Speed Bumps

[Noodle-Pulp]

Now I bet you never saw this one coming...
After several near misses VERY close to home, I'm now more than a little wary (read "weary" if you must) of the local "traffic calming measures" - known as Speed Bumps (sleeping policemen, pah!).

I don't mind slowing down for them, no not even a little, I actually think they're a good idea, no really I do!

Imagine if you will a fairly wide and long road, fairly residential, not many shops - no local schools, 3 traffic lights in place at various intervals with a few zebra crossings to keep us all on our toes. 30mph zone.. well thats just about right.

And then there are those that desire to push the boundary of this.. and want to drive about 40mph, and in doing so must avoid driving with both wheels ON the speed bumps, and therefore MUST straddle the bumps with their wheels - which makes them swerve maniacally every 10 metres or so.

Pity me or any other driver sticking to my side, pushed out a little ways by the parked cars but not enough to cross the sacred dotted white line - while these cretins draw their undulating sine waves across 2/3 of the road - hey! That includes my side of the road and makes me stop too many times to protect my precious carriage!

No! Far more serious, pity the cars with their dangling wing mirrors cracked and gouged side panels.

Worse still - pity the cyclists - cowering as cars from the other side of the road lunge and bray at them.

Is it right that other car drivers can steal my right to drive safely on my half of the road - I think not!
Speed bumps need to be right across the whole of the road to prevent such errant ways!

 

[moonloops]

Don't swerve over speed humps - ever , it's crazy.

Rule #1 drive as fast as you can towards them, slam on the brakes, skid, crawl over the hump. Accelerate as fast and as loud as possible until you reach next hump and then follow rule #1


Logic is the residents will soon vote to get rid due to the noise.

Rule #2 ensure speed limit is enforced by real police persons.

 

[MOCAŠ]

Speed bumps need to be right across the whole of the road to prevent such errant ways!

They are. What you are describing are speed cushions, designed to allow emergency vehicles (with their wider tracks) to pass at speed. Trouble is they also afford the same privilege to any commercial vehicle.

 

[ajs37]

They are. What you are describing are speed cushions, designed to allow emergency vehicles (with their wider tracks) to pass at speed. Trouble is they also afford the same privilege to any commercial vehicle.

some of the speed bumps (cushions) around our area are small enough to allow most family sized cars to straddle each bump - only those people that cannot a) drive in a straight line and b) aim the car wheels over each side of the cushion slow down for them - a bit pointless really - but then, most of the 'traffic-calming, bus lane improvement' measures in Bristol are pointless

 

[iscaboy]

Dunno what are more annoying for what they do to traffic, bumps or chicanes... and people parking near them..

had one today, bob & bob in a blue transit, we both stop in the middle of the chicane (I'd seen bob#1 using the mobile while approaching) not enough room to pass

bob#1 starts with the "come on mate" crap, and gesturing to bob#2, who starts sneering down at the knob in the white merc who can't drive.

not a good attitude to take, not with me.

bob#1 has had his laugh, "cmon mate, back it up."

traffic is building up behind both of us.

the bob's are still sneering at the knob in the white merc who can't drive

I think to myself, that's quite enough of that, stick it in park, brake on, ignition off.

bob & bob are starting to get upset now, bob starts swearing at me.

another bad idea.

I get out of the car, and ask bob to kindly step out of his vehicle, bob isn't so sure of this, I insist, bob gets out, so does other bob, I do the "come hither" with the index finger, and then point straight down.

"see that, it's a white line, guess which side of it I am on, and guess which side of it you are on, and guess which side of it the obstructing parked car that you swung out to avoid is on, which you would have maybe noticed if you hadn't been so busy laughing in your phone instead of driving"

bob#1 is upset, bob#2 says "he's right you know" to bob#1

bob#1 pulls over, there is clapping and appluse from behind me, I start my car, I pass, and hear the car behind me, the car behind him, and the polish bus driver behind him all swear at bob#1 as they pass.

I drop off the stuff I was delivering and turn around, retrace my route, about 400 yards past where I met the bob's, bob's blue transit is stuffed quite nicely into the front of a people carrier, at another chicane with an obstruction on bob's side, and he is over the white line.

Sadly there is no shortage of piss poor drivers on the road, and they are not all 17 years old with the ink on their pass cert still wet.

 

[markjay]

It's all about resonance. The speed bump slope is intended to create an amplitude that will cause your car's springs to resonate - this is the up-and-down motion that you feel when going fast over a speed bump till the car settles. The curvature is such that will match your car resonance speed at around 30mph, thus forcing you to slow down below the resonance speed and avoid this effect. However... there is another way... if you travel at a speed higher than the resonance speed (IN THEORY!) the car will remain flat over the speed bump... this is because at the higher speed the springs (damped by the dampers) can not react fast enough to create the resonance effect.

*** Disclaimer - this is a physics explanation, DO NOT TRY THIS ON PUBLIC ROADS - speed bumps are there for a reason! ***

 

[iscaboy]

*** Disclaimer - this is a physics explanation, DO NOT TRY THIS ON PUBLIC ROADS - speed bumps are there for a reason! ***

yeah, and that reason is to **** up your suspension as rapidly as possible...

I can't bring myself to do more than 15 mph on most of them around here.

 

[renault12ts]

How did you know they were both called Bob?

 

[iscaboy]

heads bobbing to the radio types

 

[219]

As above , I perceive speed bumps to be the ones that go full width across the road .

Here , Ayrshire , we have a number of speed cushions in some of the villages nearby - while the track of my S Class is wide enough to take them between my wheels without hitting them at all , I find that even the little Corsa van I drive for work can also straddle them quite easily , only catching the lower part of the sloping edges - so I can cross any of them in just about any vehicle at 30 mph without any fuss or drama . It therefore annoys me somewhat to find myself behind someone who feels it neccessary to slow to 2 mph to cross these obstructions - if I encounter one of these people I will usually overtake them , if it is safe to do so , at the next pair of cushions ( usually one cushion on each side of the road ) . The ones who annoy me even more are the ones who feel it neccessary to swerve into the middle of the road to go between the pair of cushions on each side , thus preventing me from overtaking them .

 

[Stratman]

I can't be bothered to find it, but there was a thread recently about damage to the inner sidewalls of low-profile boy racer tyres, apparently caused by straddling speed bumps.

 

[Gridlock]

They are. What you are describing are speed cushions, designed to allow emergency vehicles (with their wider tracks) to pass at speed. Trouble is they also afford the same privilege to any commercial vehicle.

In practice these abominations allow anyone in a modern car to speed at will whilst swearing at those of us in lowered cars with stiff suspension who must take them very, very carefully to avoid ripping our sumps off.

I've considered seriously in the past taking a council to court for discrimination, as I believe a good enough lawyer would be able to demonstrate that this is in fact what is occurring here.

 

[iscaboy]

I've considered seriously in the past taking a council to court for discrimination, as I believe a good enough lawyer would be able to demonstrate that this is in fact what is occurring here.

Yeah, your car is BLACK, whereas my WHITE car can whizz over the cushions lickety-split, I'll be your witness for a small fee + expenses.

 

[Gridlock]

Your 2 year-old Mondeo/Jag/407/Land Cruiser can travel safely over them with no fear of damage and at illegal speeds.

Anybody with a car more than 10 or so years old risks damage if they follow suit.

I'm no lawyer but I do have a very good feel for what you can argue these days and economic/class discrimination is very real in this country, and against the EU HRC.

 

[iscaboy]

I'm no lawyer but I do have a very good feel for what you can argue these days and economic/class discrimination is very real in this country, and against the EU HRC.

cool... nips out to buy weliant wobbin...

 

[Noodle-Pulp]

Maybe I wasn't clear enough - the bumps/cushions themselves are fine, it's the fools that swerve all over the road - particularly straying into the wrong side (MY SIDE) - just to straddle them - are what cause my concerns - that and the damage they do to the wing mirrors of parked cars, without even stopping.

 

[Gridlock]

They're absolutely not fine - yes, people shouldn't be swerving into oncoming traffic but I'm afraid quite often these bumps force me to cross the dividing line (after waiting, obv), and where this is on a blind corner what am I supposed to do?

 

[Noodle-Pulp]

(after waiting, obv)

When traffic swerves onto my side of the road and forces me to wait I think I have a right to be unhappy, I know I'm a grumpy old git

 

[tambyrne]

We have a road approx 1.5 mile long with speed bumps 3 abreast every 20 yds or so. Last week my grumpy old git side came out. Got stuck behind a Land Rover honest a friggin Land Rover slowing down to 5 MPH to go over the bumps. So when the road was clear I overtook straddling the Rt Hand BUMP at 30 MPH (which my w202 does with no problem) and flipped the other driver the finger.Childish I know but made me feel better. Also when I looked in my mirror I saw at least three other cars doing the same. So these speed bumps are counter productive to road safety due to a Numpty in a Land Rover.

 

[Noodle-Pulp]

This is exactly the arrangement I was talking about where the drivers coming the other way straddle the centre cushion it could end up very nasty indeed if I didn't stop some way before it, and yet there's no good reason for them to behave that way in my opinion.