Thanks for coming back. I thought this thread was already death. I did followed all this looooong conversation and founded really interesting.
I Just recently bought a W208 and gave my W203 C270 cdi tractor to my wife for now and then commutes. Got enough, thought I'll save £££ on the pump and spent all in repairs: Diesel pump, injector seals o'rings, fuel lines, starter motor,suspensions and still few issues to sorted out. Never got so deep with previous petrol Mecs. The good thing is that thanks to the tractor, I got really involve into mechanics, and now I love it. I really appreciate the talent of Mechanics, especially those specialists that even some of then spend hours in these forums helping others. A big thanks to them.
Anyway, my point in here is that I just bought a W208 320 V6 with 68K and after a few thousand miles the car start to behaive with the same symptoms as you described, maybe with no so much shaking as yours, with 95-100C on traffic, sometimes this annoying humming noise is present but not always, and delay in gears. But the car is absolutely lovely, -brought back the memories of my W202 230K. It was £47K new with all the extras and it feels strong and powerful.
I notice that when I use V Power from Shell the car is much sharper and shakes a bit. I use now Momentum 99 Ron from Tesco and the car is much smoother. Don't know why. Gears a bit duvitating, but not much, I think it just needs a gearbox oil change, a big high the oil level at moment. Other thing I noticed is when the car is on traffic the temperature goes till 100C but if putting on the heating, let's say position II, the temperature drops to a sensible numbers, around 90s.
The car at idle is always at 500rpm, is this normal? all my previous cars worked at 800rpm at idle, wierd.
I'll do a Start diagnostic at the same time gearbox oil change and keep it posted.