Surviving Britain

[Spinal]

A friend from the US sent me this... quite accurate I'de say...

Cheery Cockneys (London)
Dont believe the hype,Cockneys hate everyone,particularly foreigners,i.e. anyone from outside South East England.No local accent equals rip-off time,expect long Cab rides to cover short distances and short change from everywhere.
WorldGuide: London

English Heritage (England)
AS any Englishman will tell you we have a rich and proud history.However this is usually the extent of their knowledge and any further probing will lead to confusion and possible violence.Buy a guide book or ask a foriegn tourist.
WorldGuide: England

Talking About The Weather (England)
If you really must speak to the natives this is a safe bet.Please note however that the weather is always wrong,too hot,too cold,too wet,too dry e.t.c.A bit of mutual misery is the best way to bond with the average Brit.
WorldGuide: England

Americans In England (England)
Americans know that they`re loved and admired in Britain.Sadly most Brits are un-aware of this fact,we`ll happily rip you off but you`re probably more popular in Tripoli.
WorldGuide: England

Driving Rules (England)
The only driving rules are there are no driving rules,survival of the fittest,Darwin would have been proud.We used to sneer at Rome,be amazed at Manila,now we look on in admiration.
WorldGuide: England

What Not To Wear In Glasgow (Glasgow)
Glasgow is a very friendly city,un-like the rest of Britain they only hate each other and love everybody else.Research the various colours worn by local soccer teams,avoid these completely and you`ll have a great time.
WorldGuide: Glasgow

Welsh Heritage (Wales)
The Welsh are proud and knowledgeable about their heritage,if only they were understandable to the foreign ear all would be well.Leave the jokes about sheep to the English and others who,bizarrely,enjoy violence.
WorldGuide: Wales

London (London)
London is a very cosmopolitan city,or as the English put it,"full of ****ing foreigners".By day English people fleece tourists and run businesses,by night illegal immigrants clean up after them.See the sights then leave quickly.
WorldGuide: London

Scousers (Liverpool)
Scousers are great,they`ll laugh,joke and you`ll feel like a friend within minutes.You almost dont begrudge them lifting your wallet as it was done in such a charming way.
WorldGuide: Liverpool

Heathrow Airport (London)
Over-flowing toilets,the suprise of seeing the famous "un-armed Bobby" patrolling with a machine gun,the dirt,the chaos the rude catering staff,truly the Gateway to England.Take photos,your friends wont believe you otherwise.

from: http://www.lonelyplanet.com/bluelist/index.cfm?fa=main.rateList

Michele

 

[mattc]

Makes you proud to be British - not. Not enough people realise what a drain hole this place has become; or if they do dont lambast our politicans enough about it! (me included shamefully)

 

[SEM]

Please forward to your local MP

 

[Spinal]

I do disagree with the driving rules one... Stay out of the saturday-night boy-racer areas and Britain is one of the most disciplined countries I've driven in.

Oh, and I'm not British, so I don't wish this to cause any offence, I just live here

Michele

 

[Dryce]

Not enough people realise what a drain hole this place has become

Doesn't seem to stop the hordes coming in.

I don't hear much English spoken any more when I go to the larger local supermarkets.

 

[recycled]

english!!!!!!!!! what is that?
against the law now. you can only be british apparently

 

[Dryce]

english!!!!!!!!! what is that?
against the law now. you can only be british apparently

Quite OK to be English if you're British and English.

Problem comes when English is used as a synonym for British.

As a Scot when I'm abroad with English friends they will quite happily talk about 'We English' to distinguish them (and me included) from Johnny Foreigner.

It's not unknown for an English person to use a phrase like 'here in England' when in a non-English part of the UK without realising what they actually said (as opposed to meant).

I've never once heard somebody from Scotland, Wales, or NI refer to their own UK region as a synonym for the UK.

 

[Parrotman]

english!!!!!!!!! what is that?
against the law now. you can only be british apparently

or ethnic other !

 

[RoseTattoo]

Right on, we just don't give a toss (can I say that?).
Shame they left out our awful food, unless you want to take out another mortgage.
And Public transport.