Women, don't you just love them!

[Lotiman]

My wife doesn't drive our C Class very often, preferring instead to use hers but yesterday morning my car was behind hers on the drive so that was taken for a short shopping trip. Off she went and I got on with a job in the garage when no more than 5 minutes later, I heard her driving back onto the drive.

Thinking she must have forgotten something, I carried on with what I was doing when she walked into the garage to tell me there's something wrong with the car. What's up with it I ask and she tells me it's got no power and is going dangerously slowly.

Ok I say give me the keys and I'll take a look, so I jump in, start up and drive up the road. All seems fine to me, the car sounds normal and accelerates briskly as it always does. I drive around the block and the car is behaving perfectly normally so back home again to tell my wife all is well and she is waiting on the doorstep. Anyhow, she jumped in again, drove off and back I go into the garage to carry on with my job.

5 minutes later, I hear the car turning back onto the drive. Went out to meet her and ask what the problem is now (feeling just a tad irritated, if I'm honest) and she tells me the car is no better and still has no power. Again I take the keys, drive off and, again, the car drives perfectly normally!

Ok, well I'm feeling very irritated now, tell her there's nowt wrong with it, she starts to lose her temper and insists its broken. Right, I suggest, you drive round the block, I'll sit in the passenger seat and you show me what's wrong with it. Needless to say, this didn't go down too well and I was accused of not believing her but, she agreed as she's determined to prove she is right and my car is 'broken'.

So off we go with wife driving, car accelerates normally, we approach the corner where we need to turn left, wife slows the car, goes to indicate aaaaand........flicks down the stalk that controls the speed limiter/cruise control!

Because the stalk had been pressed inwards for the speed limiting mode, the top speed was fixed at the speed we were taking the corner and when she pressed the gas pedal after straightening up, it obviously wouldn't go any faster!

See, she said, somewhat triumphantly, I told you it was broken. So I leant over, pressed the stalk and because her foot was still buried to the floor, the car took off like a scalded cat. I, of course, explained her error but naturally enough, it was still my fault and apparently it is a bloody stupid car.

So here we are 36 hours later and it's still my fault. After nearly 44 years of marriage, I know my place and, more importantly, when to just keep quiet and suck it up.

 

[AMGeed]

Good story.
I found a surefire way to deter my wife from driving my E55 when I bought it.
Being a stickler for keeping (well) below the speed limit I gave her a demonstration of what a 5.4 litre supercharged engine could do on a clear road.
Nearly 4 years later she hasn't even asked to drive it.

 

[C36fan]

Good story.
I found a surefire way to deter my wife from driving my E55 when I bought it.
Being a stickler for keeping (well) below the speed limit I gave her a demonstration of what a 5.4 litre supercharged engine could do on a clear road.
Nearly 4 years later she hasn't even asked to drive it.

That didn't work with mine as she drives our C63 daily now !lol
And op if you want a peaceful home life ,just say "yes dear"lol

 

[Lotiman]

That didn't work with mine as she drives our C63 daily now !lol
And op if you want a peaceful home life ,just say "yes dear"lol

Oh I do, trust me I do! Luckily, she's never asked/wanted to drive the Loti, so at least I don't have to think of any excuses as to why I really rather she didn't!

 

[C36fan]

Oh I do, trust me I do! Luckily, she's never asked/wanted to drive the Loti, so at least I don't have think of any excuses as to why I really rather she didn't!

She don't normally drives my cars , I gave her the C63 and is her car now.
She won't touch the cls or E55 and most importantly the van!lol

 

[AMGBlack]

I find myself reaching for this book often.

Bought it from WH Smith's for a laugh a few months ago and I wave it at the wife when she has a "Technical" moment with the car..

 

[Rory]

I've had mine nearly 12yrs and my wife has never driven it. She used to drive all sorts of stuff including her dad's manual XJ6, but she just won't drive the Merc. She always drove my company cars and really liked the 3 Series I had for a while.

I don't know why she won't drive the MB, but I do know if I pushed her she'd snap the indicator stalk off, or kerb an alloy etc and it'd be my fault.

 

[Deleted member 37751]

My wife got caught speeding in my old C32 estate a few year ago and I got the blame because "your fast cars are normally loud so you can tell how fast you're going, that one is too quiet".

I didn't mention the speedo once.

 

[Lotiman]

My wife got caught speeding in my old C32 estate a few year ago and I got the blame because "your fast cars are normally loud so you can tell how fast you're going, that one is too quiet".

I didn't mention the speedo once.

I've experienced similar to that too. Several years ago, we drove down in the CLK I had at the time to visit friends at their place in the Dordogne. After a very pleasant few days, we left early morning with the intention of getting back home the same day. All was well and we were making good time so stopped on the outskirts of Paris for some food and to stretch our legs before tackling the final leg to the tunnel.

When we were leaving, the wife offered to drive the next leg so I agreed and off we went. After a while I nodded off and slept until we were about 15 miles out of Calais when I must have had a premonition and awoke with a bit of a start. I looked over at the dash and erm, I think you ought to slow down, I said, we're doing over a 100!!!

Are we she asked, looked at the dash and said whoops as she lifted off. Oh it's all these kilometre things I don't understand and the car is so quiet, she offered by way of explanation. Well, it was darned lucky I woke up when I did as just 2 kms further on, the gendarmes were sitting at the side of the road pointing a speed camera in our direction as we tootled past just under the designated speed limit.

So I clearly dodged a bullet there as that would have been my fault if we'd been pulled over, because I'd fallen asleep.

You may be surprised to hear this but she isn't a blonde either.

 

[renault12ts]

Ask her the old question...how long does it take to travel 80 miles at 80 mph?

 

[Headhurts]

My wife has never driven my E350 S212, it's too big for her, in fact the Aygo is as big as she will go car wise that is.


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[tanuie]

Glad my wife doesn't drive!

 

[Darrell]

Wife drives my Porsche more than me. She gave her boss a lift home in it last week and he was rather shocked to see what she drives.

I seem to have been relegated to the 15 year old Jaaaag.

 

[Yugguy]

To be fair, I kept knocking the cruise stick when I first got my w204. The indicator stalk is set much further down than any of the cars I have driven in 30 years...

 

[Mactech]

I have been caught out by the wife/speed limiter/indicator puzzle many years ago
But in recent years she has very wisely used it to maintain a sensible speed on motorways.
She has mostly had bigger cars than me for the last 30 years starting with a Mercedes 124 estate which she only gave up for a Lexus after 6 years.
The last real 'keeper' for her was the 08 ML (another Merc 'estate') again keeping it for 6 years.
The current Defender is unlikely to be caught speeding as it makes your ears bleed at much above 60....however it has become a firm favourite with her as a daily runner, probably because her route to work looks like something out of Postman Pat

 

[Lotiman]

To be fair, I kept knocking the cruise stick when I first got my w204. The indicator stalk is set much further down than any of the cars I have driven in 30 years...

Oh come on, don't devalue my reasons for moaning about the wife by telling me a chap has been caught out by it too. I refuse to believe that's even possible!

 

[lisa110rry]

Funny this should come up... On Thursday, Mr 110rry was given an Auto A200d as a courtesy car. We decided to have lunch with friends on Sunday. I suggested it would be lovely if he "became unduly tired" after lunch so that I could drive it home. He said yes, but I must remember that the gear stick is on the column and very close to the"cruise control".

I decided to change my mind and have a glass of wine with lunch instead! Only a few more days now.

 

[mat8n]

Don't have to push the stalk or twist it to set the limiter?
If you touched it as you would an indicator stalk it would either set or unset the cruise control, either way the accelerator pedal would over ride it.

I don't see how you/she/anyone could accidentally set the limiter when mistaking it for the indicators?

 

[DrNick]

Don't have to push the stalk or twist it to set the limiter?
If you touched it as you would an indicator stalk it would either set or unset the cruise control, either way the accelerator pedal would over ride it.

I don't see how you/she/anyone could accidentally set the limiter when mistaking it for the indicators?

The car remembers the previous mode. If it was previoulsy set to be a speed limiter, it will start up in that mode. Bashing the stalk will then quite "easily" (according to my wife) activate whatever mode, in this case speed limit. (So I've been told!)

 

[Deleted member 6183]

If the speed limiter light is on it is active, I tend to leave mine in this mode ready for speed cameras.

I did get caught out years ago when I had nudged it in slow traffic in central London so was set at 20mph, there was a panicky couple of seconds once the traffic cleared and i thought I was in limp mode.