When I become president...

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A few others that have come to mind:

“Barn find”

“Bodywork mint condition except for ____”

“Full service history” which translates as - there are some stamps in the book but they’re in no particular order.
 
“Full Mercedes history” yet it’ll have gaps of 35k between visits...
 
"Selling on behalf of a family member" - translates to - "I am a trader but I won't give you any warranty."
 
Haven't got time to fix what I'm pretending is a very minor issue.
 
Will bring back death sentence and conscription......

Yep way too many ads for junk that people cannot be bothered to put right....................
 
"No MOT but should pass another - just haven't had time....."
 
Or to twist it on it’s a$$, there’s just as many daydreamer buyers out there asking stupid questions they usually know the answer to or with unrealistic expectations :D

Eg they expect a ten plus year old car to be in the same condition as a new one - citing stone chips or general wear and tear as reasons to discount the price (when the majority will all be in the same condition)

“How much for cash today?” (as if cash is really any better than instant bank transfer, or that immediate money is so important to the majority of car sellers). If they needed money that quickly they’d sell to WBAC or similar.

“I really like your car but this other one is cheaper” - usually with twice the miles/half the spec/rubbish colour or needs £££s spent on it.

This is pretty accurate:

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:D
 
It’s only been the last few years that the 190E Cosworth has started to rise and they’re all around 30 year old!

When you say last few years, you mean for at least the last decade and a half or more? ;)
 
... 'immaculate condition...'
Followed by
'...some age related marks...!'
What the feck does that mean! Its either immaculate or it ain't!! Aaaahhhhh! :eek::eek::D:D
 
But that’s the thing, no used car can ever be described as ‘mint’ or ‘immaculate’, even brand new cars leave dealers with swirl marks and tar spots from transportation and PDI cleans etc. The moment a new car is used it will never be ‘mint’.

I’ve seen some lovely concourse cars and well preserved specimens but put them under some artificial light and you’ll always find imperfections however small. Likewise even the best restorations are very rarely factory perfect :)

It’s all about being realistic. There’s some superb condition old cars out there and plenty of three year old cars that have never seen a moment’s care in their lifetime. Not many people even wash their own cars anymore!
 
Went to look at an S-Class yesterday with my dads friend - which overall was a good car - but the drivers seat squeaked like mad “it’s literally just started doing that today” and the logbook was registered in someone’s name 140 mile away “Bought it off a trader friend of mine and never got round to putting it in my name”.

It wasn’t enough to put him off buying it though, they just couldn’t agree on a price (was due a B service and needed a thermostat) so the search continues.
 
"Selling on behalf of a family member" - translates to - "I am a trader but I won't give you any warranty."
As someone who gets the enviable job of being the one in our family who has to sell family members cars (which are mostly my dad and father-in-law) that line isn’t always incorrect..:(
 
But that’s the thing, no used car can ever be described as ‘mint’ or ‘immaculate’, even brand new cars leave dealers with swirl marks and tar spots from transportation and PDI cleans etc. The moment a new car is used it will never be ‘mint’.

I’ve seen some lovely concourse cars and well preserved specimens but put them under some artificial light and you’ll always find imperfections however small. Likewise even the best restorations are very rarely factory perfect :)

It’s all about being realistic. There’s some superb condition old cars out there and plenty of three year old cars that have never seen a moment’s care in their lifetime. Not many people even wash their own cars anymore!
...I'm seeing this in my business these days. I went to valet a car the other week and the lady had owned it since 2015 from an ex demo, she told me that she'd never washed it, not once! It came very clean and she was thrilled but it's becoming a more often occurance with my work.
...Not complaining mind! ;)
 
"Only three left." There's a reason for that.
"Rare." So is legionnaire's disease and I don't want that either.
"Needs a Service." Burial or cremation?
 
“Silent as an angel’s fart”


Sorry. That’s one of my sayings.
 
“Silent as an angel’s fart”


Sorry. That’s one of my sayings.
Like an angel's fart is what I say nearly every time that I open a bottle of Champagne.
 
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Saw an advert recently for a MGB automatic, said it was very rare, of course what they didn’t say was the reason they are rare is because no one wanted them.
 
Isn't there only one brown Allegro left in the world? Can't imagine that is worth much even still in comparison to most.
 
Isn't there only one brown Allegro left in the world? Can't imagine that is worth much even still in comparison to most.
There is an owners club

Advocating for the Austin Allegro since 1990. | Allegro Club International

Says it all , of course , that despite The New Avengers being sponsored by BL , neither Steed , Purdey , nor Gambit were ever seen in an All-Aggro ! Mind you , Steed's Broadspeed Jaguar and range Rover Mk1 , Gambit's XJS or Dolomite Sprint , and Purdey's MGB were all quite desirable cars , even if the same might not be said for her TR7 ...

And I know there's still a brown Vanden Plas version in my home town , still see it when back there !

I had the misfortune of owning one from new , for six months , after which I had had enough of weekly trips to the dealer and comparing notes with other disgruntled owners . After six months I'd had enough and managed to trade it for a one year old Audi 100GL , which was a brilliant car and it remained in the family for about 15 years .

Unsurprisingly , DVLA sheds no light on the fate of WLS 422R , a certain Astral Blue Allegro 1500 Special , though I remain uncertain what was special about it .
 
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