Would You Poke a Dancing Bear With a Stick ?

[Scott_F]

I have recently been offered the chance to undertake a challenging journey of at least 2 hours to an uninhabited part of Outer Rochdale in order to enjoy the traditional spectacle of a dancing bear.


The trip is likely to cost well over 80 pence but in return will afford me the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity be guided for dozens of metres by a couple of grateful locals (Dazza and Courtney) until we eventually reach the middle of the town square (just opposite the old boarded-up Spud-u-Like).

I will have to be in excellent shape since I will be carrying my own can of Red Bull and bag of Monster Munch for the entire journey.


I will then select my weapon of choice with which to poke the beast from my large ****nal of pointy sticks (that I keep adding to for no apparent reason) and shall then stand back and enjoy watching it dance merrily to the tune of "My Old Man's a Dustman" played on a barrel organ by a toothless gipsy.

Now before any of these animal rights types start complaining I should point out that I really should be thinning the herd as most town centres are now over-populated with dancing bears. By poking the thing with a stick I am letting it off pretty lightly.

And anyway, like most alpha-males, I have the dancing-bear-poking gene.

Anyone fancy coming with me ?

 

[Ted]

Only if I can bring a couple of vicious dogs to bait the dangerous wild creature. How much for the privilege?

 

[stevieb15]

It not for me but I have an American friend who I sometimes converse with who would probably enjoy it...I'll get him to apply for a passport.

 

[brucemillar]

I think the mere mention of Rochdale is more than most could be expected to take.

Sent from my iPhone using MBClub UK

 

[pipmk]

The problem is how do you mock or insult a troll, within the forums rules, who is too thick to understand what is being said ?

 

[Nyati]

The problem is how do you mock or insult a troll, within the forums rules, who is too thick to understand what is being said ?

That's the $10000 question

 

[guydewdney]

God no - fighting chickens with steel tipped claws is acceptable, but what you propose is just barbaric! Go back to the hole you crawled out of. scum.

hang on - I have to retrieve my 3 year old from the chimney I just shoved him up, hes coughing a bit - maybe a beating will fix him? any advice therein? Or should God just do his Work?

 

[Colin_b]

Amusing thread taking the piss out of foreigners, but look at the arms of Warwickshire.

The bear and ragged staff, complete with chains. They are only copying our fine example.

 

[Ted]

Amusing thread taking the piss out of foreigners, but look at the arms of Warwickshire.

The bear and ragged staff, complete with chains. They are only copying our fine example.

Not quite true.
The bear is a very old heraldic symbol representing strength and courage.
The staff is from a legend where one of the earls of Warwick was supposed to have killed a giant with a staff.
As this originated in the thirteenth century, it was well before Columbus (allegedly) discovered America.

But this is going OT.; I wonder what bear meat tastes like.

 

[DSM10000]

But this is going OT.; I wonder what bear meat tastes like.

Not dissimilar to Artic fox, allegedly

 

[trapperjohn]

Rochdale Cowboy - YouTube

Ill be along shortly. Just going to saddle up the dog!

 

[Howard]

Not dissimilar to Artic fox, allegedly

Are they the big long ones ?

 

[grober]

The word "Muppet" has been floating round my head for several days now.

[YOUTUBE]GND0R8Q8Qgg[/YOUTUBE]

 

[camerafodder]

Not dissimilar to Artic fox, allegedly

Is that a fox that's been run over by a truck?

Personally I think the OP's suggestion is a bit to hardcore for my tastes. I'm heading over the pond where I believe the NYP is doing a 'two for one' deal on hunting feral biker gangs.

 

[GordonTarling]

Sorry, I won't be able to join you, as I'll be out shooting elephants.

 

[WDB124066]

I'll be eating steak off this farm.

Drilling wastes create pasture | Stuff.co.nz

 

[WDB124066]

...and washing it down with a glass of milk.

 

[Deker]

Not quite true.
The bear is a very old heraldic symbol representing strength and courage.
The staff is from a legend where one of the earls of Warwick was supposed to have killed a giant with a staff.
As this originated in the thirteenth century, it was well before Columbus (allegedly) discovered America.

But this is going OT.; I wonder what bear meat tastes like.

I'm sure if it was just using a bear to represent strength and courage it wouldn't have been chained to a branch in typical bear baiting style, I'll take a guess that the strength and courage line only came into use recently to give the arms a more respectable history.

Don't worry though, I'm from Hartlepool where we hang monkeys (not sure what they taste like either)

 

[Ted]

Don't worry though, I'm from Hartlepool where we hang monkeys (not sure what they taste like either)

Similar to long pig I believe.
Perhaps we should hunt long pig!!

 

[Deker]

Similar to long pig I believe.
Perhaps we should hunt long pig!!

haha I was hoping for chicken