todays bad joke

Discussion in 'OT (OFF Topic) Forums' started by andy_k, Sep 26, 2006.

  1. andy_k

    andy_k MB Enthusiast

    Apr 23, 2003
    Bexhill, East sussex
    Alfa GTV 3.0
    After volunteering to fight for his country in WW II, Zimmerman
    joined his unit and lined up for his uniform. As equipment was
    issued in strict alphabetical order Zimmerman found himself at
    the back of the queue. By the time he reached the desk all the
    uniforms had been issued. There were none left. Zimmerman was
    issued with a badge that said "soldier" in red letters."You
    didn't want a scratchy old uniform anyway," the quartermaster
    said. "Join the line for your rifle."

    Zimmerman joined the back of the rifle queue. When he reached
    the front Zimmerman found that all the rifles had been
    distributed and then, once again, there were none left. "You
    don't want to kill people anyway," said the quartermaster.
    "I'll issue you with a broom stick and you can shout Bang Bang!"

    "Thank you," said Zimmerman, and joined the queue for bayonets.

    Once again, on reaching the desk Zimmerman was disappointed.
    The quartermaster issued him with a lollipop stick with the
    advice that he should shout: "Sticky-sticky!" when using it.

    Within weeks Zimmerman found himself on the front lines
    shouting "Bang-bang!" for all he was worth. On his second day
    the German enemy began a mass advance. One by one Zimmerman's
    unit were killed or wounded until only Zimmerman himself
    remained standing.

    "Bang-bang!" he shouted, and was amazed to see his German
    foes still falling. Soon they began to overwhelm his trench
    and Zimmerman began to stab wildly with his lollipop stick.

    "Sticky-sticky! Sticky-sticky!" And astoundingly it worked.

    The enemy were dying at his feet. The survivors began to
    retreat. All, that is, with the exception of one man who was
    only half way across no-man's land and was still advancing
    slowly. Zimmerman took careful aim with his stick-rifle and
    calmly said; "Bang-Bang."

    The enemy soldier continued his advance. "Bang-bang!
    bang-bang! bangedy-bang-bang-bang!" Zimmerman yelled
    frantically. Still he came.

    Before he could reach the trench Zimmerman leapt up and
    ran at him with the lollipop stick. "Sticky-sticky!" he
    shouted. And then added "Stab-stab-stab!" for good measure.

    The enemy soldier refused to die and stared at Zimmerman
    defiantly. By now Zimmerman had had enough. "Wait a minute,"
    he said. "When I shouted 'Bang' your comrades died, but not
    you. When I engaged them in hand-to-hand combat with my
    lollipop stick and shouted "sticky-sticky!" they fell over dead, but not you. Why?"

    "I'm a tank, " replied Herr Zanker.
  2. PJH

    PJH MB Enthusiast

    Aug 5, 2003
    C180k for Wifey, Focus Ecoboost 6 speed
    The olde ones are the worst...

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