pammy
MB Enthusiast
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2003
- Messages
- 7,468
- Location
- North Yorkshire
- Car
- hers - slk 320, his - dull diesel BMW fleet :/, Xtrail, Honda CBR 1100xx, Yamaha YZF600, Ribble Road
(Apologies in advance to any of our wonderful boys in blue - but it did make me chuckle)
While I was driving down the road the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk we all know about, asked "What's your hurry?"
I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot ****hole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Speeding ticket: £95.00
Court costs: £65
Look on copper's face ... Priceless
While I was driving down the road the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk we all know about, asked "What's your hurry?"
I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot ****hole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Speeding ticket: £95.00
Court costs: £65
Look on copper's face ... Priceless
