Turns out, the illuminated door sills are not 12V. Well done, Mercedes - why have a simple thing, when it can be complicated to no end, right?
I mean, Apple MacBook Air keyboard backlight is less than 0.5mm thick, runs off a 5V and is brighter than the door sill (I just replaced a keyboard on my sister's old MBAir), plus it goes on for hours, without heating the universe by 5º.
Anyway, I refused to be beaten by WIS, and wasn't going to take half the car apart, just to install a [frivolous] accessory. So, after some bench testing, I managed to retrofit the sills, got all the OE functions, incl. the 5 minutes cut-off, and didn't even touch the SAM, much less remove the seats, battery and the fuse box, or other crazy stuff Mr WIS demanded.
I'll get some pics tomorrow ...