The problem with keeping your car clean in winter is do you
a. Leave it to get dirty until spring time.
b. Put it through a car wash and ruin the paint with a zillion scratches.
c. Take it to a handwash place, queue for hours, then wish theyd done it properly.
d. Pay a fortune to have it properly valeted every week
e. Do the right thing and get out there in the freezing cold and wash the thing properly, and get those wheels gleaming again.
I recomend the later but it has serious downsides, namely that 2 hours with your hands in water then using alloy wheel cleaner in freezing temperatures, reduces your hands to white pulpy things that look like the contents of yesterdays Mcdonalds Chicken Sandwich.
Well my wife pointed out that cut bleading, knarled plates of chicken (hands) arent getting to do massages to make up for the ridiculous amount of time spent cleaning THAT car!
Therefore she suggested a girly fix to this dilema. First, buy cheapy disposable gloves (one size fits nobody), then buy some nice manly coloured rubber gloves (Pink kitchen ones will work as well but will reduce your cred to ZERO with the neighbours.)
Then cover your hands with Sudocream and put your hands in to the disposable gloves. Then put your rubber gloves on over the disposable ones.
Now, when you do this you WILL feel foolish and your hands will feel squidgy but once everything warms up you wont even know.
Then spend three hours getting freezing (your hands will remain warm) using neat acid to remove brake dust, and tar remover, and T Cut, and Polishes and the finally Zymol until your car is looks brand new again.
Then the magic bit.When you finish cleaning the car instead of spending the next hour removing black brake dust from under your nails with jif and sandpaper, you just remove both layers of gloves and your hands will be bone dry and clean and soft enough to get to spend the next three hours providing that massage!!
Benefits to this method.
a. Car gets properly looked after.
b. Your hands get looked after.
c. Your wife forgives you for spending all morning on the car.
(PS. If you have tattoos, are single, or are well ard, then this advice is not for you, but if like me you the heaviest thing you lift all week is a Shaeffer Pen then try it!)
a. Leave it to get dirty until spring time.
b. Put it through a car wash and ruin the paint with a zillion scratches.
c. Take it to a handwash place, queue for hours, then wish theyd done it properly.
d. Pay a fortune to have it properly valeted every week
e. Do the right thing and get out there in the freezing cold and wash the thing properly, and get those wheels gleaming again.
I recomend the later but it has serious downsides, namely that 2 hours with your hands in water then using alloy wheel cleaner in freezing temperatures, reduces your hands to white pulpy things that look like the contents of yesterdays Mcdonalds Chicken Sandwich.
Well my wife pointed out that cut bleading, knarled plates of chicken (hands) arent getting to do massages to make up for the ridiculous amount of time spent cleaning THAT car!
Therefore she suggested a girly fix to this dilema. First, buy cheapy disposable gloves (one size fits nobody), then buy some nice manly coloured rubber gloves (Pink kitchen ones will work as well but will reduce your cred to ZERO with the neighbours.)
Then cover your hands with Sudocream and put your hands in to the disposable gloves. Then put your rubber gloves on over the disposable ones.
Now, when you do this you WILL feel foolish and your hands will feel squidgy but once everything warms up you wont even know.
Then spend three hours getting freezing (your hands will remain warm) using neat acid to remove brake dust, and tar remover, and T Cut, and Polishes and the finally Zymol until your car is looks brand new again.
Then the magic bit.When you finish cleaning the car instead of spending the next hour removing black brake dust from under your nails with jif and sandpaper, you just remove both layers of gloves and your hands will be bone dry and clean and soft enough to get to spend the next three hours providing that massage!!
Benefits to this method.
a. Car gets properly looked after.
b. Your hands get looked after.
c. Your wife forgives you for spending all morning on the car.
(PS. If you have tattoos, are single, or are well ard, then this advice is not for you, but if like me you the heaviest thing you lift all week is a Shaeffer Pen then try it!)
Get out there and get stuck in. 
