Will You Put Your Hand Up To A Stupid Moment?

[ringway]

As a child, say, 7-8 years old, we had a single-bar electric fire.
I looked at the bright orange bar and thought "I bet that gets hot".
I unplugged the fire and waited for it to cool down.
I then plugged it in again to see how long I could hold a finger on each end of the bar before I'd have to let go because of the increasing heat.
What I hadn't factored in to the equation was the 240 volts that coursed up both of my arms!
I had made a perfect human loop electrical circuit. Z!Z!Z!Z!Z!Z!

To this day I don't know how I got off that thing.

 

[ringway]

Before my time, but one bonfire night, after arguing with his brothers and sister, my Uncle (aged around 10 and being selfish and stupid) decided he would view his fireworks in private.

He locked himself in the outside toilet and started with the Catherine Wheel that he had nailed to the door which left him without an escape route.

I have been told that the flashing through the small side frosted glass window, the sound of the firework and his screams will never be forgotten by those who witnessed the event.

 

[Vilus]

About ten years ago I was working in South Africa with a shipping firm. During my first week in Durban, being an Englishman I ventured out in the Midday sun along with the mad dogs to explore. Seeking respite from the heat, I entered an air conditioned shopping mall to seek refreshment. My eye was drawn to a small restaurant staffed by Indians where they were serving litre steins of ice cold beer. I sat and ordered my beer and without even reading the menu noticed the specials board listing 'Chicken Tikka Masala, med & lg, and Tandoori Prawn, med & lg. I enquired whether rice was included in the price and was told 'no' with a very strange look from the waiter.

So being the ravenous glutton that I am I ordered a Lg. Chicken Tikka, a med. Tandoori Prawn, and asked for a plate of rice to accompany it. Sat enjoying the beer, cooling down and after about twenty minutes out comes my food..... a large platter of Pilau rice, a twenty inch Chicken Tikka Pizza and a fourteen inch Tandoori Prawn Pizza!

At this point I notice how busy the restaurant has become, and that I am the centre of attention sitting alone in a Pizzeria with enough pizza for six people and the biggest plate of rice you can imagine.

Was it sunstroke or the Indian waiters tha confused me??? Despite my best efforts I could only manage half of the two pizza, and the rice went untouched.

 

[Tinytots]

I replaced fork seals on my Eddie Lawson Z1100r rep(1985) while having a few glasses of whiskey's.

Everything went together fine and we caught the boat to Scotland and rode to the lake district.

It was later that night when we where sitting beside the camp fire in conniston camp site(having a whiskey) I noticed something strange about the front end of my bike. It was at least another 20 minutes when I realized I had put the front mud guard on the wrong way round. There was about 3 inches of guard at the rear of the wheel and about 18 inches at the front

 

[NDFR]

My first job was with the Civil Service and a training course required me to go into digs in Chester for three weeks. The £3 a day expenses sent me giddy and as I was smoking at the time I bought myself a nice lighter.

When it needed refilling I bought one of those canisters that had the assortment of adapters in the lid but was unsure which adapter to use. After giving it some thought I had the answer.

I would light the lighter and then push it onto the canister, surely as the gas enters the lighter the flame will get bigger?

ohhhh no, I chose the wrong adapter the gas overflow lit in the flame shot up the net curtains and left me feeling a bit stupid. The landlady took it in her stride and didn't throw me out but she did rib me for a few days. Bless her.

 

[marty359]

Years ago we rented a nice remote villa in Spain for 2 weeks. No one spoke great English at the local restaurant but we managed to order food by the usual English pointing at menu and other peoples food

Whilst waiting for our food the waitress bought out some small white cubes with what looked like jelly on the bottom and placed them in the middle of the table. "hmmm what's this, a starter" I said to the wife.

I popped a couple in my mouth and started to chew " cor they taste a bit sharp" I mumbled to the wife with my mouth full. 30 seconds later the waitress ran over "NO NO NO they for flies"

 

[grober]

Will You Put Your Hand Up To A Stupid Moment?

Is this what is known colloquially as "Doing a Nigella?" Or do class A drugs have to be involved?

 

[brucemillar]

Will You Put Your Hand Up To A Stupid Moment?

Is this what is known colloquially as "Doing a Nigella?" Or do class A drugs have to be involved?

Or a Gillian Taylforth.

 

[davidjpowell]

I had taken my cruiser (boat) down river for a quick jolly, but had omitted to open the raw water cooling valve. Engine overheated and blew the exhaust apart. A smart turn towards the bank and dropped the anchor. Waited for engine to cool down, repaired exhaust and crept back to moorings, stopping every 100 yards or so to let it cool down. Got back on my mooring and then realised that I had an outboard engine on the back specifically for this kind of emergency.
Luckily I was on my own and nobody else knew about my stupid moment - until now.

My parents had a 35 foot cruiser moored on the River Trent. After winter they went to use it for the first time and topped up the fresh water tanks.

They had been standing filling these for a long time when I heard a tinkling in the back cabin, that was in 6 inches of water.

Turned out that when the boat had been winterised they had loosened a pipe.... The maintenance guy after that started to leave a note on the engine controls...

There was a bonus, in that we discovered the bilge pump did not work, so were able to rectify this.

 

[Giantvanman]

Before my time, but one bonfire night, after arguing with his brothers and sister, my Uncle (aged around 10 and being selfish and stupid) decided he would view his fireworks in private.

He locked himself in the outside toilet and started with the Catherine Wheel that he had nailed to the door which left him without an escape route.

I have been told that the flashing through the small side frosted glass window, the sound of the firework and his screams will never be forgotten by those who witnessed the event.

Your uncle? His name isn't Dave by any chance.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

Far too many stupid moments to list, although I'm now of an age that I can officially call them 'senior moments'.

One of the earlier confessions reminds me of the time when I was about 10 and discovered electricity. I took the bulb out of a table lamp and persuaded my little sister to push down on the newly exposed pins with her finger! Her hair is still curly but my backside eventually recovered.

A few years later but still living with my parents, my older brother and I had come to an arrangement whereby the first one to leave home in the morning would take the car at the front of the narrow driveway rather than move cars around. One beautiful spring morning my brother's Mk1 Austin Healey 3000 was on pole position. The sun was shining and of course I wanted the wind in my hair so I took off the hardtop, put it in the shed then set off to work. The sky was completely cloudless when I arrived so I left his car to sunbathe topless. Later that morning a colleague came into the underground laboratory where I was working and said that the rain was tipping down. It took a good few minutes before I remembered how I had left the Healey. I overtook Usain Bolt on the way to the car park. Imagine my horror when I discovered that there was no hood! "Why carry a heavy hood around in the car when you have the hardtop fitted", was one of the later remarks my brother made. The carpets never dried out completely and 47 years later my brother still refuses to let me drive any of his cars.

 

[davidjpowell]

When I was a student, back in the days dial-up I decided to install an upstairs phone socket instead of extensions being dragged up.

I traced the wire into a cupboard on the landing. As I was cutting it with my pliers I thought this seems rather thick for a telephone. At that moment there was an almighty bang, and I flew back several feet.

Oops.

Never did install that socket.

 

[ringway]

Your uncle? His name isn't Dave by any chance.

No. Honestly.

 

[developer]

I've mentioned this before on here, however, a friend of mine, riding his DT175 Yamaha on a local road, craned his neck on full rearward stretch to ogle a couple of girls he'd just passed...

..and crashed into a skip, breaking both his legs :fail.

 

[Deleted member 6183]

I've mentioned this before on here, however, a friend of mine, riding his DT175 Yamaha on a local road, craned his neck on full rearward stretch to ogle a couple of girls he'd just passed...

..and crashed into a skip, breaking both his legs :fail.

But you've stopped limping now, yes?

 

[developer]

But you've stopped limping now, yes?

I had a CB200 when he had his DT175 - you couldn't pose on a CB200 .

 

[BTB 500]

I did things as a kid that would get the instant attention of a SWAT team nowadays.

I made a small cannon using the cylinder of a steam engine. Loaded with ground-up safety match heads, compacted by hammering down the piston. Rather over-did the charge - when I fired it in the back garden it flew back 15' with the recoil, straight through the (closed) French windows and onto the lounge carpet. Never found the ball bearing projectile that went the other way.

Liked making 'bangs' ... as these became more powerful I decided that setting them off underwater would be safer. Filled my mate's parents' wheelbarrow with water for this purpose. First test blew the bottom out of it

In fairness it was a bit rusty.

 

[Sanjeev1]

Many years ago I had a triumph Dolomite sprint, it had a nice lovely three spoke steering wheel which had a line of small holes in each spoke, well as I was driving along with Nowt better to do, I decided to stick my index finger of my left hand in one of the holes! Big mistake, as it got stuck! The more I tried to pull it out, the more swollen it got! I managed to pull up,calm down and teased my finger out! I tell you it took some teasing as that finger was well and truly stuck!!


Kind regards.

Sanjeev.

 

[ringway]

No one spoke great English at the local restaurant but we managed to order food by the usual English pointing at menu and other peoples food

As a young couple, (probably still teenagers) Mrs Ringway and I were holidaying in Majorca.
We'd eaten at around 6pm but were peckish at around 11.00 so went to a local bar and had a medium sized Spaghetti Bolognese each which was just the job.

After we finished the meal I decided to have another beer. The waiter came to the table and I asked for a San Miguel. He pointed to Mrs Ringway who's glass was still half full and she said "No thank you."



15 minutes later another Spaghetti Bolognese arrived for yours truly.
The twit thought I'd said "Same again."

 

[norfolkngood]

Many years ago in my first week at work I managed to do the same trick with the stapler (press on the bottom plate with thumb over the business end = ouch).

Even more stupidly, I was using WD40 to try and free off a seized nut and the can ceased to work... so I raised the can to eye level, peered at the actuator button and for absolutely no sane reason pressed it. Oh boy, did it work well enough then! Cue an eyeful of WD40 and flat-spin panic as through streaming eyes I tried to read the minutely printed words on the can to find out what to do in the event of contact with the product.

To prove that no matter how stupid a moment you may have had, someone else will have done better I recommend the Amazon reviews of Veet for men hair removal gel. When the first one starts "Do not put on knob and boll*cks" it must be a clue that if utter stupidity were an Olympic sport, we would have medal contenders in our midst!