Speech! Speech!

[Storm]

I've just started writing my Groom's speech for my up-and-coming wedding. I've got as far as: "Hello" and I've hit a bit of a block.

I was just wondering, I'm sure many of you are married or have attended many weddings at least - is there a groom's speech that stood out to you as being particularly good, and if so what was in it? I really need some inspiration!

A colleague told me about one that was written using nothing but song titles/lyrics, which apparently worked really well but sounds like a nightmare to write!

 

[ibrar]

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, Goodbye"

 

[scumbag]

I've just started writing my Groom's speech for my up-and-coming wedding. I've got as far as: "Hello" and I've hit a bit of a block.
!

seems perfect to me.

you could condense it to "Hi" then fall over and go to sleep.

 

[Storm]

Apparently the shortest Groom's speech on record is:

"Thankyou for your presence and thankyou for your presents"

 

[Arwen]

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, Goodbye"

Don't forget the "thanks for coming"!

 

[ibrar]

Ooops! Don't forget to make the "Hello ladies and gentlemen, Thanks for coming, goodbye" as wity as possible

 

[gina2201]

My friend's speech started out as (something like)

"Hi, I got this speech of the internet..." and then he started talking all in Japanese or some mumbo jumbo made up language! Made people laugh anyway! Then he went on to do the proper speech, embarassing the groom a bit/funny stories, and such like.

I've never been to a wedding so can't help much but I'm sure you'll get lots if inspiration from here, friends and the internet Good Luck!

 

[verytalldave]

If you are not used to public speaking then keep it shortish and sweet. Dont try to be toooo funny or rude. It doesnt work.
If you ARE used to public speaking, then the advice is the same.
Time your speech. No more than 5 minutes tops.
There are books on the subject and I dare say pages of advice on the web. Read and digest and practise. Good luck. I've been best man 3 times and its nerve wracking to say the least. A little snifter before the speech to steady the nerves is a good idea, but not so much as to make the legs fail.

 

[maddog]

i quite like this one

http://www.break.com/index/funniest-best-man-speech-ever.html

 

[poppypiesdad]

the cousins wedding speaches went on for 3 hours god was the bar busy when they finally finished

 

[imadoofus]

People are coming to see you, and they're not expecting a huge spiel from the groom. Give the best man some consideration; if his speech is going to be cr@p, then tone yours down, because you don't want to outdo him (there's tradition to consider, after all).

I can be a gobby git, so I just said something like
"I'm not used to speaking in public, and as you all know, when I'm in an unfamiliar situation, I prefer to keep quiet".
That got a big laugh, and the rest was just brief thanks yous and the obligatory toast.

PJ

 

[Natalie]

Opened a book on mine, took bets to see who had the longest speech!

They went on for so long, the evening guests were arriving, my mother fell asleep and my great aunt got ever so drunk!

Depends on how comfortable you are, but sometimes just saying what comes naturally can be successful - after all, you know most of the guests one would hope!

Just enjoy and have a great time!

 

[TonyVianoAmbiente]

I'm surprised that no-one has mentioned the obligatory thanks to the bridesmaids, the person who performed the ceremony and the photographer (have to get that in, that's me!). Then thank everyone for coming, making particular mention of those who have come from a long way away, and if appropriate, thank everyone for their lovely presents. It's also polite to thank the manager of the venue for the reception and their staff, and/or the caterers.

Always end on a high note, which would be to thank the bride's parents for bringing into the world such a beautiful person then allowing you to marry her. That's the time to smile at your lovely new wife!

There's no need to do any more than this. The worst thing at a wedding is a groom who rabbits on too long, and tries to be funny and fails. It is the best man's job to raise a laugh or two, usually at the groom's expense.

 

[Bobby Dazzler]

Check a book to see what the etiquette is on who to thank.

Be sweet about your new bride, and complimentary to both families.

Whatever you say will be the right thing. If you're a funny guy anyway people will howl with laughter, and comment on the comedy genius. If you're not that way inclined, and taking a more loving approach, comments will be along the lines of awww sweet. You can't go wrong.

Most important of all, there is no expectation for the Groom to be funny. Full stop. That pleasure (read burden) is left for your Best Man.

My best man is about as shy as you can be - has no experience of talking to more than a couple of people at the same time - and easily intimitated. But through preparation he delivered an awesome speech.

 

[gl boy]

how about this one whilst looking at the Church seen a sign that said IF YOUR TIRED OF SIN COME ON IN,,,and underneath somebody had wrote if not phone 0787#########.....

 

[A-AvantGarde]

My best man is about as shy as you can be - has no experience of talking to more than a couple of people at the same time - and easily intimitated. But through preparation he delivered an awesome speech.

I actually had 3 best men speeches - one from my brother, one from my 1st cousin and then one from my 'proper' best man. He was like that too - very shy and not at all used to public speaking. He wrote & delivered a fantastic speech in the end - I was well impressed. Luckily he kept it clean and didn't embaress me

 

[Bobby Dazzler]

Mine kept it clean - but tried his very best to embarass me!!

Like mentioning the time a couple of police officers wanted me and him to explain what two odd looking 19 year olds were doing on skateboards, at the leisure centre, watching a school sports day. Apparently they received a call from a concerned onlooker!!

Not sure to this day if the concern was for the children thinking we were up to no-good, or our own safety having clearly not been on a skateboard for a few years.

There were many others...

 

[Simon]

" I know the brides got her head screwed on as I've heard she takes it off at night"

That's one I remember from my wedding. Not true

 

[GazCaff]

Don't do what a guy did at a mates wedding and forget the brides name!

 

[l5foye]

At one wedding I attended, at the reception the groom said that he and his then fiancee went to pre-wedding classes. At one, the minister asked her if she believed in sex before marriage. Her reply was - yes as long as it does not hold up the wedding ceremony!! The Archbishop present at the reception was not amused.