Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

[Slartibartfast]

Flying off to Tenerife but not feeling very confident at the moment

 

[SpikyMikey]

Don't worry:

 

[baxlin]

Post #5821 reminded me of a few years ago sitting on a Britannia Airways aircraft at Luton airport, and seeing a couple of blokes drilling into one of the engine nacelles. Then adding a couple of self tappers to hold it in place. Slightly more permanent than gaffer tape, but still a bit disconcerting…

 

[anglaslt]

Several years ago on a Lithuania Airlines flight from London to Vilnius I was sat alongside the right side engine and noticed dark fluid streaming down the engine casing. I pointed it out to cabin crew who went off to the cockpit. He returned a few minutes later and said if I was concerned I could move to a diffent seat .

 

[ALFAitalia]

 

[SpikyMikey]

Several years ago on a Lithuania Airlines flight from London to Vilnius I was sat alongside the right side engine and noticed dark fluid streaming down the engine casing. I pointed it out to cabin crew who went off to the cockpit. He returned a few minutes later and said if I was concerned I could move to a diffent seat .

Must be something about Lithuanian airlines. Back in 2011, we flew to Corfu on Small Planet Airlines, a Lithuanian charter outfit (now defunct).
My seat armrest had seen better days and had this imaginatively-crafted repair of the partly detached metal trim:

I always assumed the Elastoplast fix was carried out by a previous well-meaning occupant of the seat and wasn't an official Boeing repair procedure. To add to our feeling of impending doom, the poor old 737 had a flat-spotted main gear tyre and also a brake judder that vibrated the whole airframe.

 

[markjay]

On a night flight out of Abidjan, after boarding, the Air France pilot announced that the plane is delayed due to a problem with the cargo door, which wouldn't close properly.

There were a lot of ground crew and techs walking around the right side of the plane, and much banging and slamming noises could be heard. They even brought a mobile projector at some point

After some more head scratching by the people on the ground, the Captain then announced that a senior tech was summoned. When the senior tech couldn't fix it either, we were told that they have decided to replace the cargo door lock mechanism and the new part is on its way from the warehouse. At this point we are already a couple of hours behind schedule (and I realised that I was going to miss my connecting flight from Paris to London).

Then, a suprise announcement: will be on our way is 5 minutes! They moved the big crate that stopped the cargo door from closing, and all was well

 

[DSM10000]

Around 25 years ago a friend was travelling through Russia on an internal flight with
Aetoflot.

There was a problem securing the front passenger door lock6

Much discussion took place between the crew and the Captain who, annoyed at being delayed, disappeared down the steps and came back with a rope which he used to secure the latch by tieing it down to a crew seat.

 

[DSM10000]

 

[SpikyMikey]

View attachment 137993

I want to know how you've managed to get a picture of the lounge at Chez Spiky

 

[DSM10000]

I want to know how you've managed to get a picture of the lounge at Chez Spiky

I have my contacts everywhere!

 

[SpikyMikey]

I have my contacts everywhere!

Mine are in my eyes mainly

 

[Smart320]

Around 25 years ago a friend was travelling through Russia on an internal flight with
Aetoflot.

There was a problem securing the front passenger door lock6

Much discussion took place between the crew and the Captain who, annoyed at being delayed, disappeared down the steps and came back with a rope which he used to secure the latch by tieing it down to a crew seat.

Having spent 3 years in Russia in the late 90’s , taking between 3 - 5 flights a week internally on all sorts of airlines ( Aeroflot was one of the best ) I am not at all surprised

 

[ALFAitalia]

 

[flying haggis]

With the weather being so bad I’ve just been round to see if my elderly neighbour needs anything from the shop.




Luckily she does so I've asked her to fetch me some milk.

 

[ALFAitalia]

But DONT if you are of a sensitive or woke disposition!!

 

[DoberMan]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[poormansporsche]

Excuse my ramblings......

Being the only male in a house full of wimmin.

Remember the ad "Take 2 bottles into the shower, not me" ......

I counted 12 bottles today , grrrrrr

 

[ChrisEdu]

Excuse my ramblings......

Being the only male in a house full of wimmin.

Remember the ad "Take 2 bottles into the shower, not me" ......

I counted 12 bottles today , grrrrrr

Not to mention blocked plug holes!