Spinal
MB Enthusiast
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2004
- Messages
- 4,806
- Location
- between Uxbridge and the Alps
- Car
- x254, G350, Duster, S320, Mach1, 900ss and a few more
I'm too lazy to go and dig up that thread,.... the one thats eons old about the chav test, but I'll post this anyways (sorry about the '>' I got this as a forward):
Begin forwarded message:
> Subject: Sunderland Earth Quake
>
> The funniest email I have had for a while. It’s a variation on an old
> theme with some great updates included to take account of changing
> times J
>
>
>
> SUNDERLAND ECHO DISASTER APPEAL
>
>
> As you are probably aware a massive earthquake measuring 5.8 on the
> Richter scale struck Sunderland in the early hours. At the epicenter
> in Pennywell, victims were seen roaming around aimlessly muttering
> "wheeys keeys are theese". The earthquake decimated the entire area
> causing about 30 quid worth of damage. Several priceless collections
> of ashtrays from the Balearics and Tenerife were damaged beyond
> repair.
>
> Three historic areas of burnt out cars, some over seven years old were
> disturbed. Many locals were awoken before their Giro's arrived. The
> Sunderland Echo reported that hundreds of locals were confused,
> bewildered and still trying to come to terms with the loss of
> Ladbrokes. One resident a Miss Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of
> six said "It was a shock to my little Chardonnay Mercedes. She came
> into my room crying and put me and Winston off our stroke but my
> youngest two Tyler Morgan and Brooklyn Romeo Rainbow luckily slept
> through it all. I was still shaking whilst watching Trisha the next
> day".
>
> Apparently looting, mugging and car crime did carry on as normal. The
> Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of lager into the
> area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching
> through the rubble and have recovered large amounts of belongings
> including Benefit Books, jewellery by Elizabeth Duke at Argos and
> finest bone china from Mad Harry's.
>
> HOW CAN YOU HELP?
>
> This appeal is to raise money for food and clothes parcels for those
> caught up in the disaster. Clothing is urgently needed and amongst the
> most sought after items are;
>
> · Fila or Burberry Baseball Caps
>
> · Kappa Tracksuit Tops (his and hers)
>
> · Adidas Trackie Bottoms 3/4 length,
>
> · White Socks
>
> · Rockport Boots
>
> · and anything else from the Donnay shop
>
> Food parcels must take into consideration local tastes and should
> include Micro Meals, Pot Noodles, Baked Beanz, Super Noodles, Sausage
> Rolls and Greggs pasties for the babies. Special brew or Thunderbird
> would also be gratefully received.
>
> Every little helps. Remember:
>
> · 22p buys a biro to help fill in a compensation form
>
> · £2.00 buys chips with curry and blue Panda pop for a family of
> nine
>
> · £5.00 buys 20 B&H and a box of Swan Vestas to calm the nerves
> of a grieving ten year old
>
> Please don't send tents for shelter as the sight of posh accommodation
> is unfair on the residents of Hendon and Southwick.
>
> THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP
>
>
Regards,
Begin forwarded message:
> Subject: Sunderland Earth Quake
>
> The funniest email I have had for a while. It’s a variation on an old
> theme with some great updates included to take account of changing
> times J
>
>
>
> SUNDERLAND ECHO DISASTER APPEAL
>
>
> As you are probably aware a massive earthquake measuring 5.8 on the
> Richter scale struck Sunderland in the early hours. At the epicenter
> in Pennywell, victims were seen roaming around aimlessly muttering
> "wheeys keeys are theese". The earthquake decimated the entire area
> causing about 30 quid worth of damage. Several priceless collections
> of ashtrays from the Balearics and Tenerife were damaged beyond
> repair.
>
> Three historic areas of burnt out cars, some over seven years old were
> disturbed. Many locals were awoken before their Giro's arrived. The
> Sunderland Echo reported that hundreds of locals were confused,
> bewildered and still trying to come to terms with the loss of
> Ladbrokes. One resident a Miss Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of
> six said "It was a shock to my little Chardonnay Mercedes. She came
> into my room crying and put me and Winston off our stroke but my
> youngest two Tyler Morgan and Brooklyn Romeo Rainbow luckily slept
> through it all. I was still shaking whilst watching Trisha the next
> day".
>
> Apparently looting, mugging and car crime did carry on as normal. The
> Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of lager into the
> area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching
> through the rubble and have recovered large amounts of belongings
> including Benefit Books, jewellery by Elizabeth Duke at Argos and
> finest bone china from Mad Harry's.
>
> HOW CAN YOU HELP?
>
> This appeal is to raise money for food and clothes parcels for those
> caught up in the disaster. Clothing is urgently needed and amongst the
> most sought after items are;
>
> · Fila or Burberry Baseball Caps
>
> · Kappa Tracksuit Tops (his and hers)
>
> · Adidas Trackie Bottoms 3/4 length,
>
> · White Socks
>
> · Rockport Boots
>
> · and anything else from the Donnay shop
>
> Food parcels must take into consideration local tastes and should
> include Micro Meals, Pot Noodles, Baked Beanz, Super Noodles, Sausage
> Rolls and Greggs pasties for the babies. Special brew or Thunderbird
> would also be gratefully received.
>
> Every little helps. Remember:
>
> · 22p buys a biro to help fill in a compensation form
>
> · £2.00 buys chips with curry and blue Panda pop for a family of
> nine
>
> · £5.00 buys 20 B&H and a box of Swan Vestas to calm the nerves
> of a grieving ten year old
>
> Please don't send tents for shelter as the sight of posh accommodation
> is unfair on the residents of Hendon and Southwick.
>
> THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP
>
>
Regards,
