Bullies on Internet discussion forums

[rothbury]

We wish to remind everyone that bullying will not be tolerated on these forums.

Whilst the below case is not reflective of a recent issue on these forums, it is a reminder for us (this includes staff) on etiquette within our community and being able to empathise with other users from all backgrounds.

"Bullying is when a person or group Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone who is weaker. Sometimes it involves direct attacks such as hitting, name calling, teasing or taunting. Sometimes it is indirect, such as spreading rumors or trying to make others reject someone. Forum bullying or cyber bullying has become a widespread issue throughout the Internet. As a former moderator I've encountered it it's various guises many times. As one of the powers that be, it was difficult enough dealing with the usual spammers and trolls, but that was nothing compared to having to deal with already established members with high post counts and years of knowing each other in that forum.

The term 'regulars' has gained notoriety over the years on all kinds of forums. That's where the bullies are easier to spot. To an outsider or a lurker, it can be a bit intimidating submitting a post as a newbie. Not knowing all the ins and outs and who knows who, it can be a bit daunting. The TOS (terms of service) or forum rules usually only serve to favour the regulars and bullies if there is some flaming going on in a particular thread.
To give an example, I posted a complaint on the my3cents consumer site last April regarding issues that I had with my bank, Chase. After lurking on some of the forums on this site I knew which regulars gave out sound advice and which ones were there just to flame new posters. So in response to my post I got four comments, three of these were sanctimonious and opinionated. I posted back somewhat sarcastically with "Thanks for the pontificating, dogmatic, sage, etc. advice!" which resulted in 'full mod status' being put on my user account. This basically meant from then on my posts had to be reviewed by a panel of administrators before being published.
Anyway, being crippled by the powers that be, I could no longer fight back and watched as regulars were only civil to each and downright nasty to newbies. The unwritten rules were that the newcomers had to endure these nasty comments without reprisal. The bullies knew how to get around the censorship and avoided talking with you, or PMing you if you hadn't been 'broken in yet'. I also became aware a certain amount of favouritism displayed by administrators from the start. In any particular heated debate with a regular and a newbie, they would side with the regular and I noticed that they even let these people use various nicknames that surely must breach the guidelines. I can't publish these here for obvious reasons. ​

Well, I can deal with bullies on forums, trolls and the like a lot easier if I didn't have to worry about the forum administrators protecting them! That's the real issue here. I get tired of myself and others being dismissed as oversensitive or censored when we fight back against these bullies. So much for free speech! ​

By: xBicceyx "​

Source: Bullies on Internet discussion forums - cyber bullying stories

After the closing of the Khamen and Steve C250 threads may I suggest that those who were responsible actually read the above. There ARE some decent people on here but "the regulars" don't have much to recommend them frankly. I think I'd prefer to live in relative ignorance than put up with some of the insults I have seen on here. DMs reply to Steve's last post was a real eye opener and totally out of order., and of course totally justified the few of us who had been critical of the way he was posting.I doubt he would have said it to his face and that of course is always the point isn't it?

 

[V12]

After the closing of the Khamen and Steve C250 threads may I suggest that those who were responsible actually read the above. There ARE some decent people on here but "the regulars" don't have much to recommend them frankly. I think I'd prefer to live in relative ignorance than put up with some of the insults I have seen on here. DMs reply to Steve's last post was a real eye opener and totally out of order., and of course totally justified the few of us who had been critical of the way he was posting.I doubt he would have said it to his face and that of course is always the point isn't it?

I think you should read the thread from the beginning and see how helpful DM was to Steve.

 

[John]

I think you should read the thread from the beginning and see how helpful DM was to Steve.

Historically when I've seen the posts - any glimmer of helpfulness is often tarred and feathered by glut of childish immature warped 'keyboard warrior' responses which would never be said in real life as Rothbury suggests. Professional help required there...

 

[renault12ts]

After the closing of the Khamen and Steve C250 threads may I suggest that those who were responsible actually read the above. There ARE some decent people on here but "the regulars" don't have much to recommend them frankly. I think I'd prefer to live in relative ignorance than put up with some of the insults I have seen on here. DMs reply to Steve's last post was a real eye opener and totally out of order., and of course totally justified the few of us who had been critical of the way he was posting.I doubt he would have said it to his face and that of course is always the point isn't it?

Thanks for the heads up about this thread. I read it through...and it strikes me that DM and others were being helpful...to a point. That point being where C250 decided he didn't like being doubted.

He was relying on the OBC to prove he was doing 59mpg...he disagreed with those who advised not to rely on the OBC, and started saying people were being "nieve". He was asked many times to give a brim to brim calculation of his mpg...but didn't do so...therefore he could not provide conclusive proof as to his claim.

He then decided to flounce around with others in support.

He could have argued his case more successfully if he'd done a brim to brim...rather than rely on his "experience" with cars to prove that what the OBC said was true.

So, once again, thanks for giving more of us an opportunity to comment on the thread...but, IMO, it's not quite as you paint it.

 

[Howard]

Careful , soon it'll be the gang of six !

Finally though , someone talks sense.

 

[Deleted member 37751]

and it strikes me that DM and others were being helpful...to a point.

The contradiction is that as soon as someone says anything that vaguely contradicts DM, he is like a dog with a bone about it and it's ruining perfectly innocent threads.

I always used to look out for his posts because I found them to be helpful and knowledgeable, but now he's almost on permanent attack mode about everything.

Calling me a creep because I've tried to be diplomatic with SteveC250 was quite pathetic, you can call me a billy hunt or a merchant banker even, but I'm no creep.

 

[developer]

, you can call me a billy hunt or a merchant banker even, but I'm no creep.

Must be a dialect thing - James Hunt and W.Anchor down here.

 

[wemorgan]

Creep.

Seriously though. It takes two to argue. Forums are perfect breading grounds for perpetual debate. If anyone tires of what they read in a thread it's best to move on to another.

Too many people like to have the final word. And that was mine on this matter

 

[renault12ts]

I agree Lee...but in that thread it was going along nicely until Steve C250 posted on page 10, post 145.

 

[Deleted member 37751]

I agree Lee...but in that thread it was going along nicely until Steve C250 posted on page 10, post 145.

I re-read the thread from start to finish after your post to see exactly how it panned out, and yes, SteveC250 did flounce a bit, but in his previous posts he came across as a decent bloke.

Does no-one get the benefit of the doubt anymore?

 

[Mozzer]

Can we have "You smell because you do" and "You're a git because you are" buttons please ?

 

[Paul/]

The latest instance wasn’t all one-sided.

But it was just as tiresome and unpleasant as all the others.

It happens too often. It’s not random- some of the protagonists are predictable and after a while the “home” side almost follow a script.

If children squabble offensively, they’re told it doesn’t matter who started it, they should be grown up enough not to stoop to the unacceptable childish behaviour of the others.

So why should the same behaviour be tolerated from adults?

And while I’m on my soapbox…

“Banter”
Noun= The playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks.
Verb= Talk or exchange remarks in a good-humoured teasing way.

…yet some members twist that in to some unwritten macho code of conduct that supposedly excuses any crass offensive remark.

I’m sure that the vast majority of members are tolerant of and civil towards others- it’s the way we want, and expect, to be treated ourselves. If people can’t abide by those basic standards, there are surely more suitable places for them to meet like-minded individuals and be disagreeable with each other.

 

[V12]

Does no-one get the benefit of the doubt anymore?

Yep...they do.
He decided to leave. No one bullied him into it.

@Paul, post 196 was great and very pertinent.

 

[renault12ts]

I re-read the thread from start to finish after your post to see exactly how it panned out, and yes, SteveC250 did flounce a bit, but in his previous posts he came across as a decent bloke.

Does no-one get the benefit of the doubt anymore?

He did, and they do...but then he posted number 188, which was over the top...and until then Will had only replied once to him after post 145. Will did then reply in post 206...but the OP had asked for it somewhat in post 188.

(In the next post he called you a creep...you can be... ... five emoticons to denote I am joking ).

Will said nothing more to the OP.

And if Rothbury hadn't seen fit to attack DM in this thread this is where it would have ended.

 

[Mercy1]

Too many people here being a tad too touchy. It's only a Forum for God's sake...hot air in cyberspace.
When I am leaped upon from a great height, I have a little snigger. Nice one, I often have to say...
No need for anyone to get offended and flounce off - just laugh and move on!
All mediums have their characters and who cares if they go ON and ON and ON about the same thing? That's what people do, isn't it?
I love it when 7G is mentioned...just know a certain Scotsman will be along to rubbish it. Car colours? Well, anyone who hasn't got silver is wrong, aren't they? And woe betide anyone who's mad enough to have leather seats!!
C63s and PCPs, mapping, mpg claims, silly comments? Well we all know who will jump on you with an withering comment. So what?
Underneath it all, this Forum is extremely informative, humorous and interesting, and if you get offended you are taking YOURSELF far too seriously (no offence intended!).

 

[renault12ts]

Too many people here being a tad too touchy. It's only a Forum for God's sake...hot air in cyberspace.
When I am leaped upon from a great height, I have a little snigger. Nice one, I often have to say...
No need for anyone to get offended and flounce off - just laugh and move on!
All mediums have their characters and who cares if they go ON and ON and ON about the same thing? That's what people do, isn't it?
I love it when 7G is mentioned...just know a certain Scotsman will be along to rubbish it. Car colours? Well, anyone who hasn't got silver is wrong, aren't they? And woe betide anyone who's mad enough to have leather seats!!
C63s and PCPs, mapping, mpg claims, silly comments? Well we all know who will jump on you with an withering comment. So what?
Underneath it all, this Forum is extremely informative, humorous and interesting, and if you get offended you are taking YOURSELF far too seriously (no offence intended!).

Utter rubbish.

 

[renault12ts]

......

 

[Deleted member 65149]

Too many people here being a tad too touchy. It's only a Forum for God's sake...hot air in cyberspace.
When I am leaped upon from a great height, I have a little snigger. Nice one, I often have to say...
No need for anyone to get offended and flounce off - just laugh and move on!
All mediums have their characters and who cares if they go ON and ON and ON about the same thing? That's what people do, isn't it?
I love it when 7G is mentioned...just know a certain Scotsman will be along to rubbish it. Car colours? Well, anyone who hasn't got silver is wrong, aren't they? And woe betide anyone who's mad enough to have leather seats!!
C63s and PCPs, mapping, mpg claims, silly comments? Well we all know who will jump on you with an withering comment. So what?
Underneath it all, this Forum is extremely informative, humorous and interesting, and if you get offended you are taking YOURSELF far too seriously (no offence intended!).

Words of wisdom at last. Thank you.

We all know that McNoLeatherOnlySilverNo7G has his tongue firmly planted in his cheek with many of his comments. Well they make ME laugh anyway. Mr IKnowFarMoreThanYouDieselIsBest doesn't know when to stop, but it's so easy to skip over his incessant attempts to belittle other members. Laughing at him is so much more rewarding than rising to his bait. It took me a little while to learn; now I can just enjoy the forum, and long may it last.

 

[Mercy1]

Utter rubbish.

It is, isn't it? Sorry, I just can't help myself

 

[renault12ts]

It is, isn't it? Sorry, I just can't help myself

:bannana: