Thanks all again for replies.
I have checked the messages notifictations on iPhone and they are on and I also did a reset of the comand system. I'm a bit unsure about doing the Comand update myself, may take it to Mercedes and have them laugh at me when its such a trivial thing. Its just getting a little annoying now, also the amount of times I've sat in my driveway asking friends to text me every 5 minutes while I try new things out!! Not going to give up.