Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics or Football please)

[markjay]

When Chuck Norris does press ups, he actually pushes the world down 3 feet.

 

[ALFAitalia]

If I had a penny for every time I get called old fashioned, I’d have 4 sovereigns, 8 shillings and tuppence.

 

[Swotty]

 

[TC350]

If I had a penny for every time I get called old fashioned, I’d have 4 sovereigns, 8 shillings and tuppence.

I’m still looking for a bank that will exchange my groat.

 

[DSM10000]

I’m still looking for a bank that will exchange my groat.

I thought that read "Goat"

Have you tried Gringotts?

 

[Darrell]

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[ALFAitalia]

 

[MikeInWimbledon]

If I had a penny for every time I get called old fashioned, I’d have 4 sovereigns, 8 shillings and tuppence.

four guineas, 8 shillings and tuppence ha’penny…

 

[m80]

four guineas, 8 shillings and tuppence ha’penny…

So thinking of Elsie Tanner,
did Bob get two goes?

 

[MikeInWimbledon]

So thinking of Elsie Tanner,
did Bob get two goes?

I go florin just thinking about it.
They say he loves her thruppenny bits,
but he’d get ten for half a crown.

 

[HappytalkAgain]

 

[DSM10000]

View attachment 158564

I hope your coat is to hand!

 

[Rayny]

I hope your coat is to hand!

The 'joke' was OK - But the poster deserves to be excommunicated for the excessive and irrational use of capital letters ...

 

[HappytalkAgain]

The 'joke' was OK - But the poster deserves to be excommunicated for the excessive and irrational use of capital letters ...

SoRrY

 

[flying haggis]

 

[Tonye]

 

[John N]

 

[poormansporsche]

View attachment 158576

Not a joke but we ordered a banana split at our local Chinese restaurant once and they served a banana, split in half !!!!

 

[DSM10000]

Not a joke but we ordered a banana split at our local Chinese restaurant once and they served a banana, split in half !!!!

I remember having something similar in a Chinese restaurant with squirty cream down the centre

 

[DSM10000]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6TvPwArnH-/?igsh=MWsyNnVrcmswbDJybA==