brainwave

I have been sitting here wondering what would happen if I dispensed with petrol and from now on decided to fill my car's fuel tank with onions. Would this do any harm to the engine or have I hit on an amazing new idea that would improve performance ?

Ok,so I managed to clean my car for the first time in weeks today. The windscreen was covered in dried on bugs and after cleaning about 6" square in 10 minutes I had a brainwave. Windscreen sized towel on. Soaked. Left ten minutes. Job done! Easy! Feeling very pleased with myself.

Must be something about being a Chief Constable that drives them mad. Having decided to plaster North Wales with speed cameras and persecute motorists, his latest wheeze (presumably to free up more yet more officers to persue his crusade against road users) is to suggest once again that...