What's the biggest mistake of your life?

[AMGeed]

Where do I start?

1 Marrying too young and having a child. It was never going to last. Fortunately my son and I meet up regularly.
(Remarried and have two great kids and 2 grandchildren I wouldn't be without)

2 Wasting literally £ 0000's smoking. Could have bought my house with change to spare if I'd realised what a waste it was a lot earlier.

3 Staying in a job (construction) far too long when I hated it. Ended up nearly killing me working so hard before retiring.

4 Not saving enough to cover my retirement. Life could be much more comfortable had I prepared better. My fault though and no complaints.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

Never too late pal, my paternal grandfather sired his last child in his 60's. The world needs good parents, I tell my BIL this all the time; they're a great couple with good jobs and caring natures and they're letting time slip away. Shame if it never happens.

My youngest daughter was born last year. I'll be 70 next week. My (second) wife and I tried for 20 years before we succeeded through IVF. It would only have been a mistake if we gave up trying every possible option.

 

[Deleted member 6183]

Regrets, I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.

 

[Darrell]

Me and my wife worked out the cost of moving to Skiathos and back to the UK.

Based on what our house would be worth and what we earned there and not here and a few other bits and bobs the total came in between 6 and 7 hundred grand!!!!

No regrets though.

 

[renault12ts]

I regret that I haven't seen one of my brothers for 5 years because he has become a recluse. He lives in my parents home and even they didn't see him for 4 of those 5 years.

 

[Deleted member 65149]

My biggest mistake was definitely in my 20's, 30's and 40's thinking that I needed to work my socks off to provide for my wife and two children. Because I worked every available minute, either in employment or on major home improvements, I didn't give enough time to my family. I clearly had my priorities wrong because I ended up having to have stress counselling, my marriage failed and my eldest daughter has completely rejected me. Second time around is so much better; we have less money but infinitely happier - a beautiful young wife who's not money hungry and a gorgeous 15 month old daughter I can spend 24/7 with. And stress is just history. I've definitely learnt from my mistake.

 

[developer]

it creates an empty feeling that's difficult to describe.

Although different circumstances I know that feeling (of sorts), again relating to children.

In my case, it's a constant and nagging dread of how my lad will manage when we're not around.

Torment doesn't describe it .

 

[Peter103]

A man who never makes a mistake, will never make anything.

 

[developer]

Back on topic - I worked for "the man" chasing a career, at the same time as beginning to create a property portfolio.

I wished I'd been brave enough to forego the management career, concentrating on the property instead.

I now sit in council/housing department meetings with fellow private rented sector landlords, some of whom are in 3 figure levels of property portfolio and are no older than me.

It frustrates me at times .

 

[Deleted member 37751]

My youngest daughter was born last year. I'll be 70 next week.

My granddads last child was his fourteenth so he was more than busy in the intervening years from his first!

 

[Tim203]

I would have been better off like you Darrel had I not moved to Germany for 6 years. But I met good people and had good times and can speak German.
Like Ant, people took advantage of my good nature when I was younger.
I regret having so little self esteem as a youngster and having so many psychological problems but am happy and eternally grateful a very clever lady got me through it, otherwise I don't think I would still be about.
One of my friends said don't regret the experience s you have made. My Father said it's easy to lower your standards but a lot more difficult to raise them.
We all have degrees in heinsight, mine is a doctorate.
My regret is not trusting my instincts and going on my first thought on something.
But Stu, your still young and have already managed to own a great car. That's a plus. I never achieved that and sold my TL 1000 when we needed extra cash when the kids were little.
You have had a good job that's payed well. As with a lot of others here I've worked myself into the ground, missed a lot of time with my boys but I am lucky to be quite fit and healthy ( apart from being kicked in the jaw at Kenpo tonight!) My family are also well.

Great thread Stu, strive to be happy mate.

Tim.

 

[Deleted member 113659]

In my case, it's a constant and nagging dread of how my lad will manage when we're not around.

Torment doesn't describe it .

Same here John. Our daughter is only 11 and we (Mrs Ant & I) are only 43. Strange irrational feeling isn't it.

Ant.

(Unless I've failed to spot your circumstances and there's more to your post, in which case I apologise.)

 

[Darrell]

StuartK,

On you still on track to be debt free by the age of 30? I take it that when you say debt free you mean that you will have paid off your mortgage.

 

[Nexman]

I let an ex girlfriend of mine make me turn against a friend as she took a shine to him and played on it, He walked in the pub christmas eve 2009 for my 21st as my birthday is xmas day I blanked him, I flew vegas the next day for a week I got a call 5am vegas time on the 27th he had been killed in a savage car accident with a drunk driver ... not sure what else to say take what you can from that I still miss him

 

[Edwards521]

I regret volunteering for everything in the Military to the subsequent detriment of my health after being badly injured. Putting work first also cost me two marriages, with my third now on the blink. I regret not trying harder with the mother of my son. Not so much staying with her, but just being emotionally closer. I massively regret having to be a weekend Dad, even though we're very close. There's plenty more too, but I have this insatiable curiosity about the future that keeps me going on.

 

[rockits]

Very good, interesting and open thread....such an eclectic mix of folk.

I have made a ton of decisions that turned out to be ultimately not the best ones I probably could have made. However I have always worked hard at anything I did and never been afraid to make decisions right or wrong. I put this all down to experience and learning so never see them as mistakes. I have never been afraid to make a decision...what is the worst could happen. Just dust yourself off and try again. I cannot ever be faulted for not trying....I am certainly one of life's triers

I do have one mistake though that I do regard as a mistake although it would have totally changed my life I am sure. In what way I will never know...for the better...for the worse we will never know. I always have messed around with cars and fixing things from a young age. Half of what I do in my daily work is fixing things or finding solutions to other people's problems. At 16 I went to a BMW main dealer in the City of London without telling my parents to try to gain a 3 year apprenticeship. I had 2 interviews and was offered the only single space they had that year. I went home and told my parents what my intentions were and they went nuts. I was given a choice of staying on at school to do my A-Levels or walk out the front door and make my own way in life pretty much in order to take the apprenticeship. I bottled out and stayed on to do my A-Levels...badly!

Cars and most things automotive is my only real true passion/love in life. Of course outside and in addition to my wife/children....and I do mean that! We are not what I would regard as rich but comfortable and really appreciative what our hard work has attained. It has been a slog but has allowed us to bring our kids up well, live in a great plot/house now also affording me/us opportunities to progress further. The last 20 odd years in the IT/technology sector has been bearable...just...as I have been suited to the industry so have done lots of things and had lots of experience. Money isn't the be all and end all but it does help in some ways. Time is the one commodity that I feel is the most valuable and one I have always struggled with....there isn't enough of it!

My mistake is that I had visions of being a mechanic and learning my trade for 3 years, then going into Motorsport or F1 or even doing engineering qualifications or something. I wasn't 100% clear at 16.....just knew I wanted to work with cars. I should have walked out of that door and tried to find my dreams. It may well have not ended up being the green grassland I always wanted or thought it would be but I would have been true to myself. That is my one and only mistake in life.

Funnily enough I can see myself getting out of the IT/tech game soon and getting into the car game in some fashion soon. My workshop at home will soon be complete and I think building a car collection and some car restoration is likely. if we can pull off the development plan I won't need to work conventionally any more so life will bless me with the opportunity to conduct work that I love on a daily basis. This would not be needed as a job and not for money but just because I can and would enjoy doing it. My take now and then is that you should do something in your working life that your truly love and engages you.

The one thing that I have always tried to do is shape everything to afford me the ability to say yes or no to anything I did or didn't like. If I didn't want to deal with a customer or didn't like this or that I could say no and change it not worrying about needing the money or the fallout of making that decision. If something is making you unhappy or not happy then change it. Your unhappiness rubs off into others lives and I have done plenty of that. I am learning and changing so getting better but don't take too long or never to do this as time stops for no man. Time doesn't stand still and don't do tomorrow what you can do today.

I guess my wise words to my kids when the time comes is do something in your working life that you love....something that makes you happy. Money cannot buy this. I AM going to do this soon but missed 25 years of not doing something I love. Schoolboy error....literally

 

[Dryce]

Staying in Scotland when I started work was my biggest mistake.

Looking at career paths of my contemporaries and colleagues over the last 35 years I should have headed south or to the US. I was offered chances to move in my early 20s and early 30s and didn't take them.

My regret isn't that the path I took wasn't interesting. I have been lucky in so many ways and the money has been comfortable enough. But when I look at the opportunities I passed up I realise I could have possibly achieved much more and done more that was notable.

 

[StuartK]

StuartK,

On you still on track to be debt free by the age of 30? I take it that when you say debt free you mean that you will have paid off your mortgage.

Lol no I wish though. I would definitely be walking out the door of my office like the guy in assassins

 

[Deleted member 113659]

Lol no I wish though. I would definitely be walking out the door of my office like the guy in assassins

Another bright side to look on is that you have a mortgage. :bannana:

Imagine if you were paying silly money in rent with no end in sight?

 

[Deleted member 6183]

Another bright side to look on is that you have a mortgage. :bannana:

Imagine if you were paying silly money in rent with no end in sight?

Only you Ant.

Although you might have a point if you consider the products, erm, loans that are being announced at the moment.