Teenagers Party

[Beetnik]

We are at the Take That concert.

Obviously a family unable to discern good from bad - so a definite no no.

 

[neilrr]

My very responsible neighbours allowed their teenage kids to have a party. Both are good...but as others have said, the muppets they attracted made it a different story. Noise, disturbing the good willed neighbours, cigarette ends everywhere and drunk yoofs attempting to find their way home. Not in my house.

Hardly the end of the world though is it?

 

[Shude]

http://www.mbclub.co.uk/forums/ot-off-topic-forums/80325-daughter-wants-party.html

Probably worth a quick read!

 

[Beetnik]

Doesn't need FaceBook - I recall a party at Johnny Byron's - must have been in 1968. Johnny's house was attached to the general store his mum and dad ran. They sold, inter alia, bread, bacon, biscuits, cigarettes, beer, wine and whiskey. The door between the house and the shop was unlocked.

Nice party. Needed a full restock of the shop the next day though.

And another at Dave Topley's. 'Fine' said mum and dad but no smoking in the house. So no ash trays provided... which was a pity for the italian wood fireplace which was the recipient of everyone's buts.

I'm only thirty miles away - I'll keep an eye on the place for you if you go ahead and agree.

 

[W210 E55]

tell them the neighbours are watching and will call the police if its out of hand,

(do get a neighbour to keep a discreet eye on things though)

 

[jonnyboy]

David, don't do it.
My more-sensible-by-the-day 17 yr old daughter went to a party a couple of weeks back, her best friend. The group she hangs with are very "level" from what we can tell. We okayed it as the parents were to be present. Party was taking place in the garden, end of cul-de-sac house. Light booze allowed.
I arrived at the allotted time to pick her up, she was shaken and upset. Friend's dad was waiting for the Police and an ambulance as he'd been smashed over the head with a bottle as he and a couple of neighbours tried to eject some gatecrashers, the daughter being unable.
Some complete moron thought it was hilarious to sneak to the back door every time someone went into the house for the loo and chuck one of the respectfully-removed shoes over the fence, either into the neighbours garden, or onto the verge of the m3
So as i got there there were several hopalong-cassidies in stiletto (singular, trying to hop around where the other oxygen-thieves had decided to smash a load of bottles just outside the exit gate.
Facebook got the blame, but not the girl who had the party's page/wall/whatever the hell you have on facebook. Seemingly it was a comment from a sibling of an invited partygoer who stuck something up like "yay my hated sister has gone out thank god, she's gone to a massive party at such and such's house on such and such a street......"

Mental.

On the up-side, being selfish, no way will any party, with our blessing or behind our back ever happen here according to number 1 daughter, still got the hump about it now she has.

 

[Ted]

Please do it. It'll be fine.
Can my biker mates come too?
I've just tweeted it and put it on Facebook.

Could I just have your postcode for my satnav?

 

[davidjpowell]

Please do it. It'll be fine.
Can my biker mates come too?
I've just tweeted it and put it on Facebook.

Could I just have your postcode for my satnav?

Of course you can, - they will be welcome. DN1 3HX

 

[davidjpowell]

For everyone (apart from Ted) the party is not happening. I am public enemy number one, but can live with that.

Alas it's costing me a £40 train ticket for the boy to and see his dad for the weekend, but that could be a bargain compared to the consequences.

Thanks to Beetnik (and SweatPea - I'll reply seperately to your PM) for their offer. It's not fair on you, and looking at the stories on here it can still go wrong.

 

[Ade B]

Teenager's party.....

We are at the Take That concert

Its a topsy turvy world

 

[snoop51]

Both my teenagers have had parties at our house. Both with explicit instructions any breakages will be paid for in full (over years if necessary). We started off with parties in the garden, us adults in the house (downstairs loo is just inside the back door). They have since had parties when we have been away for the night/weekend/2 wks holiday.

We had a couple of boisterous teens at the first one who were ejected by myself and told to never return (one tried changing t shirt and re-entering but 12 yrs in the Army makes you wise to such trickery). We had 1 fight outside the house 2 youths only, one banging of heads together at high speed assisted by myself soon sorted that out. Never had any issues at any of the other parties, supervised or not, but then they all think I'm a nutter and will hunt them down to the ends of the Earth (I can't think what gave them that impression)

My kids ask us if it's OK, they know the answer will be yes but the also know there will be repercussions if things get out of hand. They always have to go and ask the neighbours if they mind, they now only invite a few friends around, no more mega parties they've outgrown them at 18 & 19 yrs old. Neither of them like the responsibility of looking after the house, they always clear up usually before we get home or the following morning.

It does of course help to have understanding neighbours who both understand they have our permission to come around and bang some heads together if it gets too loud. Oh and Grandad drives past every couple of hours (as far as they are concerned anyway)

I would say though first party, never unsupervised, adults stay in the background as backup if needed (it helps if you organise a couple more adults who understand they are backup too). You must keep a close eye on proceedings without being in the midst of the party, but also making your presence known to all and sundry. You set absolute numbers allowed and do NOT let any more enter for any reason. You get your kids to go see the neighbours the week before so they can organise soundproofing or go out for the night. Finally you rule with an iron fist, any hint of trouble you jump on it like a dictator trying to quell an uprising, eject all trouble causers instantly with no reprieves.

Once you have done the above you MUST make the party holder clean and tidy all area's that their friends have had access to. This gives them an idea of how much of a pain holding parties can be and IME has the added bonus that all future parties have been initially smaller and now non existent.

 

[snoop51]

Having said all of the above no way would I have let the first party be unsupervised.

 

[Gucci]

Hardly the end of the world though is it?

Correct. Not the end of the world. Nor are tailgating, Jeremy Kyle, Humous, Fuel price rises or rust, but they're all irritating.

 

[Ted]

Of course you can, - they will be welcome. DN1 3HX

Fhaaaar!!!!!!!!

 

[DITTRICH]

£40 rail ticket and a bit of stick vs armageddon.
Sounds like a bargain to me.
But I suspect that you already knew the answer and just wanted some backup advice.

 

[rossyl]

David, don't do it.

...

Friend's dad was waiting for the Police and an ambulance as he'd been smashed over the head with a bottle as he and a couple of neighbours tried to eject some gatecrashers, the daughter being unable.

...

Facebook got the blame, but not the girl who had the party's page/wall/whatever the hell you have on facebook. Seemingly it was a comment from a sibling of an invited partygoer who stuck something up like "yay my hated sister has gone out thank god, she's gone to a massive party at such and such's house on such and such a street......"

This is the main problem with any teenage party gatecrashers and facebook. Obviously facebook can result in gatecrashers...but that's not always the case.

Some girl, or boy, will hang out with the "wrong crowd" in order to try and seem cool. This wrong crowd probably won't care one bit for the person with whom they are apparentlf friends with and at any given opportunity do whatever they please that benefits them the most...and of course lives up to, and betters, their reputation as being "bad".

I was at a party (many years ago now!) where this exact thing happened. One of the girls invited her "boyfriend" (read 5 years older, a serious attitude problem, school drop-out, driving a Fiesta with go-faster stripes). Some teenage girls have a tendency to do such things. The girl whose house it was had no idea till this scrote turned up at the door. To avioid embarrassment they were let in.
Long story short - this guy went inside the house to use the toilet (it was a garden party) and didn't return. When the parents went in they discovered that he'd stolen two laptops, any money left lying around AND the keys to the car..AND the car.

Other than that scrote, and that incident, everyone was perfectly nice and well-behaved. But it just takes one "nice" boy/girl attempting to be "cool" to invite a moron over and ruin things.

Vent over. But beware. And don't be afraid to turn someone away rather than let them in your house.

 

[martin_a]

Might be worth following snoop's suggestion and allowing a bbq or something in the near future when you can be in the house. Get them to show you they can be responsible and that you do have some level of trust in them.

Build some bridges!

m.

 

[Charles Morgan]

Popularity is cheap. Respect is priceless. Your exercise of paternal authority is something that may well not be popular but will be respected when the indignation has blown off.

An expression of trust though - good idea.

 

[snoop51]

Another thing that just occurred to me was that we have always operated an open door policy with the kids friends. Our door is always unlocked if we are in they let themselves in and say hello, more often than not we have a chat before they go see whoever they came to see. We've partied with them too, played stupid games in the garden. Consequently they know us a lot more than a lot of teenagers know their friends parents. They also know it took 5 of them nearly an hour of mucking about to throw me in the hot tub, which although a stupid lark about showed them old fart though I am I can still hold my own.

I believe these things help a lot. I'm a great believer in the whole pride of Lion theory i.e. I'm the biggest baddest lion in my territory until someone bigger and badder comes along. It hasn't happened yet and that rule seems to work well with teenage boys. Girls are a different proposition and that's where SWMBO comes into play.

 

[Dieselman]

My very responsible neighbours allowed their teenage kids to have a party. Both are good...but as others have said, the muppets they attracted made it a different story. Noise, disturbing the good willed neighbours, cigarette ends everywhere and drunk yoofs attempting to find their way home. Not in my house.

That sounds pretty tame compared to the ones we used to have/attend/gatecrash...