**
THE GEORDIE THERMOMETER
*
As our Southern friends whinge about a light dusting of snow and airports close, this reminded me of the differences of Northerners and Southerners
*
50 Degrees. Southerners turn on their heating. Geordies plant their gardens.
*
40 Degrees. Southerners shiver uncontrollably. Geordies Sunbathe.
*
30 Degrees. Southern cars will not start. Geordies drive with their windows down
*
20 Degrees. Southerners wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. Geordies throw a t-shirt on (Girls start wearing mini-skirts)
*
10 Degrees. Southerners begin to Evacuate. Geordies go swimming in the North Sea.
*
Zero degrees. Southern landlords turn up the heat. Geordies have the last barbecue before it gets cold.
*
Minus 10 Degrees. Southerners cease to exist. Geordies throw on a lightweight jacket.
*
Minus 80 Degrees. Polar bears wonder if it’s worth it. Geordie Boy scouts start wearing long trousers.
*
Minus 100 Degrees. Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Geordies put on their long johns.
*
Minus 173 Degrees. Alcohol freezes. Geordies become frustrated because the pubs are shut.
*
Minus 297 Degrees. Microbiological life starts to disappear. The cows on Newcastle town moor complain of vets with cold hands.
*
Minus 460 Degrees. All atomic motion stops. Geordies start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands.
*
Minus 500 Degrees. Hell freezes over……….Sunderland qualify for Europe.
*
**
*
*
THE GEORDIE THERMOMETER
*
As our Southern friends whinge about a light dusting of snow and airports close, this reminded me of the differences of Northerners and Southerners
*
50 Degrees. Southerners turn on their heating. Geordies plant their gardens.
*
40 Degrees. Southerners shiver uncontrollably. Geordies Sunbathe.
*
30 Degrees. Southern cars will not start. Geordies drive with their windows down
*
20 Degrees. Southerners wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. Geordies throw a t-shirt on (Girls start wearing mini-skirts)
*
10 Degrees. Southerners begin to Evacuate. Geordies go swimming in the North Sea.
*
Zero degrees. Southern landlords turn up the heat. Geordies have the last barbecue before it gets cold.
*
Minus 10 Degrees. Southerners cease to exist. Geordies throw on a lightweight jacket.
*
Minus 80 Degrees. Polar bears wonder if it’s worth it. Geordie Boy scouts start wearing long trousers.
*
Minus 100 Degrees. Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Geordies put on their long johns.
*
Minus 173 Degrees. Alcohol freezes. Geordies become frustrated because the pubs are shut.
*
Minus 297 Degrees. Microbiological life starts to disappear. The cows on Newcastle town moor complain of vets with cold hands.
*
Minus 460 Degrees. All atomic motion stops. Geordies start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands.
*
Minus 500 Degrees. Hell freezes over……….Sunderland qualify for Europe.
*
**
*
*
