How to improve the other half's driving...

[E55K]

Could use some input here... tricky marital / motoring situation.

When the wife & I go anywhere in the car together then we almost always go in my car & I drive. Three reasons - I've got the nicer / more comfortable car, I like driving, and her driving scares me at times.

I often forget the last reason, until I get reminded once or twice a year when I sit in the passenger seat of her car. Latest occasion was on Christmas night.

The worst part is her not knowing how close to the kerb she is when driving. Sometimes we (she) gets within an inch or 2 of the kerb at 30mph, but she's blissfully unaware.

I've been married long enough to know that trying to speak to your wife about something like this is never easy. My lovely wife is also particularly stubborn & tends to react to any suggestion of mine that could even remotely be a criticism, in a strong & defensive way!

So any constructive ideas? I've thought of booking her some advanced driving lessons. I've also thought about taking her for an eye test. She was prescribed glasses after her last eye test a couple of years back, but prescription was very mild so she convinced herself not to wear the glasses (did I mention stubborn??).

 

[alistairgd]

The problem is not an eye deficiency, the fairer sex can have 20/20 and still drive too close to objects.

The problem is that females brains process things differently, and one of those things is spacial awareness. There was a study published recently that showed all the linkages in the brain, and the difference between males and females was extreme.

That proves what we already know, us guys can achieve some tasks better than women and vice-versa. Some of things we naturally do better are those that require good spacial awareness.

Nothing to get touchy about, it's just the way were are built.

The trick is, as you know, explaining this scientific fact to females without getting an emotional response.

They are still working on that one, so good luck with your better half!

 

[LTD]

Only let her drive when you are farted as a piss.

Job done. You'll worry as much as she doesn't then.

 

[Dieselman]

The problem is not an eye deficiency, the fairer sex can have 20/20 and still drive too close to objects.

The problem is that females brains process things differently, and one of those things is spacial awareness. There was a study published recently that showed all the linkages in the brain, and the difference between males and females was extreme.

That proves what we already know, us guys can achieve some tasks better than women and vice-versa. Some of things we naturally do better are those that require good spacial awareness.

Nothing to get touchy about, it's just the way were are built.

The trick is, as you know, explaining this scientific fact to females without getting an emotional response.

They are still working on that one, so good luck with your better half!

Alternatively, just shout...What the FCUK are you doing..???

 

[E55K]

Only let her drive when you are farted as a piss.

Job done. You'll worry as much as she doesn't then.

Yep, tried that one on Christmas night (hence the reason she was driving!)

Unfortunately, when I'm well oiled, my reaction is rather more dramatic.... something along the lines of "kerb.... kerb.... KERB.... F*** did you know how close you were to that kerb". You can imagine the response. Yes, I had to walk the last mile home

 

[Dieselman]

Yep, tried that one on Christmas night (hence the reason she was driving!)

Unfortunately, when I'm well oiled, my reaction is rather more dramatic.... something along the lines of "kerb.... kerb.... KERB.... F*** did you know how close you were to that kerb". You can imagine the response. Yes, I had to walk the last mile home

If She didn't actually hit the kerb then she got the apex of the bend just right.

 

[E55K]

Her racing lines are pretty much perfect. Just wish she knew that was what she was doing.

 

[Dieselman]

A natural..

 

[renault12ts]

As has been said...it's not to do with how good the eyesight...my wife is 20/10 (twice as good as 20/20)...and is still a crap driver.

 

[wilsodg]

If She didn't actually hit the kerb then she got the apex of the bend just right.

Spot on. Ref the earlier post, maybe you just would prefer a greater margin, but until she actually kerbs it while she is driving, you don't have a leg to stand on (never mind walk home on). Consider also that the distance to the kerb (when viewed from the passenger seat) will appear different to when viewed from the drivers position.

But I sympathise - we have exactly the same discussions and tonight my other half did actually hit the kerb (fortunately hers is a 4x4 with higher profiles and quite slow so no alloy damage). I don't think you can change it..

 

[Deleted member 37751]

There's two things to consider why you're such a terrible passenger;

1. You're sat at the nearside of the car so you naturally feel closer to the kerb.

2. You're a bit of a control freak, like a lot of people and not being in control of the car scares you a little. I bet you stamp on the floor mat when you think she should be braking too, don't you?

 

[baxlin]

Just sit in the rear seat. Simple, there's no brake pedal there, neither real or imaginary..............

 

[E55K]

There's two things to consider why you're such a terrible passenger;

1. You're sat at the nearside of the car so you naturally feel closer to the kerb.

2. You're a bit of a control freak, like a lot of people and not being in control of the car scares you a little. I bet you stamp on the floor mat when you think she should be braking too, don't you?

I only have this reaction as a passenger when my wife is driving, no-one else I know & have been a passenger with drives this close to kerbs without knowing it.

I'm actually more worried about her driving when I'm not in the car, as she has much greater opportunity to hit a kerb (99% of her mileage is without me in the car)

 

[RWDpetrol]

My wife's driving also scares me. Rather than constantly advise her, I've got to the point where she knows I am sitting quietly and limiting my conversation with her so she can better concentrate on her driving. It's a win-win situation.

Seriously though, I find some people lose all control when they talk and drive, and that to me is far more dangerous than eg speeding.

 

[camerafodder]

[YOUTUBE]LS37SNYjg8w[/YOUTUBE]

 

[tombo5609]

I only have this reaction as a passenger when my wife is driving, no-one else I know & have been a passenger with drives this close to kerbs without knowing it.

I'm actually more worried about her driving when I'm not in the car, as she has much greater opportunity to hit a kerb (99% of her mileage is without me in the car)

I thought hitting the kerb was only something that my wife did. The other day whilst rounding a perfectly casual bend she managed to do just that.

Women deride us for our inability to multi task (I dont think that is true but let it slide), it means that when we are driving or anything else for that matter, we concentrate on what we are doing.

When women are in a car driving is not high on their list of prioritys.

 

[stevieb15]

One of the great things about our spouses inability to take advice is it can be turned to our advantage. "Have you thought of not clipping the kerb there/not loading the dishwasher that way/not laying the table that way/not peeling the spuds that way"?
The "turf" thing kicks in every time.

 

[geraldrobins]

Its all very well criticizing your wifes driving E55, but I'd like to know her opinion of yours.
When youre a passenger and see a hazard and while the driver is reacting it feels as if they ar'nt as there is a split second delay.
Seriously she should wear glasses for driving if her optician advises that.
with most things though if we are being watched especially by an over anxious watcher, that will make us over anxious and not react smoothly.

 

[W4E300]

http://youtu.be/mNsGulS2IlA

Sent from my iPad using MBClub UK

 

[John]

I would let her get on with it. If it concerns you that much to say something, then a "you were a bit close there" without any drama or emotion will suffice.

If she doesn't like it, just let her carry on and make sure it's not your car she is driving!

Women deride us for our inability to multi task (I dont think that is true but let it slide)

No human can multitask anyway as we have one brain and cannot do more than one thing at any given moment - it's bulls**t and actually comes from a computing.

People can switch between tasks which is often what is meant by it - but that is not multitasking.

In my daily job, I can sometimes be switching between four or five different things - it's easy really.