Satch
MB Enthusiast
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2003
- Messages
- 3,508
- Location
- Surrey
- Car
- S211 E320Cdi Avantgarde Estate & Toyota Land Cruiser
Some time ago I was going on about the notorious MOG in a really beaten up Red Nova with faded paint who curses our local roads. OK he is old and maybe it is his only source of mobility in a nearly public transport free area, but there are limits.
In this case the limit is a really evil tempered wholly selfish swine who leaves behind a trail of general chaos and damage to cars, walls, rubbish bins etc. Only reason there are no serious incidents is because he drives very slowly. Could be down to very poor vision but I doubt that: he is just hopeless and does not care. Anyone local who sees this mobile disaster area just gets out the way ASAP. Endless complaints to local Police.
Had not seen nor heard of him for a while and MOG had faded from memory. Until this morning, when Mrs S was giving me a lift to the station.
T junction where small local road meets a B road going through village. Along B road is a small parade of village shops. MOG has abandoned his car about two feet out from the kerb on the very corner of the T: he thus has the rear o/s of his car opposite a large Brake Bros refrigerated delivery van that is unloading on the B road and the front o/s opposite a car parked near the junction on the local road. This is despite the fact that local road is one way at that point.
He has completely blocked both roads to all but motorcycles & bikes. Where is MOG? Nowhere to be seen.
We are coming up local road and there is a small van at front of queue. Driver gets out and tells us he is going to find the *&^%$£" !"£$ who left his !"£$%^& car the !"£$%^& road. Fair enough. We wait. And wait. All the while traffic has backed up. We cannot turn around because local road is one way. Delivery van cannot move out the way because traffic is now backed up in all directions on the B Road and has blocked his exit route.
Van driver returns, seething fit to burst trailing behind him (very slowly) MOG.
Sure as fate, MOG tries to drive the wrong way down the one way road, misses parked car by inches but drives into front of van, all in slow motion. All this has taken nearly 10 minutes.
MOG is now shouting at van driver to get out of the way. Van driver is simply beyond words. Only upside is that traffic on B road now can move.
Against all my instincts I have to get out and try to get MOG to reverse before van driver starts trying to get details etc etc. Van driver asks me to be witness. Fine, OK , here is my business card, just get MOG out the way so we can all go. Things clam down.
MOG reverses back onto B road. And scrapes parked car along drivers door. Enter stage left female upset about parked car being damaged. She has a real go.
MOG is shouting back incoherently. Van driver offers to call Police. MOG is becoming very agitated. MOG threatens all sorts of unwise things.
On getting closer to his wreck I notice that MOG has a way out of date Road Tax disc: April 2005. And along with numerous dings & scrapes to body and bumpers a badly broken headlight that has clearly been like that for some time, cracked/broken light clusters, one windscreen wiper, rust scabs/ perforations all over the place, two near bald tyres, one with a big tear on the sidewall and rear exhaust box no longer has a tailpipe. Could that car possibly have a still valid MoT? No way.
Police then arrive responding to earlier calls about blocked road. MOG, as if by magic, turns into frail, weak, confused OAP being harrased by road rage van driver and evil she devil. Oh no. not having that crap from him so stick my oar in and offer comments on the state of his car, lack of Road Tax etc, the recent events and MOG's past history. Husband of upset female has turned up so by this time it is all turning into a circus.
MOG suddenly forgets his Mr Pathetic act, loses the plot, swears at everybody and joy of joys, kicks van driver!
At which point my ever so bad morning turned just sooo wonderful that it still keeps making me laugh. MOG was promptly arrested :bannana: :bannana: :bannana:
No doubt there will be some caution and trivial fines mitigated for age, stupidity etc because nobody can really be bothered but that car is bound for the crusher. And with any luck he is off the road for good.
In this case the limit is a really evil tempered wholly selfish swine who leaves behind a trail of general chaos and damage to cars, walls, rubbish bins etc. Only reason there are no serious incidents is because he drives very slowly. Could be down to very poor vision but I doubt that: he is just hopeless and does not care. Anyone local who sees this mobile disaster area just gets out the way ASAP. Endless complaints to local Police.
Had not seen nor heard of him for a while and MOG had faded from memory. Until this morning, when Mrs S was giving me a lift to the station.
T junction where small local road meets a B road going through village. Along B road is a small parade of village shops. MOG has abandoned his car about two feet out from the kerb on the very corner of the T: he thus has the rear o/s of his car opposite a large Brake Bros refrigerated delivery van that is unloading on the B road and the front o/s opposite a car parked near the junction on the local road. This is despite the fact that local road is one way at that point.
He has completely blocked both roads to all but motorcycles & bikes. Where is MOG? Nowhere to be seen.
We are coming up local road and there is a small van at front of queue. Driver gets out and tells us he is going to find the *&^%$£" !"£$ who left his !"£$%^& car the !"£$%^& road. Fair enough. We wait. And wait. All the while traffic has backed up. We cannot turn around because local road is one way. Delivery van cannot move out the way because traffic is now backed up in all directions on the B Road and has blocked his exit route.
Van driver returns, seething fit to burst trailing behind him (very slowly) MOG.
Sure as fate, MOG tries to drive the wrong way down the one way road, misses parked car by inches but drives into front of van, all in slow motion. All this has taken nearly 10 minutes.
MOG is now shouting at van driver to get out of the way. Van driver is simply beyond words. Only upside is that traffic on B road now can move.
Against all my instincts I have to get out and try to get MOG to reverse before van driver starts trying to get details etc etc. Van driver asks me to be witness. Fine, OK , here is my business card, just get MOG out the way so we can all go. Things clam down.
MOG reverses back onto B road. And scrapes parked car along drivers door. Enter stage left female upset about parked car being damaged. She has a real go.
MOG is shouting back incoherently. Van driver offers to call Police. MOG is becoming very agitated. MOG threatens all sorts of unwise things.
On getting closer to his wreck I notice that MOG has a way out of date Road Tax disc: April 2005. And along with numerous dings & scrapes to body and bumpers a badly broken headlight that has clearly been like that for some time, cracked/broken light clusters, one windscreen wiper, rust scabs/ perforations all over the place, two near bald tyres, one with a big tear on the sidewall and rear exhaust box no longer has a tailpipe. Could that car possibly have a still valid MoT? No way.
Police then arrive responding to earlier calls about blocked road. MOG, as if by magic, turns into frail, weak, confused OAP being harrased by road rage van driver and evil she devil. Oh no. not having that crap from him so stick my oar in and offer comments on the state of his car, lack of Road Tax etc, the recent events and MOG's past history. Husband of upset female has turned up so by this time it is all turning into a circus.
MOG suddenly forgets his Mr Pathetic act, loses the plot, swears at everybody and joy of joys, kicks van driver!
At which point my ever so bad morning turned just sooo wonderful that it still keeps making me laugh. MOG was promptly arrested :bannana: :bannana: :bannana:
No doubt there will be some caution and trivial fines mitigated for age, stupidity etc because nobody can really be bothered but that car is bound for the crusher. And with any luck he is off the road for good.
