Birdman
Active Member
The first one was down to my lending the number 2 german car to a ditzy young California girl my son had met while they were travelling around Australia. She had all her limbs, and all her marbles, apparently, and a California driving licence, and as my son has no licence I lent her the car for them to use. She parked up without applying the handbrake or putting it in park, so while she took her holiday photos the car ran away and struck a wall, damaging the rear bumper and surrounds, crumpling the rear quarter panel, pushing the sub-frame forward and wedging the doors in their frames, rendering it an insurance write-off five minutes after I had lent her the keys.
The second occurred that same evening. As they now had no car I drove them to the cinema, and stayed on to see the film at their invitation. On the way home, a very large and suicidal badger ran across the road and hurled itself under the front wheels. A badger can weigh up to thirty pounds, mostly muscle and bone, and hitting a galloping brock at 65mph makes for a long list of repairs. In this case, replacement bumper, headlight, under-tray, radiator, grill, fan, air-con condenser, blower, polybelt and assorted odds and ends. That’s before checking wheel geometry – each wheel struck the beast with a massive thump and one shock absorber appears to be leaking. So my E55 went out of commission too, and both cars remain at the bodyshop still.
However by way of consolation I got a forfour Smart car as a runaround. Nice car, but unrefined, I think they ran out of money before they’d finished developing it. I can’t help holding Charlie and Chocolate Factory responsible for the second wreck, although the first was definitely down to romantic love. Or was it simple negligence? I can’t quite decide which.
The second occurred that same evening. As they now had no car I drove them to the cinema, and stayed on to see the film at their invitation. On the way home, a very large and suicidal badger ran across the road and hurled itself under the front wheels. A badger can weigh up to thirty pounds, mostly muscle and bone, and hitting a galloping brock at 65mph makes for a long list of repairs. In this case, replacement bumper, headlight, under-tray, radiator, grill, fan, air-con condenser, blower, polybelt and assorted odds and ends. That’s before checking wheel geometry – each wheel struck the beast with a massive thump and one shock absorber appears to be leaking. So my E55 went out of commission too, and both cars remain at the bodyshop still.
However by way of consolation I got a forfour Smart car as a runaround. Nice car, but unrefined, I think they ran out of money before they’d finished developing it. I can’t help holding Charlie and Chocolate Factory responsible for the second wreck, although the first was definitely down to romantic love. Or was it simple negligence? I can’t quite decide which.
none taken 
Although I can blow credit cards easily - my hubby actually struggles to get me to spend money on me at times 
