after all?

 

[Ian B Walker]

It will be like an electric shock that you were not expecting rather like the one you get from the static of a 70s' Ford Escort velour seat as you get out . You'll think, 'bl***y 'el', what was that!!!!, all yer' warning lights will come on

Just make sure that she is not called Mercedes

 

[PJH]

Just make sure that she is not called Mercedes

Or Portia, perhaps.

 

[guydewdney]

they are BOTH called sarah...

agreed abotu the head spin comments - but chicks find this difficult to accept in men (imho)... felt a bit 'smothered' by all the hugging / arm holding / hand holding stuff... hmmm.

 

[NormanB]

Guy - if you decide to cast your net further and collect option 3, may I congratulate you on choosing women of the same name - this is a really good strategy. Top tip do not choose all with the same birthday and also work out the Christmas Day strategy early.

 

[WLeg]

both, just not at the same time !!

 

[andy_k]

both, just not at the same time !!

dunno....everyone just might enjoy themselves - them that don't ask don't get

Andy

 

[Paul Grainger]

...yeah... now, both AT the same time might be enough to get the 'electric shock' sensation......