Druk
Gone but not forgotten - RIP
- Joined
- May 28, 2004
- Messages
- 5,300
- Location
- Not far from Edinburgh.
- Car
- 2011 S212 E350CDi. 1981 R107 300TurboDiesel.
(thanks Kev 
)
(1) When travelling by Underground or London Overground train it is considered impolite not to help anyone who is doing The Times crossword.
(2) Comments from the public are always welcome in Courts of law. When you start speaking, an usher will call "Silence in Court". This is in order that others may hear your comments.
(3) In London, you are encouraged to try a piece of fruit, free of charge from any open-air stall.
(4) Women are not allowed upstairs on buses; if you see a woman there ask her to descend.
(5) Try the famous echo in the British Museum Reading Room.
(6) It is customary to introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you on a London Underground train.
(7) London Barbers are delighted to shave customers’ armpits.
(8) If you are in a rush, it is considered appropriate to make your way to the front of any queue directly.
(9) In a traditional Fish and Chip shop you only take the food on display if you are in a rush. Otherwise, it is expected you will order your food and ask for it all to be cooked "to order".
(10) London street newspaper vendors are a really useful source of tourist information.
(11) The Circle line only runs in both directions in rush hour, outside these times you must travel clockwise.
(12) All London brothels display a blue lamp.
(13) If stopped by a police officer while driving in London, it is customary to greet him by smacking him on the back of the head.
(14) Ignore all left and keep right signs; they are political statements.
(15) As it is considered a polite greeting, be sure to ask anyone you see in London, "Is your hovercraft full of eels?"
(16) Shopkeepers and stallholders can easily break £20 and £50 notes. Don’t clutter your bag or purse with small change and notes.
(17) Members of the opposite sex often touch each other in public. A lack of public displays of affection is interpreted as rude and anti-social.
(18) Speakers Corner is situated directly opposite Buckingham Palace.
(19) Streaking is a traditional after-pub game, the British love it and will not take offence.
(20) A male bar-worker in England is known as a p and a female bar-worker a strumpet; you should feel free to address them by those names.
(21) Roundabouts work in an anticlockwise direction and at traffic lights you can turn left on a red light.
(22) Seat reservations are often essential on the Underground. Book your tickets at the kiosk, there will be a timetable near-by. First class carries a £2 supplement, but you get a separate cabin, with wider seats, pre-boarding, and complementary soft drinks.
(23) Keep all your underground tickets as they record your mileage on them. You can exchange the tickets in any newsagents for a underground mileage card - called the Oyster. Department stores like Harrods for example allow the use of the Oyster Card towards payment of goods - typically 10 miles - £1 discount.
(24) On the Underground escalators we stand on the left, the same side we drive our cars -- your public spirited gesture will enable rugby players to practice their moves as they commute.
(25) You will oblige your hotel chambermaid by hanging your mattress out of the window every morning.
(26) It advised that buses are actually like taxis, and that the driver is legally obliged to take you wherever you demand all you have to do is climb on and declare where you wish to be taken in a loud voice.
(27) Zebra parking places are freely available.
(28) On entering a railway compartment on any journey, make sure that you shake hands with everyone present and formally introduce yourself.
(29) There is a French widow in every hotel bedroom affording delightful prospects.
(30) Please feed the pigeons in Trafalgar Square, nobody else will.
(31) Harrods department store has a strict dress code for its customers - no suits, no smart shoes, no tights without holes or ladders.
(32) The security guards checking your bag at the entrance of museums etc. will believe you're celibate if they don't find at least 2 different varieties of condom or sex toys – you are advised to pack accordingly.
(33) To park near the Olympic venues double red lines indicate two hours free parking and the number of yellow lines on the kerbside indicate the number of rows of parking permitted.
(34) Some Underground stations such as Russell Square have stairs 'for emergencies only' but it is quicker to use them than to wait for the lift.
(35) London taxi drivers respect hard bargaining. Never pay more than half the price on the meter.
)(1) When travelling by Underground or London Overground train it is considered impolite not to help anyone who is doing The Times crossword.
(2) Comments from the public are always welcome in Courts of law. When you start speaking, an usher will call "Silence in Court". This is in order that others may hear your comments.
(3) In London, you are encouraged to try a piece of fruit, free of charge from any open-air stall.
(4) Women are not allowed upstairs on buses; if you see a woman there ask her to descend.
(5) Try the famous echo in the British Museum Reading Room.
(6) It is customary to introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you on a London Underground train.
(7) London Barbers are delighted to shave customers’ armpits.
(8) If you are in a rush, it is considered appropriate to make your way to the front of any queue directly.
(9) In a traditional Fish and Chip shop you only take the food on display if you are in a rush. Otherwise, it is expected you will order your food and ask for it all to be cooked "to order".
(10) London street newspaper vendors are a really useful source of tourist information.
(11) The Circle line only runs in both directions in rush hour, outside these times you must travel clockwise.
(12) All London brothels display a blue lamp.
(13) If stopped by a police officer while driving in London, it is customary to greet him by smacking him on the back of the head.
(14) Ignore all left and keep right signs; they are political statements.
(15) As it is considered a polite greeting, be sure to ask anyone you see in London, "Is your hovercraft full of eels?"
(16) Shopkeepers and stallholders can easily break £20 and £50 notes. Don’t clutter your bag or purse with small change and notes.
(17) Members of the opposite sex often touch each other in public. A lack of public displays of affection is interpreted as rude and anti-social.
(18) Speakers Corner is situated directly opposite Buckingham Palace.
(19) Streaking is a traditional after-pub game, the British love it and will not take offence.
(20) A male bar-worker in England is known as a p and a female bar-worker a strumpet; you should feel free to address them by those names.
(21) Roundabouts work in an anticlockwise direction and at traffic lights you can turn left on a red light.
(22) Seat reservations are often essential on the Underground. Book your tickets at the kiosk, there will be a timetable near-by. First class carries a £2 supplement, but you get a separate cabin, with wider seats, pre-boarding, and complementary soft drinks.
(23) Keep all your underground tickets as they record your mileage on them. You can exchange the tickets in any newsagents for a underground mileage card - called the Oyster. Department stores like Harrods for example allow the use of the Oyster Card towards payment of goods - typically 10 miles - £1 discount.
(24) On the Underground escalators we stand on the left, the same side we drive our cars -- your public spirited gesture will enable rugby players to practice their moves as they commute.
(25) You will oblige your hotel chambermaid by hanging your mattress out of the window every morning.
(26) It advised that buses are actually like taxis, and that the driver is legally obliged to take you wherever you demand all you have to do is climb on and declare where you wish to be taken in a loud voice.
(27) Zebra parking places are freely available.
(28) On entering a railway compartment on any journey, make sure that you shake hands with everyone present and formally introduce yourself.
(29) There is a French widow in every hotel bedroom affording delightful prospects.
(30) Please feed the pigeons in Trafalgar Square, nobody else will.
(31) Harrods department store has a strict dress code for its customers - no suits, no smart shoes, no tights without holes or ladders.
(32) The security guards checking your bag at the entrance of museums etc. will believe you're celibate if they don't find at least 2 different varieties of condom or sex toys – you are advised to pack accordingly.
(33) To park near the Olympic venues double red lines indicate two hours free parking and the number of yellow lines on the kerbside indicate the number of rows of parking permitted.
(34) Some Underground stations such as Russell Square have stairs 'for emergencies only' but it is quicker to use them than to wait for the lift.
(35) London taxi drivers respect hard bargaining. Never pay more than half the price on the meter.
