What is it like to be SERIOUSLY wealthy?

[Darrell]

No.

If you have raised them (or' train' as you put it) with the correct values, they will make the right decisions and grow up to be useful human beings.

If kids grow up to be bad adults, it is down to poor parenting - no excuses (unless they are born with mental issues).

Cobblers.
I’ve seen many cases where there are 2 children
Same parents, same schools etc but one child has turned out good and the other hasn’t. My wife and her brother are prime examples of that and I can give you at least a dozen other examples.

I’m the eldest of 3 and we went to the same nursery, infants and senior school. Our parents were together all the time with zero financial hardships. Our grandparents were still alive and in our lives. We were in the the Cubs and Scouts and my sister was in the Brownies and the Guides. We all participated in sports and lived in bungalowland in Hendon.

We all had a pretty much idyllic youth but we are all completely different and any of us could’ve quite easily taken the wrong path, something that me and my brother very nearly did.

 

[190]

I had electric gates, alarms & CCTV installed after having had several burglaries and a confrontation/tussle with intruders in my home. Yes, it might be a siege mentality or maybe paranoia but not because of feeling wealthy. Sometimes you have to protect your family.

That's fair enough and I would have done the same in the circumstances but there is is an alternative which is to live somewhere that siege mentality is not needed because of the absence of crime. I have lived in the same cul-de-sac of "executive houses" for 28 years and there has never been a single incidence of crime that I can recall. After the first few years I stopped setting the alarm and eventually pulled the fuse on it. The absence of a perceived threat brings me much better peace of mind than any amount of security measures. Even if I was to be burgled at some point the fact that I haven't worried about it for 28 years is priceless.

If one aspect of feeling wealthy is health then the absence of fear in your everyday life is another.

 

[Deleted member 113659]

No.

If you have raised them (or' train' as you put it) with the correct values, they will make the right decisions and grow up to be useful human beings.

If kids grow up to be bad adults, it is down to poor parenting - no excuses (unless they are born with mental issues).

Something that is 100% impossible to control as a parent is outside influences, the classic example being who they fall in love with. As the saying goes: Love Is Blind

 

[Flyinspanner]

I’ve no idea to the original question.

but I’m very willing to give it a try

 

[Bobby Dazzler]

No.

If you have raised them (or' train' as you put it) with the correct values, they will make the right decisions and grow up to be useful human beings.

If kids grow up to be bad adults, it is down to poor parenting - no excuses (unless they are born with mental issues).

It’s easy to say that when one’s own children grow up to be the adults we would all wish for, but it’s much less easy to say when children grow up to be “different”, despite their parents loving them dearly and doing everything they can to give their children the very best possible start to life.

Parent’s of course have a huge and irreplaceable influence on the way their children grow up but unfortunately other external factors can undo all of that love, care and parenting. That’s equally true for both the wealthy and the poor alike, and everyone in between.

I believe that there’s a parallel between becoming wealthy and having children who grow up to be the type of adult we would all wish for: they both require a balance of hard work, commitment, love, care and a whole heap of luck.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

We all had a pretty much idyllic youth but we are all completely different and any of us could’ve quite easily taken the wrong path, something that me and my brother very nearly did.

“Could’ve” but didn‘t. You and your brother nearly did, but your upbringing with guidance on moral standards helped you to avoid falling into the trap.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

Something that is 100% impossible to control as a parent is outside influences, the classic example being who they fall in love with. As the saying goes: Love Is Blind

Is love completely blind though? In my late teens I “fell in love” with a gorgeous girl who was even the GPO personality girl of the year at the time. All my mates were dark green with envy. But then she tried to persuade me to try drugs - I dropped her faster than a microphone.

 

[Darrell]

“Could’ve” but didn‘t. You and your brother nearly did, but your upbringing with guidance on moral standards helped you to avoid falling into the trap.

You reckon??

Peer pressure plays an enormous part and I notice that you didn’t comment on my previous paragraph.

2 kids, same parents with the same guidance. One child turns out good and the other turns out bad (It happens a lot). Blows your theory to bits doesn’t it?

 

[Darrell]

Is love completely blind though? In my late teens I “fell in love” with a gorgeous girl who was even the GPO personality girl of the year at the time. All my mates were dark green with envy. But then she tried to persuade me to try drugs - I dropped her faster than a microphone.

Why didn’t you try the drugs?

When my brother and sister were at uni they loved a puff and all that went with it. I didn’t.
Why?? Parental guidance??

They’ve also ended up hugely more successful than me.
Why?? Parental guidance??

 

[Deleted member 150136]

I completely disagree with that short sighted statement! Ever heard of the saying “you can lead a horse to water, but cannot make it drink”
Its the same with kids what are you meant to do chain them to a radiator or lock them in the basement, no they are their own person and they will do whatever they want no matter how much you train them, sorry if this offends its not my intent but its the facts!

But surely this statement rings true for extremely wealthy, wealthy, average and poor families.

Your point is moot.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

Says who??

Peer pressure plays an enormous part and I notice that you didn’t comment on my previous paragraph.

2 kids, same parents with the same guidance. One child turns out good and the other turns out bad (It happens a lot). Blows your theory to bits doesn’t it?

Just because children have the same parents doesn’t mean that they will turn out the same. It’s the type of parenting that moulds their futures. its not just about giving them lots of presents and sending them to the same schools, it’s about so much more than that. Giving them the same guidance isn’t necessarily the right thing to do. Everyone is different and needs directed guidance. Lack of that directed guidance doesn’t mean that a child will necessarily turn out to be a bad’n, just that there’s more chance of taking that wrong path you talked about.

Of course peer pressure plays an enormous part; selecting those peers is where parental influence and guidance plays a part too.

 

[190]

You only have to work in a school to see that there is some correlation between wealth and behaviour. While it's by no means any guarantee, the kids from relatively well off families from good areas are on average better behaved than those from poorer dysfunctional families in so called deprived areas * That is not at all to say that poorer kids are all badly behaved. I grew up relatively poor myself. The very small percentage of kids that you can see have the potential to end up in prison are generally from poor areas and have dysfunctional parentage.

The rich kids don't have it all easy as they have something to live up to. Being the son of someone rich and successful is a challenge in itself and they don't all match up to it.

* To quote Ted Simon I've learnt that a slum is defined not by the physical entity of the housing but by the people that live there.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

Why didn’t you try the drugs?

When my brother and sister were at uni they loved a puff and all that went with it. I didn’t.
Why?? Parental guidance??

They’ve also ended up hugely more successful than me.
Why?? Parental guidance??

I didn’t try drugs because it was blatantly obvious to me that they were potentially dangerous. It was my life choice.

 

[Darrell]

I honestly think that many parents think that they play a ‘I’m the parent and everybody else knows nothing’ role in their children’s upbringing. Maybe they are making up up for something or maybe it’s marriage number 2 and they’ve effectively got a second chance. It happens a lot.

My parents most definitely guided me but that’s all it was. Guidance.

I like to think that my life has been shaped by many factors.

 

[Deleted member 113659]

Is love completely blind though? In my late teens I “fell in love” with a gorgeous girl who was even the GPO personality girl of the year at the time. All my mates were dark green with envy. But then she tried to persuade me to try drugs - I dropped her faster than a microphone.

There will always be exceptions.

We all like to think/hope we are amazing parents. God forbid, if our children make wrong choices down the line it's bizarre to suggest it's was poor parenting.

If I make a mistake in any aspect of my life (which I do often) does that mean it's automatically my parents fault?

 

[Darrell]

I didn’t try drugs because it was blatantly obvious to me that they were potentially dangerous. It was my life choice.

So not parental guidance then?

 

[Darrell]

You only have to work in a school to see that there is some correlation between wealth and behaviour. While it's by no means any guarantee, the kids from relatively well off families from good areas are on average better behaved than those from poorer dysfunctional families in so called deprived areas * That is not at all to say that poorer kids are all badly behaved. I grew up relatively poor myself. The very small percentage of kids that you can see have the potential to end up in prison are generally from poor areas and have dysfunctional parentage.

The rich kids don't have it all easy as they have something to live up to. Being the son of someone rich and successful is a challenge in itself and they don't all match up to it.

* To quote Ted Simon I've learnt that a slum is defined not by the physical entity of the housing but by the people that live there.

Marco-Pierre Whites son!!

 

[Deleted member 65149]

So not parental guidance then?

As far as I’m aware, none of my six siblings tried drugs at any time, so possibly parental influence. More parental guidance from my mum who never even smoked or drank. My father did both but not to excess, unfortunately though he smoked enough to persuade my three eldest brothers that smoking was ok. Two of them are dead now, one from lung cancer.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

I honestly think that many parents think that they play a ‘I’m the parent and everybody else knows nothing’ role in their children’s upbringing. Maybe they are making up up for something or maybe it’s marriage number 2 and they’ve effectively got a second chance. It happens a lot.

My parents most definitely guided me but that’s all it was. Guidance.

I like to think that my life has been shaped by many factors.

I totally agree with the “I know best about my kids” statement.

I have no idea about the differences that a 2nd marriage can make. I know plenty people who have been married twice or more, including myself, but I‘m not aware of any differences in the ways they’ve raised children from different marriages. I’ll be delighted if my daughter from my second marriage turns out as well as my children from my first marriage (She’s well on the way. )

 

[Darrell]

As far as I’m aware, none of my six siblings tried drugs at any time, so possibly parental influence. More parental guidance from my mum who never even smoked or drank. My father did both but not to excess, unfortunately though he smoked enough to persuade my three eldest brothers that smoking was ok. Two of them are dead now, one from lung cancer.

You appear to be contradicting yourself.

My dad smoked but my brother and sister didn’t. I did.

Brother and sister both did drugs at uni. I didn’t touch drugs.

Parental guidance?? No.