Even more new jokes... (No UK Politics or Football please)

[Meldrew2]

I think a slice of pickle would be enough to qualify...

 

[DSM10000]

 

[Chrishazle]

Sounds like "I knew she was Miss Right when I married her, did not realise her christian name was Always!!".

 

[NJSS]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[flying haggis]

People in Iran are scared of Spiders .







but in Iraq , no Phobia.

 

[flying haggis]

I've only got two or three good Motown puns in me.





Four Tops.

 

[flying haggis]

Police are searching for a thief who threatens his victims with a lit match.








They are desperate to find him before he strikes again.

 

[flying haggis]

Saw a mind reader last night.

Mind reader: "Think of a card, any card."
Me: "OK"

Mind reader: "Visualize it in your mind."
Me: "OK"

Mind reader: "Is it the King of Hearts?"
Me: "No"

Mind reader: "Is it the Ace of diamonds?"
Me: "No"


Mind reader: "What is it then?"




Me: "Happy Birthday"

 

[Gollom]

I've only got two or three good Motown puns in me.





Four Tops.

Reaching Out a bit there.......

 

[ToeKnee]

Reaching Out a bit there.......

But, he will be there! Or I will be......

 

[m80]

Saw a mind reader last night.

Mind reader: "Think of a card, any card."
Me: "OK"

Mind reader: "Visualize it in your mind."
Me: "OK"

Mind reader: "Is it the King of Hearts?"
Me: "No"

Mind reader: "Is it the Ace of diamonds?"
Me: "No"


Mind reader: "What is it then?"




Me: "Happy Birthday"

I vote that to be the best yet.

 

[ALFAitalia]

People in Iran are scared of Spiders .







but in Iraq , no Phobia.

People from Saudi Arabia don't like the Flintsones....

..... but people from Abu Dhabi do.......

 

[flying haggis]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[baxlin]

What’s big, grey and unimportant?

An irrelephant

 

[flying haggis]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[tmwsccsh]

View attachment 153650

Took a minute!

TMW

 

[GrahamT]

A friend of mine said I really must come round and eat his wife's beef Wellington, and now I don't know if I've agreed to a dinner party or swinging evening.