Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics or Football please)
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It makes him Feelgood.
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Flyinspanner
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Not a joke but.....
I am currently selling a 300 quid 80 year old Tea Pot on eBay.
Got a message today "Is it Dishwasher safe ?"
I am currently selling a 300 quid 80 year old Tea Pot on eBay.
Got a message today "Is it Dishwasher safe ?"
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- Joined
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More like a half-hearted vegan....?
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An Australian tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own.
He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a
quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have
a pint of Guinness.
After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class neighbourhood.... big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores,no
restaurants, and worst of all...NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness'.
He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby,
who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the Australian, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom.
"Ah, yes," said the bobby..."Just follow me". He leads him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.
"In there," points the bobby, "whiz away sir, anywhere you want."
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he
has ever seen.
Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculpted hedges, and huge
beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.
As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was
really decent of you... is that what you'd call 'English
Hospitality'?"
"No, sir" replies the bobby,
"that is what we call the French Embassy
He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a
quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have
a pint of Guinness.
After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class neighbourhood.... big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores,no
restaurants, and worst of all...NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness'.
He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby,
who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the Australian, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom.
"Ah, yes," said the bobby..."Just follow me". He leads him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.
"In there," points the bobby, "whiz away sir, anywhere you want."
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he
has ever seen.
Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculpted hedges, and huge
beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.
As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was
really decent of you... is that what you'd call 'English
Hospitality'?"
"No, sir" replies the bobby,
"that is what we call the French Embassy
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- Joined
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Flyinspanner
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- Mine: BMW X4 2.0d M-Sport (Red) Hers: BMW X1 2.0d M-Sport (Black) Sorry about that...
We have a holiday home near Cliff Richard, and he always used to say "good morning" when we passed him. Sadly, these days he no longer greets us.
Its so funny, we don't talk anymore...
Its so funny, we don't talk anymore...
Williamwoo
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Speed bumps are badly named I think - if anything, they slow you down. (Nicked from Viz I think!)
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So do 'speed' cameras......
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