Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics or Football please)

[SpikyMikey]

Not a joke as such, but found this on line whilst looking for something and it made me giggle;

When Mrs S saw it, she asked "are they going banger racing?"
Which rather outdid my suggestion that the car looks like it is fitted with wheels from a Chevrolet Courgette.

 

[GrahamT]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[NJSS]

 

[BMF]

 

[NJSS]

 

[BMF]

 

[GrahamT]

Two women catching up in a wine bar


First woman.... "oh, you got a hair cut, that's so cute"


Second woman...."Do you think so? I wasn't too sure when she gave me the mirror. It's not too fluffy?"


First woman...."It's perfect. I'd like to get my hair cut like that but my face is too wide"


Second woman...."Are you serious? Your face is adorable. You could easily have one of those longer styles. I was going to but my neck is way too long"


First woman...."Oh, that's funny. I would love to have your neck. Better than my football shoulders"


Second women....Don't be silly, I would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes on you so beautifully. If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me better"





Two men meeting up for a pint


First man...."Hair cut?"


Second man...."Yeah"

 

[GrahamT]

 

[DSM10000]

 

[DSM10000]

 

[DSM10000]

 

[SpikyMikey]

View attachment 153573

Looks a bit like me.

 

[SpikyMikey]

Looks a bit like me.

I'm not saying which one.....

 

[SpikyMikey]

 

[GrahamT]

 

[GrahamT]

 

[SpikyMikey]

View attachment 153606

It's pretty obvious what you're doing wrong......you've forgotten the deep fried onion rings in beer batter and the sauted mushrooms.

 

[tmwsccsh]

It's pretty obvious what you're doing wrong......you've forgotten the deep fried onion rings in beer batter and the sauted mushrooms.

And the obligatory shredded lettuce. Surely that would make the salad part work?

TMW