The new Ford Ranger Truck

Discussion in 'OT (OFF Topic) Forums' started by brucemillar, Sep 12, 2016.

  1. brucemillar

    brucemillar MB Enthusiast

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    I went for a swift Sunday pint yesterday. Lovely..

    Sat out in the Sun and my eyes are drawn to the most macho looking "truck" (not misspelt) that I have seen in a long time. A Ford Ranger.

    This thing is mahoosive and a monster in Silver and Black. All it was missing was a Gun Rack and some Cow Horns on the Front.

    Mothers pulled their excited kids away from it. Hard men with tattoos puffed their chests out and sucked their waists in as they slunk by it.

    Then, the moment we all wanted. The owner came out....

    He did not disappoint. A chin that you break rocks on with stubble that makes your pubes shrink in shame. Wearing a white T-shirt that just about contained his bulgy bits, finished off with some massive Timberland boots. The ones that you can walk over molten steel or parachute into an erupting volcano.

    As a fellow man, I just would not argue with him. If he looked at me I was going to give my wallet, car keys and if required? my bottom.

    He slowly climbed in, one hand on the A, Pillar he just heaved his frame up and swung his planet hopping boots inside the six foot opening created by the solid steel door (made from old medieval castle bits).

    I prepared for engine start up by clenching my butt cheeks and suggested to my drinking colleague that he should hold onto the parasol and drinks. We had proper drinks, the parasol was on the table not in my pint of Guinness.

    At this point we heard it....














    The sound of a young girl farting in the forest. A sort of Phuuuuuutttttttttttt, swoooooooooosh. That was it FFS!! is it powered by a hairdryer?

    The gravel made more sound from the monster truck tyres than the engine created. I have heard louder song birds singing their offspring to sleep.

    Almost as one the entire pub garden groaned, turned their backs and carried on drinking. Like watching Sunflowers when the Sun goes down.

    As I went to the bar to get another drink (yes it's true, I did buy a round). Somebody asked another guy "did you hear that truck fire up?" The answer just summed it all up.

    "NO I DIDN'T"

    Is this F1 technology reaching the Ford Ranger?
     
  2. Rosso1

    Rosso1 Active Member

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    Stealth Style on a Sunday
     
  3. def90cars

    def90cars MB Enthusiast

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    3.2 V6 here in Aus!

    p.s. story sounds a tad metrosexual
     
  4. camerafodder

    camerafodder MB Enthusiast

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    Hilarious Bruce, thanks, I enjoyed reading that!
     
  5. developer

    developer MB Enthusiast

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    I can't un-see this image now :crazy:.
     
  6. Palfrem

    Palfrem MB Enthusiast

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    My BiL has one of these.

    It's not a bad truck to be fair.

    His previous Ranger was noisy and agricultural (said the man with an old G Wagen), but this is most car-like.

    And quiet!
     
  7. Sparkyy

    Sparkyy Active Member

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    I almost bought the ranger 3.2 v6 lovely truck but the vito was just better for everything aside from off-road
     
  8. crockers

    crockers MB Enthusiast

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    Ford F150 is the biggest selling vehicle in the USA.
     
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