Upon finding a hair in one's pear and walnut chutney...

[MOCAŠ]

...what should one do?

• Just go ahead and eat it - it won't kill you?
• Dispose of the hair, but eat the rest of the chutney?
• Return the chutney to the victualler and request a refund?
• Demand compensation from the victualler in addition to a refund?
• Write a letter of complaint to the comapny that made the chutney?
• Report the victualler/company to the FSA?
• Mount a campaign of protest on the victualler's premises?
• Contact the London Evening Standard to draw attention to the find?
• Something else?

Serious question, having recently found a hair in my pear and walnut chutney. I know what I did, but what would you do?

 

[Dieselman]

Let the manufacturer know as they have a food standards issue that needs addressing.

I wouldn't eat the chutney.

 

[BigSilverEstate]

Throw away and use Branston

 

[LTD]

Just as well it wasn't bought at Tesco. It might have been a hare

I'd just bin it - life is too short to complain about a hair in your chutney. If you know the victualler well, a casual mention of it next time you are in would not go amiss and probably be as effective anything.




You could always photograph it and contact the Daily Mail .....

 

[KillerHERTZ]

Its a hair, hairs do not kill people.


At work im always getting free lunches as the Women in the office think that, at the stroke of midnight a product becomes Toxic (When the sell by Dates up).

 

[developer]

The more I read your stuff, the more I'm convinced your name is Wayne, you live in Hackney, and you're avin a giraffe at our expense .

 

[MOCAŠ]

you live in Hackney

Where?

Oh, you mean 'ackney.

 

[nick mercedes]

Serious question, having recently found a hair in my pear and walnut chutney. I know what I did, but what would you do?

I always assumed you were a man who liked a chutney.

If hairy chutneys are not your thing, you should complain with the utmost vigour.

 

[Satch]

Well it would depend.

Was the hair human, equine or that of the legendary chutney ferret?

 

[renault12ts]

Long and straight or short and...

 

[MOCAŠ]

Long and straight or short and...

Hmm, had it been the latter that would definitely have affected the outcome.

 

[brucemillar]

Buy more chutney. Eventually you may be able to craft a wig, knit a sweater, weave a suit. The opportunities are endless.


You could try and contact the chutney ferret that is missing the hair, but I fear that may prove unpleasant reading for any follow up thread.

 

[Charles Morgan]

I thoroughly deprecate the profusion of chutneys available commercially. I am quite certain proper chutneys cooked by the WI would not have hairs nor would they have silly ingredients.

 

[brucemillar]

I thoroughly deprecate the profusion of chutneys available commercially. I am quite certain proper chutneys cooked by the WI would not have hairs nor would they have silly ingredients.

You need to meet our local WI. Some of them must have been force fed boiled sweets from a catapult when younger. The rest clearly fought facial battles with shovels. Male pattern baldness has mutated to their female crowns.

Mary Queen of Cakes (or chutney) they are not.

 

[MOCAŠ]

the legendary chutney ferret?

the chutney ferret

Two mentions led me to search Google to find out what a chutney ferret was. Wish I hadn't...

 

[MOCAŠ]

I thoroughly deprecate the profusion of chutneys available commercially. I am quite certain proper chutneys cooked by the WI would not have hairs nor would they have silly ingredients.

I would say mine was produced through a semi-commercial endeavour (more on that later). As for silly ingredients, I hope you're not referring to pear and walnut - this was the most divine-tasting chutney I've ever experienced. So much so that I finished the jar in one sitting.

 

[LTD]

So much so that I finished the jar in one sitting.

So it was 'hair today, gone tomorrow' ?

 

[jaymanek]

Just in case im not the only thicko

A victualler is traditionally a person who supplies for the crew of the ship, food, beverages and other provisions on a vessel at sea.

 

[Harrythedog]

Throw the chutney away and claim for whiplash

 

[markjay]

...this was the most divine-tasting chutney I've ever experienced. So much so that I finished the jar in one sitting.

The hair is the secret ingredient.