The Fifty Shades Effect...

Discussion in 'OT (OFF Topic) Forums' started by KillerHERTZ, Feb 12, 2015.

  1. KillerHERTZ

    KillerHERTZ Administrator Staff Member

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    BBC News - Fifty Shades of Grey 999 call spike expected by London Fire Brigade

    From a toaster? I mean, I can kinda understand a Vacuum cleaner, but a toaster?!? :eek:
     
  2. Minz

    Minz Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Be interesting to see what Spike has to say about this.
     
  3. bob6600

    bob6600 MB Club Veteran

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    I would charge the lot of them for wasting public resources
     
  4. Sp!ke

    Sp!ke Administrator Staff Member

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    ROTFL - why me? :D
     
  5. MD5

    MD5 Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    It will read better in a west country accent!:

    The missus bought a Paperback,
    down Shepton Mallet way,
    I had a look inside her bag;...
    T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

    Well I just left her to it,
    And at ten I went to bed.
    An hour later she appeared;
    The sight filled me with dread.

    In her left hand she held a rope;
    And in her right a whip!
    She threw them down upon the floor,
    And then began to strip.

    Well fifty years or so ago;
    I might have had a peek;
    But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
    She's eighty four next week!!

    Watching Mabel bump and grind;
    Could not have been much grimmer.
    And things then went from bad to worse;
    She toppled off her Zimmer!

    She struggled back upon her feet;
    A couple minutes later;
    She put her teeth back in and said
    "I am a dominator!!"

    Now if you knew our Mabel,
    You'd see just why I spluttered,
    I'd spent two months in traction
    For the last complaint I'd uttered.

    She stood there nude and naked
    Bent forward just a bit
    I went to hold her, sensual like
    and stood on her left tit!

    Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
    My God what had I done!
    She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
    "Step on the other one!!"

    Well readers, I can tell no more;
    Of what occurred that day.
    Suffice to say my jet black hair,
    Turned fifty shades of grey!!
     
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  6. Jeff666

    Jeff666 Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    I've heard B&Q are expecting a run on duct tape, zip ties and rope... Obviously a weekend of DIY.
     
  7. Spinal

    Spinal Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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  8. Howard

    Howard MB Club Veteran

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    Spikes the sex toy baron ;)
     
  9. DrFeelgood

    DrFeelgood MB Club Veteran

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    So that's where the forum name 'spike' came from, dread to think what the spike would be used for.
     
  10. camerafodder

    camerafodder Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Ahh good old duct tape. Turns no, no, no into hmm, hmm hmm
     
  11. Giantvanman

    Giantvanman Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Just wrong, that is. :D
     
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  12. st13phil

    st13phil MB Club Veteran

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    Or Ducati owners preparing for a long trip?







    :D
     
  13. Jeff666

    Jeff666 Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Quote from the Mail...


    We can confirm that the leaked memo was indeed a bit of fun. Both B&Q, the public and the media have been entertained over the past few days and we are looking forward to a big weekend. We would have confessed to this sooner, but our hands were tied.

    I'm loving the last bit! :D Quite a sense of humour!!!
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2015
  14. Spinal

    Spinal Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Oi! I'll let you know my duke has never seen a rope in it's life :p
     
  15. Giantvanman

    Giantvanman Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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    Do you use rohypnol instead then? Oh…………a Ducati. Sorry.:D
     
  16. st13phil

    st13phil MB Club Veteran

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    That's a bit like Homer's response to Bart when the latter says that "today has been the worst day of my life ". "No, son", says Homer, "it's been the worst day of your life so far".

    It's only a matter of time...



    ;) :D
     
  17. DSB SL AMG

    DSB SL AMG Hardcore MB Enthusiast

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