Valid laws of the land

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recycled

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Feb 26, 2007
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1. It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
2. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
3. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.
4. Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.
5. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
6. In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.
7. In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.
8. In London, Freemen are allowed to take a flock of sheep across London Bridge without being charged a toll; they are also allowed to drive geese down Cheapside.
9. In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.
10. In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.
11. In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
12. In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.
13. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King; the tail, on the other hand, belongs to the Queen - in case she needs the bones for her corset.
 
1..
3. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.


But it is alright to kick someone's father into a coma because he didn't buy underage kids beer and get a few months. Talk about sorting out its priorities.

The only laws that seem to move with the times are trafffic laws.
 
But it is alright to kick someone's father into a coma because he didn't buy underage kids beer and get a few months. Talk about sorting out its priorities.

That's a matter of society and application/enforcement/punishment in the legal system rather than any particular issue with an old and obsolete lat about placement of postage stamps.
 
5. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
.


Are you trying to take the p**s (self censored)
 
Number 11 is wrong.

You can legally kill a scotsman within the York city walls with a bow and arrow. But not on a Sunday. Should apply to the rest of Yorkshire as well I say.

And I just love number 5.
 
Gonna make a mess of your paintwork then Malcolm .... ;)
 
Isn't football still illegal?
 
Number 11 is wrong.

You can legally kill a scotsman within the York city walls with a bow and arrow.

Think the Human Rights Act does for that one. However, in terms of lasting insult one of the churches in Chester has a tower with three clock faces. The side facing towards Wales is blank because the benefactor who funded the building so despised the Welsh.

But carefully consider the terrible implications of this gem:

Public Health Act 1936:

52 Care of sanitary conveniences used in common

(a) if any person injures or improperly fouls the convenience, or anything used in connection therewith, or wilfully or by negligence causes an obstruction in the drain therefrom, he shall be liable to a fine not exceeding level 1 on the standard scale.
 
Fancy a free trip to Oz?

In Sturminster Newton there is a bridge and on it is a plaque stating that anyone caught defacing the bridge will be transported for life....

Can I go Club Class please....................:bannana:
 

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