A tale of a weekend mechanic

[brucemillar]

I was once rebuilding a Stage 2 Mini A Series engine. I'd done it a few times and was a dab hand. And as engines go, short of two stroke, it's as simple as they come. It's just about being very methodical on the strip down and then very methodical on the subsequent rebuild.

Anyway, a bored mate of mine had rocked up to watch and started to plead with me to let him do something, anything. Reluctantly I pointed him at the oil filter housing and off he set.

Roll forward a day or so. The build's been done, the engine's back in, everything is plumbed in/connected so I make sure the plug leads are off and go to crank it to build some oil pressure. Its at zero. I check the gauge and the connectors. Check the feed pipe. look for other leaks. Double check the oil level.....and nothing obvious. Cranked it a few more times to no avail.

With a heavy heart I started to disconnect everything (ie carb, manifold, engine mounts, driveshafts, fuel line, cooling system, etc etc etc. Listed the bloody engine out again, split the timing chain, tool the rocker cover off and then the head. Checked all the oil galleries. Nothing. Opened up the bottom end, looked forlornly at the newly reground crank and still nothing.

And then the oil filter caught my eye. Oh no. Surely not......took the filter off, loosened the first bolt then the second, took housing off and looked inside. Out fell the little pressure spring. Without the sodding little ball bearing that closed off the oil flow when cold staring.

The dozy sod. All he had was two bolts, one housing, one gasket, one spring and one ball bearing to cope with. And he forgot the fricking ball bearing.

AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Needles to say my mate NEVER got go anywhere near any of my cars after that.

Was you mate called Dave?

 

[Deleted member 6183]

I was once rebuilding a Stage 2 Mini A Series engine. I'd done it a few times and was a dab hand. And as engines go, short of two stroke, it's as simple as they come. It's just about being very methodical on the strip down and then very methodical on the subsequent rebuild.

Anyway, a bored mate of mine had rocked up to watch and started to plead with me to let him do something, anything. Reluctantly I pointed him at the oil filter housing and off he set.

Roll forward a day or so. The build's been done, the engine's back in, everything is plumbed in/connected so I make sure the plug leads are off and go to crank it to build some oil pressure. Its at zero. I check the gauge and the connectors. Check the feed pipe. look for other leaks. Double check the oil level.....and nothing obvious. Cranked it a few more times to no avail.

With a heavy heart I started to disconnect everything (ie carb, manifold, engine mounts, driveshafts, fuel line, cooling system, etc etc etc. Listed the bloody engine out again, split the timing chain, tool the rocker cover off and then the head. Checked all the oil galleries. Nothing. Opened up the bottom end, looked forlornly at the newly reground crank and still nothing.

And then the oil filter caught my eye. Oh no. Surely not......took the filter off, loosened the first bolt then the second, took housing off and looked inside. Out fell the little pressure spring. Without the sodding little ball bearing that closed off the oil flow when cold staring.

The dozy sod. All he had was two bolts, one housing, one gasket, one spring and one ball bearing to cope with. And he forgot the fricking ball bearing.

AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Needles to say my mate NEVER got go anywhere near any of my cars after that.

When I was a kid my best mate was brilliant at fixing cars, this was great as I was brilliant at breaking them.
We learned a lot about mending stuff at the time and I've absolutely no desire to return to that oily hell.

 

[Londonscottish]

Was you mate called Dave?

Oddly enough he was. Although we all called him Dovit for some reason I can't remember.

I got my revenge in the end. As me and my mates were quite handy with the spanners he brought his knackered old Viva HB round. It wasn't running right so the first thing one of mates tried was a plug chop - the idea was that he would rev it to 6k, turn it off abruptly, take out a spark plug and see what colour it was.

Only this was to be the last time it ever hit the redline. Cued the horrible of a crank chewing through what was left of the main bearings. It sat unloved for a while in an old disused car park. Until i got my hands on an MOT-failure Austin 1300 and staged an impromptu demoolition derby using the Viva as a static target.

He wasn't impressed but we were all crying with laughter. It could be fun being 17.....

 

[CLSMark]

I was once rebuilding a Stage 2 Mini A Series engine. I'd done it a few times and was a dab hand. And as engines go, short of two stroke, it's as simple as they come. It's just about being very methodical on the strip down and then very methodical on the subsequent rebuild.

Anyway, a bored mate of mine had rocked up to watch and started to plead with me to let him do something, anything. Reluctantly I pointed him at the oil filter housing and off he set.

Roll forward a day or so. The build's been done, the engine's back in, everything is plumbed in/connected so I make sure the plug leads are off and go to crank it to build some oil pressure. Its at zero. I check the gauge and the connectors. Check the feed pipe. look for other leaks. Double check the oil level.....and nothing obvious. Cranked it a few more times to no avail.

With a heavy heart I started to disconnect everything (ie carb, manifold, engine mounts, driveshafts, fuel line, cooling system, etc etc etc. Listed the bloody engine out again, split the timing chain, tool the rocker cover off and then the head. Checked all the oil galleries. Nothing. Opened up the bottom end, looked forlornly at the newly reground crank and still nothing.

And then the oil filter caught my eye. Oh no. Surely not......took the filter off, loosened the first bolt then the second, took housing off and looked inside. Out fell the little pressure spring. Without the sodding little ball bearing that closed off the oil flow when cold staring.

The dozy sod. All he had was two bolts, one housing, one gasket, one spring and one ball bearing to cope with. And he forgot the fricking ball bearing.

AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Needles to say my mate NEVER got go anywhere near any of my cars after that.

Ex mate?


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[Londonscottish]

Ex mate?


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Well he was more of a sort-of mate in that my crowd hung around mucking about with cars and bikes as did his.

He ended up with a Rover 3500 P6 which was quite amusing. Every weekend he'd go to a scrappie and have a couple of s/h 165's fitted (rather the factory 185's). He'd them spend the next week shredding them in clouds of smoke before going back for another set. You could sometime literally peel the rubber of the road once he'd gone.

Oh how our neighbours must have loved us......

 

[Ted]

I once rebuilt my Triumph Thunderbird 6T pre-unit engine.
Like totally rebuilt. I couldn't get cam bushes for it, so I turned down some phosphor bronze ones from a truck (Butec) starter motor.
Put it all back together, slowly turned it over to get some fuel through, and brought it up to compression at the top of the swing.


Started first kick.

 

[Londonscottish]

In terms of disasters and **** ups...

After yet another mashed CV joint/gearbox failure/engine blow up I was one day (hamfistedly) trying to fit and/or bleed the front calipers on an an Alfa Sprint (the Sud-based one). They are inboard discs on those and hard to access. It's so long ago now I can't remember bit I either cross threaded the mounting bolts or the nipple but the effect was the same.

Kyboshed car and the trailer of shame into the local Alfa specialist.....

 

[CLSMark]

In terms of disasters and **** ups...

After yet another mashed CV joint/gearbox failure/engine blow up I was one day (hamfistedly) trying to fit and/or bleed the front calipers on an an Alfa Sprint (the Sud-based one). They are inboard discs on those and hard to access. It's so long ago now I can't remember bit I either cross threaded the mounting bolts or the nipple but the effect was the same.

Kyboshed car and the trailer of shame into the local Alfa specialist.....

Trailer of shame [emoji1303][emoji16]


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[ringway]

This thread takes me back to post 29 HERE.

Guilt. Skeleton's in your cupboard?

 

[Tuercas viejas]

I started fixing cars at 9 years of age in my dad's shop under some railway arches in Gloucester.
Now 61 years on I am still doing with 9 bay shop in Denver with a great bunch of both Latin & Gringo mechanics .
This is appropriate to the discussion!
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Tuercas viejas