Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics please)

[DSM10000]

Don't forget to collect your coat on the way out....

Are you tearing me off a strip?

 

[Chrishazle]

No, he's just waxing lyrical!

 

[SpikyMikey]

No description required


View attachment 154843

The Middle Of Lidl gets more diverse every day.

 

[Chrishazle]

Takes me back to 1978 when wife was in hospital for birth (natural) of our first child and nurse gave her a "haircut" with a disposable razor, which she did not enjoy at all. Fast forward 7 years to the impending birth of our second, she asked me if I would "prepare" her for admission as she did not enjoy the first one. If I tell you any more I'll have to kill you (if I survived her finding out I'd told you!!)

 

[MikeInWimbledon]

Takes me back to 1978 when wife was in hospital for birth (natural) of our first child and nurse gave her a "haircut" with a disposable razor, which she did not enjoy at all. Fast forward 7 years to the impending birth of our second, she asked me if I would "prepare" her for admission as she did not enjoy the first one. If I tell you any more I'll have to kill you (if I survived her finding out I'd told you!!)

Was the after-shave a mistake?

 

[Trickythemerc]

More likely the hedge trimmers were the problem.

 

[DSM10000]

 

[SpikyMikey]

Was the after-shave a mistake?

Perhaps a generous application of Brut 33 ("Splash it all over") wasn't the best idea.

 

[SpikyMikey]

Takes me back to 1978 when wife was in hospital for birth (natural) of our first child and nurse gave her a "haircut" with a disposable razor, which she did not enjoy at all. Fast forward 7 years to the impending birth of our second, she asked me if I would "prepare" her for admission as she did not enjoy the first one. If I tell you any more I'll have to kill you (if I survived her finding out I'd told you!!)

Disposable razors are no good for the task in question.
You need a modern razor that utilises cutting edge technology.

 

[Gollom]

Disposable razors are no good for the task in question.
You need a modern razor that utilises cutting edge technology.

Don't tell me, a friend told you......

 

[SpikyMikey]

Don't tell me, a friend told you......

They would have done.......if I had any.

 

[NJSS]

 

[MikeInWimbledon]

(The Oxford rowing coach has been complaining about the Thames Trout that we all used to take for granted...)

 

[Petrol Pete]

See how they like it
View attachment 154845

Already available .

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gay-Rainbow-Stars-Stripes-Flag/dp/B00J3XTAJM

 

[DSM10000]

Disposable razors are no good for the task in question.
You need a modern razor that utilises cutting edge technology.

Occam's razor?

 

[DSM10000]

Perhaps a generous application of Brut 33 ("Splash it all over") wasn't the best idea.

Wire wool and Dettol!

 

[ALFAitalia]

 

[flying haggis]

Wire wool and Dettol!

You old romantic you...

 

[HappytalkAgain]

They would have done.......if I had any.

Oh come on Mikey. Don’t say that. There must be someone.

 

[SpikyMikey]

Oh come on Mikey. Don’t say that. There must be someone.

Only kidding. I was just going for the sympathy vote.
I've got hundreds of friends.........well, a few anyway.......well, a couple......
Inflatable Ingrid quite likes me....I think.