List your pet hates of motorists

[jumperjohn]

Oh, another corker: Seeing other drivers pick their nose and eat the bogies.

I love a good bogie, a slightly crunchy one is the best.

 

[MOCAŠ]

Another seemed to be telling his wife that the driver in front of me enjoyed masturbation.

Thought that was the internationally-recognised gesture for "Fancy a dogging session?"...

(or so I've heard)

 

[tacfoley]

I can travel from Thurso to Stranraer - FOR FREE.:bannana:
...and back again! (tho' why I would want to escapes me...)

I would rather have boiling mercury poured from a spoon into my stapled-open eyes than travel anywhere in Scotland in a bus.

The very thought of it fills me with the shibbers.

tac

 

[gtvlusso]

As a cyclist (most of the time) - I hate everyone and everyone hates me......

Just like to say that I don't jump red lights or ride on the pavement and I pay road tax!.....give me some credit...

 

[st4]

I love a good bogie, a slightly crunchy one is the best.

You certainly don't want to slimy a one, needs to come out well formed but not too crunchy IMHO

 

[This is Pete]

You certainly don't want to slimy a one, needs to come out well formed but not too crunchy IMHO

Slimey ones can be slurped directly from nostril to lips.

 

[st4]

Slimey ones can be slurped directly from nostril to lips.

But you don't get the joy of picking then, rolling them under your nail then scoffing from said fingernail.

All this pleasure at 70mph. I love motorways and my snotty snout

 

[Mercator]

I hope they clean the steering wheel when you trade in the shed.

 

[Buster'stheboy]

As a cyclist (most of the time) - I hate everyone and everyone hates me......

I don't hate you

I always give cyclists tons of room, they look so vulnerable when they're sharing space with cars.

Does anyone remember that chap that did Lands End to John O'Groats on a Penny Farthing for charity? I had to keep checking his progress on JustGiving to make sure he was OK.

 

[del320]

I would rather have boiling mercury poured from a spoon into my stapled-open eyes than travel anywhere in Scotland in a bus.

The very thought of it fills me with the shibbers.

tac

OK - let's do it.

I'll pour the mercury into your eyes before setting off for Thurso.

Deal?



BTW - where's knighterrant these days?

 

[jefrs]

As a cyclist (most of the time) - I hate everyone and everyone hates me......

Just like to say that I don't jump red lights or ride on the pavement and I pay road tax!.....give me some credit...

You may pay for a Vehicle Excise License (vehicle tax disc) but you do not pay "road tax".
It is a taxation upon motor vehicles, not pedestrians, bicycles and animals, to license them for use upon the public highway.



Indicators are not optional accessories.

 

[jay1983]

People who drive past a queue of traffic knowing its a right turn only ahead, and cut in. (also the people who let them in)

People who use bus lanes and never get caught. (also the people who let them cut in)

People on mobile phones.

I hate people who cut in just to get 10 car lengths ahead and I think the people who let them are stupid and need to make it awkward for them. Remember if they damage your car they are in the wrong and you have a queue of people behind who will vouch they were driving like tools.

 

[Mercator]

Motorcyclists who drive at high speed between two lines of slow moving cars and then blame the lane changing car for the crash.

 

[st4]

I hope they clean the steering wheel when you trade in the shed.

They'd be better doing the next owner and to scrap the big brute

 

[Deleted member 65149]

I just help feeling an element of piety here. Presumably, like 99.9% of drivers, you consider yourself having above-average skills.

I'm still interested to learn how you maintained that 70 mph average over your 233 mile cross-country jaunt, from Peterborough to those Welsh mountain roads, without upsetting any other road users.

Average skills are fairly pathetic so yes, I hope that I am better than average. May have something to do with nearly 50 years of driving without any motoring offence greater than a single parking fine (when at a cash point getting money for a car park!). Or perhaps it's my ambulance driving course that helped, or my skid control course, or my day at Thruxton gaining top marks in a Formula Ford single-seater. But most likely it's my driving instructor all those years ago who was also a police driving instructor, and my brother who'd hit me when I got it wrong! All that has led to an avid interest in motoring that has taught me to be aware all the time that I'm driving and not allowing my attention to be distracted. Am I the best driver on the road? Certainly not. Just one who cares.

As for the 70mph average on a long journey - it was mainly on motorways where it's easy to maintain a 75 - 80mph in favourable conditions if you pay attention all the time and think ahead. Just don't drive too close to anyone such that you have to brake and lose speed unnecessarily. With that higher average on the majority of the route, the lower speed minor roads didn't cut into it too much. And of course the trip computer reading I displayed was on my CLK230K so inevitably not accurate (my speedo reads 8-10% high so that was probably the same!).

I'm sorry to hear that you were missing me del, hopefully all that will put your mind at rest

 

[renault12ts]

Average skills are fairly pathetic so yes, I hope that I am better than average. May have something to do with nearly 50 years of driving without any motoring offence greater than a single parking fine (when at a cash point getting money for a car park!). Or perhaps it's my ambulance driving course that helped, or my skid control course, or my day at Thruxton gaining top marks in a Formula Ford single-seater. But most likely it's my driving instructor all those years ago who was also a police driving instructor, and my brother who'd hit me when I got it wrong! All that has led to an avid interest in motoring that has taught me to be aware all the time that I'm driving and not allowing my attention to be distracted. Am I the best driver on the road? Certainly not. Just one who cares.

As for the 70mph average on a long journey - it was mainly on motorways where it's easy to maintain a 75 - 80mph in favourable conditions if you pay attention all the time and think ahead. Just don't drive too close to anyone such that you have to brake and lose speed unnecessarily. With that higher average on the majority of the route, the lower speed minor roads didn't cut into it too much. And of course the trip computer reading I displayed was on my CLK230K so inevitably not accurate (my speedo reads 8-10% high so that was probably the same!).

I'm sorry to hear that you were missing me del, hopefully all that will put your mind at rest

But, but..you know what's coming...averaging 80 mph is illegal, and means that you haven't been caught rather than haven't offended.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

But, but..you know what's coming...averaging 80 mph is illegal, and means that you haven't been caught rather than haven't offended.

But is it an offence if you haven't been caught? A bit like the falling tree in a forest without anyone around to hear it, not making a sound!

 

[tacfoley]

OK - let's do it.

I'll pour the mercury into your eyes before setting off for Thurso.

Deal?

BTW - where's knighterrant these days?

Dear Mr del320 - not a hope. Last time I was in Scotland was for my niece's wedding - she married a Sjaetlander, BTW - as we crossed the border into Scotland from England, I had the grim satisfaction of seeing the rainbow in front of me turn to seven shades of grey.

We left as soon as we decently could, rather than contribute yet more misery to the place.

Nothing personal, yunnerstan', but all those Nova Scotians can't be wrong, can they?

tac, yanking your chain.

 

[del320]

Average skills are fairly pathetic so yes, I hope that I am better than average. May have something to do with nearly 50 years of driving without any motoring offence greater than a single parking fine (when at a cash point getting money for a car park!). Or perhaps it's my ambulance driving course that helped, or my skid control course, or my day at Thruxton gaining top marks in a Formula Ford single-seater. But most likely it's my driving instructor all those years ago who was also a police driving instructor, and my brother who'd hit me when I got it wrong! All that has led to an avid interest in motoring that has taught me to be aware all the time that I'm driving and not allowing my attention to be distracted. Am I the best driver on the road? Certainly not. Just one who cares.

As for the 70mph average on a long journey - it was mainly on motorways where it's easy to maintain a 75 - 80mph in favourable conditions if you pay attention all the time and think ahead. Just don't drive too close to anyone such that you have to brake and lose speed unnecessarily. With that higher average on the majority of the route, the lower speed minor roads didn't cut into it too much. And of course the trip computer reading I displayed was on my CLK230K so inevitably not accurate (my speedo reads 8-10% high so that was probably the same!).

I'm sorry to hear that you were missing me del, hopefully all that will put your mind at rest

I'll add "smug" to "piety" - as well as brazenly admitting to regularly breaking the driving laws of the land.

Having accrued "nearly 50 years" of motoring experience, I presume you are around 65 years of age and am surprised that still you retain such a cavalier attitude.

My solo driving career started at 15, "TWOC-ing" my father's Standard Vanguard and tearing around the countryside. In the intervening 47 years, I have pulled some shocking stunts but, throuigh good luck, and a modicum of skill , have never had, or caused, an accident.

Nowadays, I don't kid myself that I'm any more than competent and have long since hit on the head any heroics such as your foray into Wales.



(BTW, come back to me when you achieve over 220 miles in two hours...)

 

[tacfoley]

I once went from just outside Carlisle to Kirkwall in a little over five minutes - mind you, I WAS in a Tornado.

It was very, very beautiful, and no mistake. If you can promise me some nice weather I'd like to take our old 380SL up there sometime and futz around the Highlands.

tac