The view from the Aldi Car Park.........

[OneForTheRoad]

At least I lift the bonnet of my e350 and pee whilst pretending to do engine maintenance . " oh look mammy , that mercedes has a water leak " pfffftttt says mom , stick with an audi son when you grow up. I often hear.

 

[Marcel-Anthony]

You seem to assume the OP's van urinator was British as if there is no one of foreign descent living in these isles who is willing and able to urinate at will in public.

OP was quite descriptive re the offender "beer bellied middle aged underclass scum fat ****" could maybe have been foreign but I doubt it.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

You seem to assume the OP's van urinator was British as if there is no one of foreign descent living in these isles who is willing and able to urinate at will in public.

With around 90% of the UK population being British, that seemed to me to be a reasonable assumption to make.

 

[Rosetta]

We've all been there at some point. Sometimes it just wants to come! However, there is a difference between finding somewhere discreet in a corner, hiding from everyone's view to simply p!$$ing up the side of someone's car in broad daylight where everyone can see you. Disgusting.
Was he sober?

 

[ChipChop]

With around 90% of the UK population being British, that seemed to me to be a reasonable assumption to make.

The French, for example, have a long standing tradition of urinating in the streets. The pissoir. You can almost smell the sophistication of the Europeans.

 

[f17ant]

So a continuation of my mildly amusing occasional observational series "The view from behind the tills / down the aisles at Aldi" .......

Popped into work today for a couple of minutes to drop some stuff off. I parked my van smack bang in the middle of the Aldi car park in the yellow box for the lorries to turn around in. Come back to find some beer bellied middle aged underclass scum fat **** pi££ing up against my van in full view of women and children, it was 4pm the day before a bank holiday so quite possibly the busiest time possible. The lazy **** couldn't even be bothered to walk to a bush 10 foot away. He got back in his car like it was nothing. I quite understandably lost it.

What I did next I cannot post on a public forum but can say it didn't involve physical violence just phycological assault.


You literally couldn't make it up !

No wonder I'm losing the plot.

Rant over and thank you for listening

This story is no good to us without you telling us what you actually did

 

[poormansporsche]

First person to bring it up

I really cannot post what I did whilst standing in another person's piss whilst being told to **** off

Let's just say it involved a particular thing that has taken on a whole new level in these current times and a certain entertaining Harry Enfield quote

 

[Piff]

At work a week ago the neighbours were having a new patio laid. One of the groundworkers decided to pi$$ against a fence out of his employers view.
May have been out of his employers view but was about 3m away from the glass entrance doors where we were working. My female colleague was decidedly unimpressed at the sight of his appendage & it's bladder emptying ability.

 

[Tuercas viejas]

Quote:-
At work a week ago the neighbours were having a new patio laid. One of the groundworkers decided to pi$$ against a fence out of his employers view.
May have been out of his employers view but was about 3m away from the glass entrance doors where we were working. My female colleague was decidedly unimpressed at the sight of his appendage & it's bladder emptying ability.

This is curious.
Don't outside construction crews these day use a porta potty cubicle either parked/dumped in convenient spot (excuse the pun) or trailer mounted on the drive way roadside etc?
Over here its an OSHA requirement, the equivalent of yer 'elf & safety a Gubbermint brigade entity the UK.
There's a small company near me doing a roaring trade humping & dumping cubicles in the area.
Tuercas viejas

 

[Deleted member 159894]

First person to bring it up

I really cannot post what I did whilst standing in another person's piss whilst being told to **** off

Let's just say it involved a particular thing that has taken on a whole new level in these current times and a certain entertaining Harry Enfield quote

You spat at him?

 

[poormansporsche]

No. I was pissed off but even I wouldn't stoop so low

 

[Rpp999]

He was probably quite bemused when you shouted “ Loads of money “

 

[Deleted member 113659]

There's a small company near me doing a roaring trade humping & dumping cubicles in the area.
Tuercas viejas

I use this awesomely named company for my building projects.

Home

WC In Fields of Tongland, Dumfries and Galloway specialises in hiring out portable flushing toilets for events including agricultural shows and music festivals throughout southern Scotland and the North of England.

www.wcinfields.co.uk

 

[poormansporsche]

He was probably quite bemused when you shouted “ Loads of money

Considering my van is probably worth 40 times the amount of his £hitty zafira with a different colour door and fat **** ruined suspension I could have got away with saying it but settled one of the "the old gits" (as I am one) sayings, can't post what one as the righteous indignation on here would make my eyes bleed.

 

[AW8]

I believe I have had to meet a deal with many genuinely unpleasant people.

Some unpleasant people carry more or less body weight than other unpleasant folk.

I accept that it is possible to be both unpleasant & overweight.

Is the urinator deemed to be less pleasant due to his body weight & if so why ?

 

[Tuercas viejas]

I use this awesomely named company for my building projects.

Home

WC In Fields of Tongland, Dumfries and Galloway specialises in hiring out portable flushing toilets for events including agricultural shows and music festivals throughout southern Scotland and the North of England.

www.wcinfields.co.uk

You know guys Brits have a renown forte of turning boring sanitary ware into art forms .
No other nation comes closed to elevating the common or garden bog, or commode into a something ornate!
An object d 'art no less!
Something to cuddle or embrace while vomiting the effects of too much Whitbread Tankard at the local Rugger club dinner & dance & after a winning against some hard ar$ed Welsh team from the valleys.
All you can remember @ 1 a.m is the alcoholic haze the chant "There's a dirty stinking $hit house 6 miles north west of Katmandu "!

So with this preamble you can no doubt appreciate my delight in discovering about 30 years ago Do It Yurself Plumbing in the older section of Denver near the BNSF railroad tracks .
A series of tumble down shacks selling all sorts of plumbing supplies. AND sanitary wares both new and antique.
Out back was the yard, run by a bloke called Charlie who resembled a skinny American version of Fred Dibnah ! There were acres upon acres of used and salvaged sanitary wares mostly imported a half century ago or more, from the UK bearing names of fame like those of Thomas Twyford, Armitage Shanks, & Ogee !
I wandered around looking at Ogee or Amitage Shanks products , lines of white crazed pissoirs all stood to attention like tombstones. or freestanding commodes like a giants' causeway of Twyfords ashtrays.
In the corner was a shack refurbishing these cast off British works of art for the well heel'd of Denver& the West and their construction projects.

Circa 1890 Thomas Twyford Blue Transferware Antique Toilet Bowl – DEA Bathroom Machineries | Vintage toilet, Toilet bowl, Blue transferware

Mar 23, 2020 - We believe this bowl to be made by Thomas Twyford. It's the "Zone" model, it's definitely English porcelain, and is circa 1890. This bowl will need a Throne seat, and some repair to make it live again. All four screw holes around the base have been chipped, and the one on the...

www.pinterest.com

After several years of my repeat business it got remodeled and ended up looking like this:-

Do-It-Ur-Self Plumbing & Heating Supply photos

A photo at Do-It-Ur-Self Plumbing & Heating Supply

www.yelp.com

Robert the owner now a good friend of mine retired & shut shop late December last.
So, with no alterative you have only Home Depot or Lowes to purchase a boring line cheap Chinese knock off's, similar to what you might find being flogged at B&Q in zee auld country!
So no wonder everyone just pi$$es the streets , no class!
Frankly who wants to pi$$ in some cheap Chinese made knock off ceramic ware that has no class!
In zee gut auld days it was a unique pleasure to pee into shiny British made stoneware pissoirs with Shanks Armitage on it in blue, all arranged in a subway tiled underground Victorian temple of the famed Drum roll Drum roll , The British public convenience complete with attendant and his bike propped up against the wall. Now mostly all gone !
What ever next!
Tuercas viejas

 

[poormansporsche]

I believe I have had to meet a deal with many genuinely unpleasant people.

Some unpleasant people carry more or less body weight than other unpleasant folk.

I accept that it is possible to be both unpleasant & overweight.

Is the urinator deemed to be less pleasant due to his body weight & if so why ?

Well it certainly "tipped the scales " towards unpleasantness him being fat and added somewhat to the "Aldi Shopping Experience" that they like to bang on about at work

 

[Bellow]

There's a small company near me doing a roaring trade humping & dumping cubicles in the area.
Tuercas viejas

There's a small company near me doing a roaring trade humping & dumping humping & dumping cubicles in the area?

 

[DSM10000]

You know guys Brits have a renown forte of turning boring sanitary ware into art forms .
No other nation comes closed to elevating the common or garden bog, or commode into a something ornate!
An object d 'art no less!
Something to cuddle or embrace while vomiting the effects of too much Whitbread Tankard at the local Rugger club dinner & dance & after a winning against some hard ar$ed Welsh team from the valleys.
All you can remember @ 1 a.m is the alcoholic haze the chant "There's a dirty stinking $hit house 6 miles north west of Katmandu "!

So with this preamble you can no doubt appreciate my delight in discovering about 30 years ago Do It Yurself Plumbing in the older section of Denver near the BNSF railroad tracks .
A series of tumble down shacks selling all sorts of plumbing supplies. AND sanitary wares both new and antique.
Out back was the yard, run by a bloke called Charlie who resembled a skinny American version of Fred Dibnah ! There were acres upon acres of used and salvaged sanitary wares mostly imported a half century ago or more, from the UK bearing names of fame like those of Thomas Twyford, Armitage Shanks, & Ogee !
I wandered around looking at Ogee or Amitage Shanks products , lines of white crazed pissoirs all stood to attention like tombstones. or freestanding commodes like a giants' causeway of Twyfords ashtrays.
In the corner was a shack refurbishing these cast off British works of art for the well heel'd of Denver& the West and their construction projects.

Circa 1890 Thomas Twyford Blue Transferware Antique Toilet Bowl – DEA Bathroom Machineries | Vintage toilet, Toilet bowl, Blue transferware

Mar 23, 2020 - We believe this bowl to be made by Thomas Twyford. It's the "Zone" model, it's definitely English porcelain, and is circa 1890. This bowl will need a Throne seat, and some repair to make it live again. All four screw holes around the base have been chipped, and the one on the...

www.pinterest.com

After several years of my repeat business it got remodeled and ended up looking like this:-

Do-It-Ur-Self Plumbing & Heating Supply photos

A photo at Do-It-Ur-Self Plumbing & Heating Supply

www.yelp.com

Robert the owner now a good friend of mine retired & shut shop late December last.
So, with no alterative you have only Home Depot or Lowes to purchase a boring line cheap Chinese knock off's, similar to what you might find being flogged at B&Q in zee auld country!
So no wonder everyone just pi$$es the streets , no class!
Frankly who wants to pi$$ in some cheap Chinese made knock off ceramic ware that has no class!
In zee gut auld days it was a unique pleasure to pee into shiny British made stoneware pissoirs with Shanks Armitage on it in blue, all arranged in a subway tiled underground Victorian temple of the famed Drum roll Drum roll , The British public convenience complete with attendant and his bike propped up against the wall. Now mostly all gone !
What ever next!
Tuercas viejas

I do wonder what you are smoking at times but keep it up! You never cease to bring a smile

 

[Nicebutdim]

I read Barry Cryer’s memoirs a few years ago.

One anecdote was about his conversation with a soon-to-retire underground toilet attendant. Barry asked him how things had changed over the years. The attendant said “ It’s not like the old days, now people come down here to take drugs, or indulge in diverse sexual practices. In fact when somebody comes down here for a straight shite it’s like a breath of fresh air.”