So so so so Much Performance

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Eddie Hitler

New Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2015
Messages
11
Location
Leeds In Gods Own Garden That Is Yorkshire.
Car
E63 AMG 2014, Fiesta ST3 2014, Audi A2 2004
I've had the big motor a couple of weeks and today is the 1st time I've driven it any distance tbh.

A run across to the dark side (Lancashire) on the M62 for work. Usually I'd have gone in the fiesta but I was taking 3 clients out for lunch.

The Accelaration is truly shocking when I was on my own, I feared they would fall out with me if I gave them even just a little squirt.. In AMG Sport+ It's More so, it had me laughing out loud and the up change under full load, accompanied by the loud crack noise from the exhausts, I could feel the Captain stirring and starting to get Angry:D.

Only short bursts due to the heavy traffic but enough to make me realise I'd made a good choice.

I'm happy. I've had a couple of quick cars but only 1 compared to this & that wasn't as quick if I'm honest.

I had to get shut of that after the Mrs found out, me and my Lap Dancer young girlfriend used to go out dogging in it. She spent more time in it than the Mrs.

I've had a colourful life. :wallbash::crazy::D;):bannana::cool:
 
Any video footage to add some colour for the rest of us....?
 
Any video footage to add some colour for the rest of us....?


Funny you should say that my friend. None of the dogging footage unfortunately, well not that I know of. Ha ha.......................but

You know where they say the best way to make a film more believable is to draw on true life events and real characters (then deny it at the end of the film)?

Well, I've a pall in London who's mate wrote a film script and it got commissioned. So when I'm telling him about my crazy life at that time, giving it Billy Big Suds.


I've got this Bird 20'years younger, she's mental, blah blah blah, a switch hitter into girls as well as fellas, we blast about in this new Motor, A Black XFR. He's telling his mate all of it. I didn't know.

Imagine my surprise when given forgiveness of the good lady wife and let back home, my London pal texts me, "I've got a film for you to watch, it's gone straight to DVD. Get it". So as me and the Mrs sit down to watch it within 10 mins I know the main character is describing me and the mental bird. The Mrs knows as well. She's seen all the photos and videos, the messages the lot!

Just when I want the back of me sofa to open up and drag me in Nania. I could feel the wife's eyes burning into the side of my head. This is bad. V bad.

Then the camera is in main characters car behind him as he zips along. Oh Fock me that dash looks familiar.

When the camera zooms in from outside the car. I felt a bit sick. Not only was it a black XF but the exact model a black XFR. The Millwall *******s!!!! Stitched up.

The Mrs had the DVD out within seconds and the car went weeks after.

Did I tell you I've had a colourful life. :wallbash:
 
I was just interested in the truly shocking acceleration :dk:

Reminds me of wiring a chrome rimmed voltage gauge into my 1st ever car (1972 model). I found a wire that became +12v with the ignition on. Only problem was I had hooked it into the LT wire to the coil. Still don't understand to this day why but if you touched the gauge with the engine running it was "truly shocking".
 
Are you still married?

This story reminds me of my youth.
 
At last some serious humour.
Thanks for being normal.

Peter , John and I will join you for a drag race one day.
 
I think you may have posted that by mistake. We don t want to know what happens behind closed doors.
But you enjoy yourself, I'll just try to hit the limiter now and again , that's enough fun for me ...
 
Once you have finished drag racing I will join you for dogging lol
 
I use a 2012 Clio estate for dogging as it has a bit more room in the back than the CLS. We have a custom made cage to restrain her and just about to fit winter tyres so the snow wont stop us getting up the hills into the forests.
She can be a bit of a filthy bitch at times and really will sleep with anyone. Its her habit of eating gelatinous animal remains and excrement of unidentified sources that is the problem.
The picture is a few months old now and she is beginning to mature a bit more. Not hefty yet but certainly well built.
IMG_20150911_150429_zpsvjkdfcnx.jpg
 
Last edited:
notsofast said:
I was just interested in the truly shocking acceleration :dk: Reminds me of wiring a chrome rimmed voltage gauge into my 1st ever car (1972 model). I found a wire that became +12v with the ignition on. Only problem was I had hooked it into the LT wire to the coil. Still don't understand to this day why but if you touched the gauge with the engine running it was "truly shocking".
Reminds me of an occasion during my youth when I had a Triumph Bonneville. After doing some work on it I set off down the road, only to be disappointed at how rough it was. "Perhaps one of the plug leads isn't on firmly", I thought to myself as I reached down to check. .,£&@~€%#$¥{... Bystanders gave me scores of 5.9, 5.7, 5.8, 5.5 and 6.0
 

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