brucemillar
MB Enthusiast
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2010
- Messages
- 8,661
- Car
- C55 AMG Wagon - W124 300te 4matic Wagon - BMW 4.8is X5 E53 - SWB Pajero 3.5 V6 24v
If you are of a nervous disposition then please do not read on:
Yesterday (Yes I know it was the 1st April) I went with my wife and two teenage daughters to 'visit' IKEA in Lakeside. We arrived just after 13:00 and managed to get out just before 17:00.
Dear God, it was hell in there. I saw things that no man should have ever have to witness. I was forced to watch as Mrs M picked up IKEA branded cordless tools, and said stupid things, like "you don't have any of these". "Thank f*ck for that". I mumbled back"
We then had to visit the IKEA Cafe. Christ almighty. This is where my feet left the ground and I was carried forward in swelling mass of humanity, all intent in getting hold of the 'free' tea & coffee. No queuing system is employed in the Cafe and worse still no Marshals were evident. It was like being in a Medieval Pilgrimage. I had absolutely no control over where I would be carried to, or where we would end up. How we all arrived at the same table is a miracle.
Then, just as we headed to the exit. The very worst that can happen to any human happened!! They had several HUGE SALE!!! Signs blocking our path. An hour, a whole hour, then spent looking at broken stuff that nobody wants anymore. Junk, the same as you would find dumped down a Country Lane on a wet foggy day, smelling of wee and damp. Rubbish!!!
But it is "Reduced" rubbish, it is, "in the sale" rubbish. At one point I spotted Mrs M, like a lioness dragging off some food to her hungry cubs, but it was a three legged table. Seriously.... I kid you not.. A f*ck*ng three legged table, that was reduced from £xxxx to £yyyy.
I am home now. Last night I slept poorly, despite deliberately overdosing on Tramadol. This morning it feels like it must have happened, but maybe to somebody else. I am still shaking.
Do not, no matter what the temptation??? go with your other half to an IKEA. Stay at home and play with 240v mains electric, or try and build a bomb from engine parts and airbags using only your teeth.
Be safe people. Be safe..
Yesterday (Yes I know it was the 1st April) I went with my wife and two teenage daughters to 'visit' IKEA in Lakeside. We arrived just after 13:00 and managed to get out just before 17:00.
Dear God, it was hell in there. I saw things that no man should have ever have to witness. I was forced to watch as Mrs M picked up IKEA branded cordless tools, and said stupid things, like "you don't have any of these". "Thank f*ck for that". I mumbled back"
We then had to visit the IKEA Cafe. Christ almighty. This is where my feet left the ground and I was carried forward in swelling mass of humanity, all intent in getting hold of the 'free' tea & coffee. No queuing system is employed in the Cafe and worse still no Marshals were evident. It was like being in a Medieval Pilgrimage. I had absolutely no control over where I would be carried to, or where we would end up. How we all arrived at the same table is a miracle.
Then, just as we headed to the exit. The very worst that can happen to any human happened!! They had several HUGE SALE!!! Signs blocking our path. An hour, a whole hour, then spent looking at broken stuff that nobody wants anymore. Junk, the same as you would find dumped down a Country Lane on a wet foggy day, smelling of wee and damp. Rubbish!!!
But it is "Reduced" rubbish, it is, "in the sale" rubbish. At one point I spotted Mrs M, like a lioness dragging off some food to her hungry cubs, but it was a three legged table. Seriously.... I kid you not.. A f*ck*ng three legged table, that was reduced from £xxxx to £yyyy.
I am home now. Last night I slept poorly, despite deliberately overdosing on Tramadol. This morning it feels like it must have happened, but maybe to somebody else. I am still shaking.
Do not, no matter what the temptation??? go with your other half to an IKEA. Stay at home and play with 240v mains electric, or try and build a bomb from engine parts and airbags using only your teeth.
Be safe people. Be safe..