The Construction Industry. The Truth.

Discussion in 'OT (OFF Topic) Forums' started by ringway, Jul 12, 2016.

  1. ringway

    ringway MB Club Veteran

    Messages:
    6,702
    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    Location:
    In a World of My Own.
    Car:
    Audi A6 Avant 3.0 Bi TDI - A Fantastic Car! Range Rover Supercharged - Lovely! Also R32 & S4.
    [​IMG]
     
  2. ash59fifty-uk

    ash59fifty-uk Hardcore MB Enthusiast

    Messages:
    3,608
    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2015
    Location:
    The shire
    Car:
    W204 C63, Ford Transit
    Architect is spot on!
     
  3. moonloops

    moonloops MB Club Veteran

    Messages:
    5,241
    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Location:
    :Location : Location
    Car:
    W204 C350 CDI AMG Sport
    Here's the rest missing from the original post:

    [​IMG]
     
    3 people like this.
  4. lisa110rry

    lisa110rry Hardcore MB Enthusiast

    Messages:
    517
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2013
    Location:
    Northwest England
    Car:
    1999 SLK Kompressor and a Honda CRV (the latter gone but not forgotten)
    "The" Quantity Surveyor Joke...

    The MD of a Construction Company lends £50 to his Project Manager, Construction Manager and Quantity Surveyor. Soon thereafter, the MD sadly dies. All the site people attend his funeral.

    As he passes by the coffin to pay his last respects, the Project Manager slips a £50 into the coffin. The Construction Manager does the same. The Quantity Surveyor, seeing this, slips in a cheque for £150, and removes the two £50s for change.
     
    2 people like this.
  5. lisa110rry

    lisa110rry Hardcore MB Enthusiast

    Messages:
    517
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2013
    Location:
    Northwest England
    Car:
    1999 SLK Kompressor and a Honda CRV (the latter gone but not forgotten)
    A consultant QS dies in a fishing accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band.

    Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says “Congratulations!”

    “Congratulations for what?” asks the QS

    Saint Peter says, “We are celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old.”

    “But that’s not true,” says the consultant. “I only lived to be forty.”

    “That’s impossible,” says Saint Peter, “we added up your time sheets!”
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. lisa110rry

    lisa110rry Hardcore MB Enthusiast

    Messages:
    517
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2013
    Location:
    Northwest England
    Car:
    1999 SLK Kompressor and a Honda CRV (the latter gone but not forgotten)
    A group of Quantity Surveyors and a group of Engineers take a train to a conference. Each Engineer holds a ticket. But the entire group of QS's has bought only a single ticket. The Engineers are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant QS's will finally get what they deserve.

    Suddenly one of the QS's calls out: "The conductor is coming!" At once, all the QS's jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The Conductor checks the tickets of the Engineers. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: "Ticket please!" One of the QS's slides the ticket under the door and the Conductor continues merrily on his round.

    For the return journey the Engineers decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they notice the QS's didn't buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the QS's announces again "The Conductor is coming!" Immediately all the Engineers race to a toilet and lock themselves in.

    All the QS's leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last QS enters the toilet he knocks on the toilet occupied by the Engineers and says "Ticket please!"


    And the moral of the story??

    Engineers like to use the methods of QSs, but don't really understand them.
     
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.