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Virtual Banger Meet - Saturday 4th April

Bryan Allman

Active Member
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Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
606
Location
San Lorenzo Nuovo - Lazio, Italy
Car
SLK55 (R172) 62.
So all you have to do to attend this meet is to post a picture of the worst car you have ever owned and then describe why it was so bad.

If you don't have a picture of your actual car, then post picture of a another car of the same type. As you can see from the plate, this car does not come from the UK and is not mine.


1280px-1960_Morris_Minor_1000_2-door_sedan_%2827185403482%29.jpg


My not quite so trusty Minor 1000 was in a gunmetal grey which had various shades depending on the time of day and direction from which you looked. It also had copious amounts of rust - everywhere, which for a 1962 car was not unusual, but bearing in mind that at the time I got it (1968) seem to have taken hold quite quickly.

Another unusual feature was that it had 3 x 14 inch wheels and 1 x 13 inch which was fitted to the nearside rear, however, this wheel was fitted with a larger tyre to compensate for rolling radius :)

Another fine feature was the almost complete lack of brakes! This was demonstrated most convincingly when coming back from a night in Soho, 5 up along the Great West Rd. and having wound up the Moggie to reasonable speed, the sudden realisation that it was not going to stop in time to avoid the queue of cars waiting at one of the many red lights on that road! Solution - to pull to the other side of the road and eventually to come to a stop facing the oncoming but now stationary traffic coming the other way - much to their amusement and distain. No account of maintenance and modification to the standard setup ever created any improvement and my style of driving has always included searching for escape routes since that day!

As with most cars fitted with Lucas electrics there was always a will she start moment at the beginning of each journey. This was coupled with the ability for the engine to cut out each time you came to pull out of a junction. Nothing you did would make any difference until you waited for a very long 10-15 seconds before it fired into life again. This 'feature' was eventually solved through the use of a nail into the low tension connector on the coil. I can't remember how I found out about this fix, but once applied, juctions no longer became the terror they once were - especially for the passengers!!

There were advantages to the Moggie however. In those days I was an avid rock climber and spent most weekends in the company of mates down on the Dorset Coast - home to such climbing delights as 'Dancing Ledges'. We always took a few girls down with us to brighten up the evenings in the pub after a long day on the cliff face and it was to accomodate them that we found the transition from freezing tent to the warmth and comfort of a Moggie. We soon discovered that by tilting the front seats forward, and then removing the back of the rear seat and placing it against the bases of the two front seats; with your feet in the boot and the warmth of a double spleeping bag, you had a very comfortable 'double bed'!!

Good memories :)
 
I've just nicked this picture as I don't have any actual photos of the one I owned.calibra.jpg
I spent 4 months trying to like it and about 6 months trying to get rid of it.

It was bought in haste looking back, I didn't take it for a long enough test drive otherwise perhaps it wouldn't have been purchased in the first place(from a used car place).
The main problem was static which only became apparently a few days after I brought it home.
This was back in 1991 or 1992, it didn't have remote locking, so it meant having to to menial tasks such a sticking a key in the lock and turning it.
This is where the fun began, as you approached the metal lock with the metal key, you could almost see the static arcing, then as you touched the two surfaces - BANG, a painful delivery of static was delivered.

You had to workout a way to get out of the car, but holding onto a metal surface the whole time, then getting yourself away from it to touch some other surface and rid yourself of static.

The boot lock had a mind of its own, you had to systematically insert the key while constantly trying to turn the lock, there never seemed to be a simple stick the key fully in and turn - wasn't happening.
This then flared tempers when it was raining for example.

The lights were truly shyte, they looked impressive, but light output not so great.

My son hated getting out of it - due to the reasons above.
He was only little at the time, and needed Dad's hand to help get out - so given what I've described above, you can guess the common thing which happened most times :D
 
Ha ha - well i'm going to join in!

I've thankfully only really had one car that I didn't really like. And it was the only time I bought with my head rather than heart, so there's a lesson there!

My beloved Alfa Sprint Cloverleaf was written off and as I was saving for a house I bought a "sensible" Peugeot 106 XT 1.4. It was a 1994 so was only 4 years old. I feel a bit sad for it actually because it never really stood a chance in my affections. Plus literally a week out of warranty the ECU died and cost me something like £800 which was a lot in 1998. Especially as the Alfa never gave me bill like that. The image below isn't mine - I don't think I actually took any photos of it!

I sold it and bought a Fiat Coupe Turbo 20VT.

The only other car that came close was a Vauxhall Signum 2.2 Elite. That followed the Fiat. I really liked the concept - reclining rear seats, fridge, heated and cooled seats etc. But the engine was lifeless and the handling all over the place. That was replaced by an Alfa GTV (not the current V6 but a 2 litre I had for a few years until that was written off and replaced with the V6)

106.jpg
 
Worst car: Lancia Dedra turbo.
started to misbehave the day I bought it. From cold start it would fire instantly idle fine, but then die under any load, such as letting the clutch out. Once warmed it was better, but had the lovely habit of setting off out of a junction, just enough to get you across the oncoming traffic and then bog down or die In the middle of the road. Drove it like you stole it and it was fine.
radiator rotted away No chance of a recore, and only genuine ones available, also a turbo rad is different from any other as it has an extra pipe. expensive dealer only rarity.
clutch master cylinder died and spat fluid in the footwell, set off from a tollbooth in 1st, went to press the clutch for second and found the pedal was still on the floor.
exhaust rotted away - only genuine available. Ended up making my own from Jetex parts, which was much nicer.
front bottom ball joints went loose, replacements were complete lower wishbones at vast price.
it had climate control, but no air con, so the fan speeded up and up on a warm day, but no cooling. It had huge solar gain, and a glass sunroof, I think I got sunstroke on a trip to France in it.
brake discs cracked, alloys corroded, mystery electrical gremlins like headlamp wipers coming on at random and emptying the washer bottle.
i put up with it for 12months. photo is not my car, but a very similar one.14D5522C-13DB-419E-AB5F-DE8CFE9D31C6.jpeg
 

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